And See, She Flies
by LilyCullen1121
Summary: His purpose was survival. Hers was perfection. His goal was escape. Hers was independence. His secret was dark. Hers was complicated. His heart was scarred. Hers was bruised. When two people, the gangbanger and the princess, are thrown together by high school, though, they have no choice but to recognize themselves in each other.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

**Hi, friends!**

**Yes, I've started another new story while I already have two others going – and for those of you worried about "Not to Pass On" and "Everything's on Fire," I have drafts of the next chapters for both, and they'll be up soon, I promise.**

**For now, just know that this is an AH story, and that I'm super excited about it. I don't know if any of you recognize it from the version posted over at Twilighted, but if you do, please realize that this is nothing like that god-awful mess. It's been completely overhauled, much for the better **

**So I hope you enjoy!**

"And I've emailed your teachers, and they've agreed to waive your summer assignment due dates until the end of the quarter," Tony's new foster mother finished, smiling at him.

Tony shifted uncomfortably in his seat. What the hell was he doing here, he wondered, in this house, with these people? This wasn't his world. He didn't want to be here, and he was sure that they all knew it.

"Esme," he started. Even though he didn't have to give a damn, he really didn't want to hurt her feelings. Esme didn't have to do this for him, after all, he knew that. She _shouldn't_ have done all this for him. She'd realize that soon enough – all his other foster parents had. "I shouldn't be in AP classes."

At once, her pretty face got all shocked. "Of course you do! I've seen your grades, Edward. You can handle it, I know you can!"

Where did she get off on thinking that? Tony wondered. He'd only ever studied because it bought him time off the street. And at his old high school in Tucson, overcrowding and underfunding meant it didn't matter what your grades were; the teachers cared more about keeping order and making sure that there weren't too many reasons to call the sheriff. And those students who wore their gang colors proudly, as Tony himself did, only got attention when they were being accused of terrorizing some rich kid.

Esme was still watching him, waiting for an answer. "I just…" Tony started, "I'm not right for those classes, is all. And could you call me Tony?" He had always gone by the middle name. Not Edward, and sure as shit not Junior. For some reason his mother – who'd been a sixteen-year-old druggie when he was born – had decided to name him after a father he'd never met. The way Tony saw it, the man had never wanted anything to do with him, so why should Tony have to be connected to him?

Esme picked up Tony's transcript from the shiny wood coffee table and studied it. "Tell you what," she said, suddenly businesslike. "You stick it out for a semester. If it doesn't work out, you can quit, but not until you try it. Okay?"

He kept his snort to himself. He was pretty sure that he'd be gone by the end of the month. Esme Cullen and her husband The Doctor wouldn't want to keep him. He only had a year until he turned eighteen, anyway.

"And I won't call you Tony," she added, frowning. It looked so out of place on her face. "Your name is beautiful, and besides, it's what's on your documents. Anyway, I can't stand _West Side Story_."

"What?"

She watched him for a second, like she was trying to decide whether or not he was messing with her, but he honestly had no idea what she was talking about. "Never mind. But we do need to keep a degree of uniformity, at least until the trial time period for your foster placement here ends. Is that okay?"

It wasn't worth the effort, so Tony just shrugged. He wouldn't be here long enough for it to matter.

Esme glanced at the clock, and then over her shoulder into the kitchen. "Dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes. Can you go tell the others for me, please?" Without waiting for an answer, she patted Tony's hand and stood.

"Sure," he muttered, even though there was no one left to hear. He got up and stared out through the huge windows that overlooked the perfectly landscaped backyard, watching the sky get steadily darker. Then he stretched his arms out and went down the hallway to the 'game room.' It was so fucking stupid how big the Cullens' house was.

He heard laughter as he put his head through the doorway. "Hey," he said, and it got quiet real fast as the people in there looked up at him. Emmett, Tony's new foster brother, was playing pool with his girlfriend Rosalie. All of a sudden, Tony was really aware of the holes in his jeans. "Uh, Esme says dinner'll be ready in twenty minutes."

"Cool. Hey, do you wanna play winner?" Emmett said, holding out his pool cue, and Rosalie stood up straight and looked between the two of them. Tony couldn't tell whether they actually wanted to hang out with him, or were just trying to make Esme happy. But he was pretty sure it was the second.

"No. I'm good." He had already backed out of the room.

Rosalie shrugged. "Suit yourself."

But Emmett looked really disappointed, and Tony wondered why he cared. They weren't anything to each other, after all. Tony liked Emmett and all, but still.

Even after three days of being in this house, Tony wasn't used to having his own room; he'd had one only once before and he almost never slept in it. As he shut the door behind him and fell back on the bed, he thought about Esme. It would be easy to think that she was naïve if Tony didn't know what he did. As she and her husband Dr. Cullen (it was still hard for Tony to call him Carlisle, even though he'd asked, twice) had driven him from Saguaro House, the group foster home run by the Arizona State Child Protective Services, Esme'd told Tony she couldn't have kids. Two years ago, they'd brought Emmett to stay with them when he was fourteen, even though he was on drugs and had a habit of getting wasted. Barely a year after coming to live with them, he'd been completely sober.

Maybe that was what made them so sure that it would work out with Tony, he thought. But there was a difference between Emmett and Tony: Emmett wanted to be saved. Tony didn't need saving. He was fine. He could take care of himself. He'd just keep his head down until he turned eighteen, and then he'd be gone. Maybe the Cullens would keep him until then. Maybe not. In any case, this was temporary, and there wasn't really any point in pretending otherwise.

Tony stood, stretched, grabbed some clothes out of his duffel bag – he still hadn't even bothered to unpack – and headed into the bathroom he shared with Emmett to shower. As he pulled his shirt over his head, he caught sight of the shiny scar that crossed his back from his right shoulder to his left hip. He knew without looking for them that there were several others, all over his torso, as well as a couple of tattoos that didn't matter anymore. But the scars had done their job, he thought grimly, reaching into the shower and turning on the water.

Guys like Tony – wards of the state, foster kids – they couldn't rely on a family for their protection, not in the world they lived in. So we had to find it somewhere else. One of the most powerful Aryan gangs in Tucson, Anam Gi, had started recruiting Tony when he hit sixth grade. He was jumped in when he was thirteen. And for a while, it had been okay. For a couple of years he was still too young or too new to really be trusted with any responsibilities, but eventually he had to pay his dues.

At first it was just intimidating guys who didn't pay Vincent, the head of AG, for their crack. But once he got his license, they expected him to make deliveries. He didn't care. It guaranteed him protection, and he didn't mess with the shit himself. He'd seen too many guys get shot while they were wasted because they didn't know what was happening. But he did what he was told, he was left alone, Vincent got his money, the junkies got their drugs. Everyone was happy.

Only then there'd been the drug bust. The cops had come down on the gang in the warehouse where they hung out, and Vincent, most of his friends, and anyone else who hadn't been able to run fast enough got caught. And since Tony mostly kept to himself, since he didn't do the shit himself, he'd been blamed as the narc.

The water from the shower head splashed against Tony's body, little streams running over his scars, and he thought back to that night they'd jumped him again, this time for revenge. They would have killed him, he was sure, if that cop hadn't been out on patrol and driven past the alley.

But the incident had been too much for Tony's foster mom of the moment, and she'd kicked him out. Which was how he'd wound up at Saguaro House in Phoenix, and from there in the Cullens' house.

He watched the soapsuds swirl down the drain. Even though it hadn't been finished, it seemed like Anam Gi had decided to accept his beating as a jumping-out. After all, he reasoned, they'd had two weeks to come find him at the hospital, another one to visit the Saguaro House, and three more days to come after him here. He probably wasn't worth the effort, now that they had to lie low for a while and they didn't have a leader.

Tony wasn't complaining. When he turned eighteen, he'd be on his own, and he couldn't wait. He didn't need the AG, just like he didn't need the Cullens' charity. He didn't need anyone.

He stepped out of the shower and dried himself off before wrapping the towel around his waist. With his wrist, Tony cleared some of the steam from the window so he could see his face. Green eyes stared back at him from under a shock of copper hair. The reflection of his pale, half-naked body unnerved him.

He shook his head, reached for a T-shirt and pulled it over his head. He didn't need anyone. Not their help, and not their protection. If they could just see that now, everything would be so much easier.

The pilot flashed the 'fasten your seat belts' sign, and Bella felt the nose of the plane dip down as they flew in towards LAX. In the seat next to her, her mother, Renee, ignored the sign, still focused on her laptop. Bella didn't bother to tell her to buckle up. Renee wouldn't do it unless a hot male flight attendant came up to her and asked her nicely. While she looked a lot like an older version of Bella – there were liberal streaks of gray in her brown hair and a fine skein of wrinkles around her eyes and mouth, despite her best efforts with makeup – Bella had long since gotten used to her adolescent, indifferent attitude towards… everything.

To distract herself, Bella made a to-do list in her head. As soon as they got home, she had to make sure that everything was in order for leadership orientation, which started in two days. And then, she had to do a final proof on her summer assignments, and _then_ she had to make sure she had everything she needed for the first day of school, both for herself and also for the junior class, of which she was president. And somewhere in there she had to find time for her two best friends and her boyfriend Chris, none of whom she had seen for two weeks.

The sensation of being overwhelmed began to creep over her, and she shook it off. She could do this – she had been for years now.

The plane taxied down the runway without incident, and Renee sighed happily as they deplaned. "You know, sugar," she said to her daughter as they gathered up their carry-on bags, "I love my sister, I really do, but she just doesn't understand me. Or you, either."

Ugh. Bella _hated _to be called 'sugar,' as she told her mother more than once. But she chose to ignore it now, instead considering her answer to Renee's complaint carefully.

Bella's Aunt Maggie was almost ten years older than Renee, and was always scolding her for being irresponsible. First, it had been for taking off from Michigan right after high school to move to Phoenix and become an actress. Then it was getting married at the age of twenty and producing Bella a year later. _Then_, when she finally did decide to go back to school, it'd been her choice to train to be 'a _kindergarten teacher_, of all things.' No part of this constant strain of criticism served to endear Maggie to her sister.

"I'm sure she just wants to see you happy," Bella replied eventually.

Renee snorted. "No, she doesn't. She wants the chance to say she told me so, then for me to come groveling to her, all dependent. But not me. I love my life, sugar. I love it."

That one, Bella chose not to answer at all.

At the baggage claim, Bella heard a squeal behind her and turned, smiling widely. Her best friend Alice was bouncing towards her. Alice had a habit of bouncing everywhere. She had dropped Bella and Renee off at the airport two weeks ago and was here to pick them up, so they wouldn't have to leave a car in long-term parking. She pulled Bella into one of her signature bear hugs before holding her at arm's length to inspect her, as if it'd been months rather than days since they'd seen each other.

Alice always been the prettier of them, Bella reflected. Her layered black hair fell to her collarbone, framing her round face, where her bright blue eyes and slightly upturned nose stood out against a smattering of freckles. Hers were much lighter than the sunspots that streaked across Bella's own pale skin, so thick she looked almost tan (the effect wasn't flattering). Alice, however, was legitimately tan and enviously fit from her summer softball practice, and Bella only now realized how much she'd missed her blunt honesty over the past weeks. "Hey, babe."

"Hi," Bella smiled back, but couldn't stop herself from looking over Alice's shoulder. "Where's Jasper?"

Alice shrugged. "Basketball practice. With my dear brother. Jasper was super-stoked because Riley finally let him drive. But since softball ended early, I drew the short straw." She winked.

"You people make me feel really unathletic, you know that, right?" Bella raised her eyebrows.

Alice poked her in the side and Bella squealed. "Then can you explain to me why you're a size two and I'm not? And it's a healthy size two, not an anorexic size two."

Renee had pulled out her phone and was checking her text messages. "Sugar," she said, and both girls turned to her. "Phil just invited me to go out tonight. You gonna be okay getting dinner on your own?"

"Um. Yeah. Sure." Bella could almost _feel_ Alice trying not to roll her eyes and say something sarcastic, and was glad when she restrained herself.

Bella turned to Alice again. "Did Chris come?" she asked hopefully.

"Um. No, he didn't." Alice avoided Bella's eyes as she turned to pull one of her bags from her hand.

Alice was a patented failure at evasion, but before Bella could ask her what was wrong, Renee turned and started walking towards the parking structure, not checking to see if the others were following.

Alice took Bella's arm to draw her to the car. "Was it like that the whole time?" she whispered.

"Pretty much, yeah," Bella replied, also in an undertone so Renee wouldn't hear. "You know how she and Maggie always piss each other off. I don't know why we have to go back there every summer."

Alice laughed. "Well, Maggie probably wants to see that you haven't died of neglect or anything yet."

"Thanks."

They got back to Alice's old, dilapitated Ford convertible (which Jasper had nicknamed the POS) and loaded the bags into the trunk. Renee took the front passenger's seat, forcing Bella to take the back. She could see Alice bite her tongue as she got into the driver's seat and bolted into the lane between the rows of parking spaces, ignoring the sign that posted the speed limit at ten miles per hour.

That gave Bella pause. "Are you okay, Alice? You're acting kind of uptight."

Alice glanced at her in the rearview mirror, but Bella couldn't see her eyes through her sunglasses. "I'm fine," she said after a moment.

"No, you're not."

She shrugged. "Fine, I'm not. But it can wait." She glanced at Renee, and then shook her head. Bella understood. Alice wouldn't discuss whatever it was in front of Bella's mother.

Bella sat back in her seat and stared out the window as Phoenix whizzed past. After half an hour of Alice ignoring just about everything they'd been taught in Driver's Ed, they turned on their street – Jasper and Bella lived next door to each other with Alice and her older brother Riley across the street. Bella got out and breathed in deeply, perversely savoring the smell of smog in the air. All you could smell in Maggie's small town was cow dung.

Renee handed Bella her bags before unlocking her own car. Alice shook her head incredulously as Bella led her inside so she could start the laundry.

Jasper and Riley got back about an hour later, and after they'd let themselves into Bella's house, Jasper wrapped his arms about Bella and was swinging her around. "Bella's home!"

She hugged him back, even if he did smell like he'd just gotten done with a two-hour sports practice. Only, breathing quickly became a problem. "Jasper… lungs… require… oxygen," she gasped dramatically, and he laughed as he set her down. Bella forgotten how tall he was – he had a whole foot on her.

Bella smiled as she hugged him again. And then she said quickly, so as to catch him off guard, "What's Alice not telling me?"

He opened his mouth in surprise and Bella thought he would have answered had Alice not sucker-punched him in the gut. Bella glared at her. "I told you _later_," Alice hissed at Jasper, storming off into the kitchen.

Riley laughed and then took his turn to hug Bella. "How was Michigan?"

Bella shook her head. "If I could never go back again, I'd be happy."

He ruffled her hair. "Listen, I gotta go. I need to do my summer homework. And don't say it, Bella. Just don't. Okay?"

"Riley. Really. _Please_ put at least a little effort into it."

He grinned again, not promising anything, and left.

Jasper shook his head, smiling at Bella. She knew he was calling Riley a slacker in his head, but it was a little hypocritical. The most responsible thing Jasper had really ever done was get OnStar installed in his old beat-up truck, and that was just because his father had told he'd have to get rid of the truck without it.

Although Bella didn't forget Alice's tetchy behavior from earlier, she let it go for another few hours as Alice and Jasper peppered her with questions about Michigan and her boorish cousin Doug – who had somehow managed to get a girl to agree to marry him in the last year – and the pizza had been ordered. They chattered to her about the band of which they were all a part, too, and Jasper promised to show her a new song he was working on soon. But Bella didn't need to know them as well as she did to see that they were nervous. Finally, she folded her arms across her chest and glared between them.

"Okay, spill."

The other two glanced at each other, and Jasper looked as if he would very much like to deflect Bella's attention, but Alice put up her hands to stop him.

"Bella…" she started slowly, and Bella felt that cold feeling you get when you know you're not going to like what's coming. She leaned back against the counter, waiting.

Alice took a deep breath. "The day you two left… that night, there was a party at Jenny Miller's. We went," she said, indicating herself and Jasper. "We saw…." She faltered, looking at Jasper for help. He sighed, and took over. Bella was grateful, because she knew he'd tell it straight, once he got going.

"Basically, Chris got drunk and made out with three different girls. He disappeared into a bedroom with one of them." Jasper said the words quietly, as if that would lessen their impact.

Bella's breath caught, and she quickly looked away from his eyes, from the pity there. Her gaze landed on the large stone fireplace. Incongruously, she wondered why they had a fireplace. It never got cold enough to light a fire.

"Bella?" Alice said her friend's name like she was unsure, like she was expecting a slap.

Without looking up, Bella told them, "The night before I left, he tried to get me to have sex with him. I… I've never even let him put his hands up my shirt, and he wanted me to sleep with him in the back of his car. I told him I wasn't ready, and I thought he understood." She raised her head, and her eyes shifted from one of them to the other. "He couldn't even wait twelve hours?"

Alice started forward as though she would hug Bella, but Jasper stopped her. Bella was glad. She didn't want anyone touching her just now.

"Did you love him?" Jasper asked, his voice low.

Bella met his eyes. "No. No, I didn't." Of this, she was absolutely sure.

He nodded once. "Okay."

And they didn't speak of it again that night. The pizza came, and they put on the only movie that the three of them could always agree on, _Forrest Gump_. When Bella's mother finally came home, from her God-knows-where, Bella was able to smile, and laugh, and hug her properly, and ignore the tequila on her breath. She knew Jasper was watching her all night, and was glad when ten o'clock finally came so she could tell them both that she'd had a long flight, that she was jet-lagged, that she needed to sleep.

She padded down the hall to her room and sat on the bed, and for a moment just looked around. The walls were the same color they'd been when her parents bought the house eighteen years ago, but now they were covered in posters of bands and bulletin boards and pictures of Bella and her friends. There was her computer and her printer on the old, worn-out desk that her dad said he'd used in high school, power cords winding over the side and ending in plugs that lined up neatly in her power strip. Short bookcases lined the walls, ending just below the chair rail. Her dresser on the adjacent wall, a window between it and the next corner, where a green bean bag chair sat. Jasper and Bella used to pretend that the bean bag was their pirate ship, but they'd outgrown the game before Alice and her family had moved in across the street.

Because it was a corner bedroom, the wall next to that had a window too, this one a long narrow one parallel to the ceiling. Her bed was under it, a night table next to it. On the night table sat the last photograph that had been taken of her and her dad: Bella's twelfth birthday party, almost a month before he died. She knew that if he'd still been here, he would've told her to never date Chris in the first place. She sighed and got up, collecting her toiletries.

Only then, once she had showered and slipped on her old pajamas and crawled into her own bed for the first time in two weeks, only then did she allow herself to cry. Because even though she had not loved him, he had still managed to hurt her.

It did hurt. Nobody had to know. But it did.

**Hey, I just met you**

**And this is crazy**

**But here's a new story**

**So review for me maybe?**

**I know, I hate that song too. Just couldn't resist. Just so you know, Anam Gi is a Celtic phrase that means, roughly translated, "Faithful Soul." I saw them as being a division/subset/thing of the Irish Mafia.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again! Glad to see that most of you enjoyed the beginning of this one... but I do need to clarify a few things.**

**One, I'm pretty new at third person, so I'll slip up on occasion. I apologize in advance.**

**Two (and this is important), when I first published the first chapter, I accidentally referred to Jasper as Alice's boyfriend. Please note that, in this story, this is NOT the case - it's a holdover from an earlier draft. _JASPER AND ALICE ARE NOT IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP._I'm sure that my fellow authors will know the feeling of publishing something only to look at it six hours later and realized you screwed up. The error has since been fixed. The reason why Jasper and Alice can't be dating will be made clear in chapter three :)**

**Three... this whole story really needs to come with a TRIGGER WARNING. Not yet - the first trigger will appear around chapter six - but if you don't want to read a story that may disturb you, stop now. You'll be given an immediate warning in the chapters with triggers, of course.**

**Chapter Two**

Bella was really glad that she had the distraction of school setup to occupy her for the next two weeks. She didn't want to think about Chris, which she knew wasn't the most mature way of dealing with the problem. She didn't care. Ninety-five percent of her life was spent being mature. A break was nice once in a while.

She had been awake and dressed for all of five minutes the next morning, still with a headache from crying herself to sleep, when Alice burst into the house and ordered her to get her guitar. Bella wasn't worried about her waking Renee up, because she'll probably sleep through the Apocalypse if it happens after one of her late nights. Still, Bella raised her eyebrows at Alice. "Um …."

"We're late," she replied. "Marcus wants us there in fifteen minutes."

Bella almost choked on her coffee. "We have rehearsal today?"

"What, didn't we tell you?" Alice stared at Bella, then shrugged. "Oh, well. Let's get moving."

Marcus lived two blocks away, and on the way over Bella didn't talk to Alice, pretending to be irritated with her for neglecting to mention this yesterday. The latter's excuse – that she'd had something more important to tell about – had Bella glaring at her when they got out of the car in Marcus's driveway, Bella with her guitar and Alice with her bass, walking towards their shed.

'Shed' was actually too modest a word for it – Marcus's family had money, and for his fifteenth birthday his parents had turned the extra one-car garage in their backyard into as near a studio as the band was likely to get. It was soundproofed, and the interior walls were painted bright yellow with the name of the band – And See, She Flies – stenciled in purple over the door. In a circle was a full setup – Jasper's drum set, plug-ins for the keyboard, synchronizer, two electric guitars, a bass, and four microphones. There was a screen for the LCD monitor that was hooked up to one of the three computers, which were used mostly for mixing our audio and managing the website. Opposite that was a table containing a mini-refrigerator, a microwave, and a coffee maker, beside a lumpy god-awful futon. A couple of stools were scattered around for good measure.

The band was really Marcus's baby; he and Nick, the guitarist, had started it up halfway through their freshman year as a vehicle to get college money, the reasoning being that this way their parents wouldn't be solely responsible for their tuition, so they could major in whatever they wanted. Jasper, Alice, and Bella had been in eighth grade at the time, and Marcus had gotten them to join after staking out the middle school's band room for a week.

Shortly thereafter, they had started recording and writing our own music, with the aid of Apple's GarageBand software, and had spent the next couple of years getting themselves hired out to a few of the under-twenty-one clubs in the city and suburbs, as well as a couple private parties. It had been at one of these that a representative for a local alternative rock radio station had heard them, and three months into Bella's sophomore year they had been getting regular radio airplay in the Phoenix area.

It was at that point that the website had been born; people wanted news about the band and its activities, and they also wanted to start buying the songs (most of which were copyrighted, thanks to Marcus's father, who was a lawyer and their unofficial manager). So they set up a news wall, got blogs, and put up an iTunes-esque online store where they sold their songs for ninety-five cents a pop. Half the earnings – from the radio, shows, and website – went back into the band while the other half was split evenly between the five of the members. All they had to do was get their work permits renewed regularly.

Jasper, who was crouching down behind an amplifier picking through some of the wires, looked up when the girls entered and smiled carefully at Bella, like he was trying to figure out her mood. She rolled her eyes at him, and he laughed as he stood up. At six foot four, he was taller than the rest of the members, which was, they joked, the reason he was on drums. He had to sit down on stage.

Nick and Marcus came over and hugged Bella hello while Alice took her bass over to her setup. Even though Bella could tell that Marcus was happy to see her, she could also see that he was just itching to start rehearsal. After their quick hug, he glanced at Jasper and said, "Those ads you ordered showed up." He jerked his head towards a box in the corner, and Jasper nodded, pulled an Exacto-knife from a drawer in the beat-up old dresser, and split the box open. But just as he started to go through the flyers, Marcus said to the room at large, "Come on, people, warm-up. We got a show in two weeks."

Once everyone had shuffled over to his or her respective station, Marcus looked up. "Bella?" he asked. "You wanna pick?"

She smiled and closed her eyes, tossing around some titles in her head before saying, "Daisy."

"Awesome," said Nick. Jasper counted off with his drumsticks, and they began.

Once warm-up ended, the five of them started going through the set list Marcus had put up on the whiteboard, running it into the ground. Rehearsal went on and on, for more than three hours, before they were reasonably satisfied that they had something worth performing at their next shows. Marcus had them run through the set list one more time, and by then Bella was sure that her throat was about to give out.

"_I don't know how we got here and I don't know where we'll go next_…" she slowed her words with the change in dynamic that signaled the end of the song. "_But I don't care, so long as you're there, and you will stay with me._"

Marcus took the strap of his guitar and looped it up and over his neck and shoulder, glancing at the clock. "Okay, guys, that'll do it."

"Whew," Bella breathed, taking off her own guitar and heading to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. She sat down on the futon and Alice flopped next to her as Jasper sat on the floor beside them. Alice moved her legs to the side to give him room to lean back. Nick dragged a stool over to join them, but Marcus went over to the desk where the computers were and picked up a piece of paper. "Is that the show schedule?" Bella called.

"Yep." He picked up his own stool, set it in front of the other four, and began reading off the events. "September: club gigs on the fourth, seventh, sixteenth, and twenty-fifth. Private parties on the eleventh and nineteenth. A wedding on–" He was interrupted by a chorus of groans.

"Marcus, you know we hate stupid friggin' weddings." Nick glared.

"I hate weddings too," Marcus retorted. "But it's three hours at four hundred per. Also known as a lot of money."

"Did they give us a playlist?" Alice asked.

"No, just a couple of requests: first dance, father dance, last dance." He glanced down the list. "The only one we don't know is the father one… 'Easy Silence,' by the Dixie Chicks."

"I know that one," Bella interrupted. "Vocals and guitar."

"You know I meant that we as a band don't have the arrangement memorized. I'm sorry I booked us kind of full for the first month of school, but… it's college money, right?" He waited for the others to agree before adding, "And if Bella's got something for leadership or whatever going on, we can adjust. Jasper, you still up for stand-in vocals?"

"Sure."

"Cool. Well, I guess that's everything."

It may have been everything for them, but it was just the start of Bella's end-of-summer chaos. The next morning she had to be at school at seven, along with the rest of the leadership class, so they could start setting up for orientation week.

The campus of Santa Inez High School isn't all that big; it's designed to serve less than two thousand students, but although they'd hit overflow enrollment last year, it never felt crowded. It had been built in the sixties and you could tell; every single one of the buildings on the outdoor campus was a different shape. Bella sighed as she pulled into the parking lot the next morning, feeling a weird sense of homecoming. This school had given her something to focus on, a ticket to getting out of Phoenix and disappearing to college. She got out of her car and locked it before walking onto campus, her coffee in hand.

Alice said Bella had a caffeine addiction, but she just didn't understand.

She met up with the rest of the leadership staff in the student center (_sans_ the freshman class officers, who wouldn't be elected until the end of September) and the activities director fired off their to-do list. All of the textbooks had to be stacked according to subject in the library; locker assignments had to be ready; doughnuts had to be ordered for the two staff in-service days before the students' first day; the Hello Dance had to be planned; and it had to take place within the space of a week and a half.

All of this meant that Bella didn't have a chance to talk to Chris, not that she tried very hard to find one. She had always been nonconfrontational by nature, and she just didn't know how to break up with someone. When she came home late for the fifth time in a row that Friday night, wanting nothing more than to take a shower and then fall into bed, Alice was waiting for her in her room. Bella groaned.

"Well, that's one way to greet your best friend, I guess," Alice said with a raised eyebrow, and then pointed to Bella's desk chair. Bella sat, but avoided Alice's eyes.

"Break up with him." It was a command, issued in the way that only a true friend could get away with.

Bella sighed. "Alice, I don't have time to go see him right now."

"So pick up the damn phone and call him," she huffed. "It's not that hard."

"You're the one who's always saying that it's tacky to break up over the phone."

Alice picked up a pillow and threw it at Bella. "It's even more tacky to cheat on your girlfriend because, at the age of sixteen, she won't put out! God! He doesn't deserve consideration."

Bella hugged the pillow to her chest. He had called three times, and each of his voicemails was asking her when they could get together, because he missed her. Coward that she was, she hadn't responded to any of them, and she'd stayed off Facebook for that same reason. "Alice, I don't know how to do it," she whispered, looking past her out the window. "I've never… this is my first relationship, and I don't know how to break up with someone because I've never been broken up with."

Alice _harrumphed_ again before standing and digging through Bella's bag, turfing out a bottle of water, a pair of sunglasses, and a tampon before she came up with a cell phone. She handed it to Bella, glaring sternly. "Call him. Do it now."

"Alice…"

"Look," she said, softening, "if it makes you feel any better, I'll stay right here. Okay?"

"That's not the problem."

"Then what is?" she demanded. "Oh, God, please tell me you don't still have feelings for him. He's a dirty rotten cheating lying bastard, and if you tell me you still have feelings for him–"

"I don't," Bella cut her off. "At least, I don't think I do. We weren't together for very long anyway."

"Five months sure as hell ain't bad for sophomores in high school," Alice pointed out, fairly.

"What side, exactly, are you working for?"

Alice smiled, but still proffered the phone. Bella stared at it for a moment, then took it. "You'll stay here?" She was afraid, suddenly. Not of angering him, but of hurting him. Even after how he'd hurt her.

"Sure." Alice kneeled next to the chair and took her hand. Bella took a deep breath and dialed.

_Don't pick up don't pick up don't pick – _click. _Damn_.

"Bella!" It didn't really help that he actually sounded happy to talk to her.

"Hi, Chris. Um–"

"Hey, I was just about to call you. Can I come over? We could–"

Alice grimaced and Bella said, "Actually, I need to talk to you." She felt herself faltering.

"Sure! About what?" he asked, just a little to fast.

Bella felt Alice's nails dig into the skin of her hand, and she plunged ahead, "About a party that Jenny Miller had while I was out of town."

"Oh."

That was it. Bella didn't know what she'd been expecting, but it certainly wasn't just one syllable. For him to defend himself, maybe, or deny it. To apologize. But she got nothing.

"Chris… why?" Bella took her hand back from Alice and lowered her face into it. "Why?"

"Because you're never around, Bella," he snapped, abruptly angry; she felt herself recoil. "You're so busy being everybody's best friend that you don't ever have time for me. And when I ask you to show me that you love me–"

"But I don't!" she said, shocked into interrupting. "I've _never _told you that–"

"I've noticed. So whatever, Bella. I mean, God, you're so busy that we gotta do this over the phone instead of in person. Screw you."

Alice muttered something that sounded like, "you wish" under her breath, too low for the phone to pick up on.

But Bella had finally found her anger. "Then you should have told me that, Chris, instead of going behind my back. I deserve at least that much respect. We're done."

"Just as well." And he hung up on her.

Bella slowly lowered the phone to her lap and stared at it. She pushed the red button and felt a tear slip down her cheek, her fury gone as quickly as it had come.

"Oh, Bee." Alice wrapped her arms around Bella and pulled her down next to her on the floor. "He's not worth it, and you know that. Douchebag. I mean, God, did you hear him try to make it your fault that he cheated on you? Who _does_ that?"

"Yeah. I know." Bella wiped her eyes and straightened her spine. "I just… I knew it was going to end anyway, but I just didn't want to think it would be like this."

Alice shrugged, and Bella felt her arm move around her shoulders. "So you treat this as a learning experience. You take it with you, you grow up, and you pick better next time. I know you. You'll internalize this lesson."

"That makes it sound so clinical." Bella sniffled, but the tears had stopped. "But it's over now, right? I can stop thinking about it."

"Right." Alice smiled at her and brushed her hair back from her face. "And anyway, if having sex is anything like putting in a tampon, they can keep it." She waited for Bella to laugh before continuing, "You want to know what I think?"

"What do you think?"

"I think that this is your year. I think you're gonna find someone–"

Bella sighed. "Alice, you really don't need to make me feel better." She stood up. "Come on. Help me get dinner started?"

"Sure." Alice let Bella pull her up, and then she followed her down the hall into the kitchen.

Setup week passed in a blur, and before anyone could really catch their breath, it was Junior Registration Day, and Bella had to go be class president.

She left the house at 6:27 that morning, because she'd promised Matt, her vice president, that she'd give him a ride and he lived on the other side of town from her. When he plopped himself down into her passenger seat, still bleary-eyed, she asked, "Have you had any coffee?"

"Mmm… nope." He scrubbed at his forehead with his hand. "Is it that obvious?"

"Yep. If you've got money on you, we'll make a Starbucks run."

"Have I told you lately that I love you?"

Bella laughed but didn't answer, and he perked up slightly after getting a venti black coffee. They attracted a couple of bemused glances in Starbucks, given that they were wearing matching polo shirts. They were red, had the school's logo in the upper left corner, and the students' names and positions embroidered underneath in white, along with the school year. Bella's itched.

They, along with the class treasurer, secretary, and historian gathered in the Student Center, with the ASB president, vice president, and the rest of the cabinet. The senior and sophomore class officers only had to show up at their respective registration days, but They all had to be there for the freshmen.

"Okay, people, here's what's gonna happen," said their Activities Director, Mr. Whittier, his loud coach's voice preceding him into the room. "Bella and Sean, walk the lines, introducing yourselves to people, et cetera. Sean, let Bella do most of the talking. We know you're ASB president, but she's class president, so she'll have more to do with them.

"Vice presidents, both class and ASB," he continued, pointing at Matt and Trish, "at the front of the line directing traffic. Jake, Beki, Traci, and John in the library for textbook checkout. Brittany and Victor at ID photos. Jon and Cathy selling Hello Dance tickets. Jesse supervising the clubs, and Erin and Will outside the counseling office. Theoretically, we should end at twelve-thirty, but we probably won't get done until an hour after that. First people through the line at eight. Any questions?"

"Yes," said Trish, her hand shooting up. "Shouldn't I be walking the lines too?"

Whittier glared at her. "No, you and the class vice president are to sit at the front of the line, Trish. Like I just got done saying."

Trish scowled and Cathy leaned over to Bella and whispered, "Is this what we're in for? A year-long rivalry between the president and the veep?"

Bella raised her eyebrows and sighed as they all dispersed, with her, Matt, and Trish following Sean out to the front of the school. The red rope lines were already set up from yesterday, but no incoming juniors had arrived yet.

As was her habit whenever she was surrounded by people, Trish flipped her hair over her shoulder and immediately began to gossip – mainly talking about stuff Bella had missed while in Michigan. She tuned out her chatter, laughing when appropriate, groaning when required, but mostly not paying attention.

Slowly, three lines began to form: one for those who had morning sports practice (the priority line, since they had to get back to practice), one for the first half of the alphabet, and one for the second. Sean and Bella stood up from the table where Matt and Trish were sitting, and began to make their ways down the lines, saying hi to everyone, making small talk, whatever. That is, until Bella was ambushed by a bear in the center line.

"Oh my God," Bella gasped as she was seized around the waist from behind and swung around in the air. She heard a familiar roar of laugher from beneath her and shouted, "Emmett! Put me down!"

He was still laughing as he set her on her feet. She squinted as she looked up at his face; he was over a foot taller than she was. She punched him in the gut, knowing that she would hurt her hand more than she could ever hurt him. "I hate you, Emmett Cullen."

"Nah, you don't." He smiled and hugged her. He looked different from the last time she'd seen him, at an end-of-summer party their AP Psychology class had in mid-August, right before Renee and Bella had left. Now, his brown hair was buzzed for football season, and if it was possible, he'd filled out even more.

"Emmett, are you on steroids?" Bella asked him, and Alice, who was standing beside him with her softball glove still on her left hand, choked on a laugh.

"Yep," he replied cheerfully. "They're yummy. You should give 'em a shot."

"No, thank you," Bella replied, and turned to Alice. "Hey. Where's the rest of your team?"

"Back there somewhere," she motioned vaguely over her shoulder with the glove. "Emmett's more interesting to hang out with, though. And Jasper apparently hasn't been released from basketball yet."

Sean tapped Bella's arm. "I'm gonna go keep working the line, okay?"

"Sure. Thanks." Bella turned back to Emmett and asked, "How's Rosalie?" She knew that Emmett's girlfriend had been made captain of Varsity cheer, thus fulfilling the Prophecy of Mandatory High School Perfection after Emmett had been made a team captain for Varsity football. But Bella liked them both, despite any stereotypes they may have been reenacting. Rosalie and Bella had been friends ever since an AP Art History class Bella's freshman and Rosalie's sophomore year.

He smiled like he always did when her name came up – it was so cute. "She's good. Still having issues with her mom about where she's going to apply to college, though."

Bella shook her head. "That's too bad. Where she goes next year should be her choice." That reminded her. "How come you're here, anyway?" She looked from Emmett to Alice, who smiled a little. "Senior registration was yesterday."

"I've got a new little brother to show around. Dude, stop hiding," he added to someone over his shoulder, and Bella turned to see him drawing forward another guy. A tall, pale, slightly-more-than-a-little-beautiful guy with a reserved, almost wary, expression. "Bella, this is my new foster brother, Edward Masen. Edward, this is my friend Bella Swan, junior class president, as you can tell from the snazzy polo shirt."

"Hi!" Bella smiled and held out her hand toward Edward, trying to force down the blush that she could feel rising in her cheeks. Goodness. "Nice to meet you."

He nodded briefly and shook her hand once. "And you." His voice was deep but quiet.

"So…" She searched her mind frantically, looking for something to say. "So what do you play? I mean, you're in this line, so I guess you've got practice…." She shut herself up before she could start babbling.

"Cross country." He was looking at her straight on, which she tried not to find uncomfortable.

Alice interrupted. "Emmett said he dragged him to tryouts against his will, and Coach Brown let him on Varsity as a walk-on. How often does that happen?"

"Wow." Bella was impressed. She'd had that coach as her AP European History teacher sophomore year, and she knew him to be someone who took no prisoners. But (oh, Lord) she couldn't think of anything else to say.

Emmett could feel an awkward situation coming on, and tried to dispel it. Unfortunately, he picked the wrong topic. "So, Bella, how's Chris?"

Alice hissed and stood on his toe, and Bella flinched. He looked between the girls, his brow furrowing. "Did I just say something wrong?" he asked, confused.

Oh, no, Emmett would tell Rosalie, and then God and everyone would know that Bella's boyfriend had cheated on her. Well, she supposed it was going to come out anyway. "We broke up," she said by way of a quick explanation, and waved off his apology. "No big deal. Listen, I need to get going."

"Sure. Hey, we should do something this weekend," Emmett hurried to cover as she walked off, trying to be unaffected by the social awkwardness. "One last pool party of the summer. A kickback. I told Alice to tell Jasper, and I'll send out invites on Facebook."

"Sure." Bella waved and went to find Sean, introducing herself to people as she went. It was her job, after all, to represent something bigger than herself. She'd be damned if she let a bitter reminder get in the way of that.

"Emmett," groaned Alice as Bella disappeared down the line.

"What?" he asked. "I didn't know." Alice glared at him.

"You were at that party, and so was Rosalie," she snapped. "We all knew he cheated on her."

Emmett frowned, and Edward saw he was getting red in the face. "Oh. Yeah. But in my defense, Bella's really forgiving. She might've taken him back."

"True," Alice nodded, making a face. "I almost thought she would, too."

So that's what happened. Edward folded his arms across his chest and looked towards the front of the line, thinking about her. Small frame, straight dark brown hair, deep brown eyes… cute. Her jeans were too long, but that might've been on purpose so she could hide how she was wearing high heels so she could be taller. She was pretty, in a fresh sort of way, and nice too, Edward guessed, and she'd managed to keep her cool when Emmett had brought up what was clearly a sore subject. And kind enough to Edward himself, but she hadn't looked at him after asking him about sports.

He didn't know why it surprised him that his foster brother had friends outside his girlfriend. Edward stepped up to the front of the line and gave his name to the preppy guy sitting behind the table. The guy smiled, checked Edward's name against some list, and then pointed to another table, saying, "Have your emergency card and medical information ready there."

"Thanks," Edward muttered before following Alice, but he was still thinking about Bella. Why would anyone cheat on _her_? She was really pretty – she had a sweet smile, and he remembered way that one brown strand that had come loose from her ponytail had hung down to her barely-exposed collarbone.

Jesus. Who was he, and where was Tony? He shook his head in disgust.

"What's up with you?" Emmett asked him, dropping behind Alice.

"Nothing."

Emmett nodded once in understanding. "Bella?"

Edward shrugged. Was he really that easy to read?

"Bella Swan's that one girl that almost every guy falls in love with at least twice in high school," Emmett told Edward. "And she's never been aware of it. Chris was her first relationship, and they made it a really long time."

"Were you ever interested in her?" Edward asked automatically, then wanted to flinch. Wasn't his damn business.

"Nah. Well, maybe. Once. I had Rosalie, though. But Bella's always been a really good friend to me." He paused, and then his tone became serious. "She doesn't judge, Edward."

Edward shook him off. "It doesn't matter. I don't date."

Emmett regarded his new brother. "Although," he said slowly, like Edward hadn't said anything, "I don't think she's the only one you're worried about being judgmental, is she?"

Edward didn't say anything.

**It would be easy to stereotype Bella as that girl we all knew in high school - the sickeningly sweet one who was secretly a bitch. Hopefully you can see that's not the case here. It would also be easy to stereotype Edward as an asshole, but come on - he's really not.**

**In case anyone's curious, Jacob will not be making an appearance in this story, mostly because I think that Book Jacob is a sexual harassment charge waiting to happen. And while I appreciate the movies, they're not canon.**

**I hope I'm doing this story justice... review for me?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi! Still with me? I hope so.**

**So now it's time for school to start, and there's more Edward in this chapter than there was in the last one – I hope you enjoy**

~oOo~

**Chapter Three**

It could be worse.

That's what Edward told himself over and over as he sat on the edge of his bed at the Cullens' house on the first day of school. It could be worse. It could be some stick-up-your-ass private school that they wanted to send him to. There could be people from his old life at this school who would give him hell for turning into a whitewashed asshole.

And he could be back in the hospital recovering from a beating and a bunch of cuts.

Yeah, it could be worse.

_Just keep a low profile. Just a year, and then you'll be on your own._

He could do that.

He jumped when someone rapped on his closed door, then internally cursed himself. _Pussy_. "Hey," called Emmett's voice, "breakfast is ready. Hurry up before I eat it all."

Edward got up without talking and opened his door, but checked when he almost walked into Emmett. Emmett hadn't just delivered his message and left; he'd stayed to wait for Edward. With a smile and a jerk of his head, he motioned towards the stairs. He was wearing his red-and-silver football jersey, and he'd spiked his damn hair.

As they walked together – Emmett wasn't leading Edward, and he wasn't following; he was just next to him – Edward thought about how the whole family automatically assumed they could fix him. Esme even went of her way to include him in any of their 'family activities.' He didn't really care, but it was interesting. Especially since it would all wind up wasted effort.

Suddenly Emmett said, "Rosalie and I have seven classes each, so we've got zero periods."

"Yeah?" Edward replied, because he wasn't sure what he was supposed to say.

"Yeah. I pick her up around six forty-five every morning. That means," he continued as they started down the stairs, "that you are your own ride, and you get either the truck or the compact." He paused and glanced at Edward. "Your pick."

"You have two cars?"

"We have four," Emmett corrected. "Esme's, Carlisle's, my old one, and my truck. We were gonna sell my coupe, but then you came to live with us, so I asked Carlisle if we could keep it. He said sure, and I think we added you to the insurance." He turned to look at Edward. "So you can have either one. You got a valid license, right?"

"Yeah. And, uh… thanks. Whichever you don't want is fine." Edward wasn't sure if Emmett didn't like that he'd be using one of their cars. He felt like telling Emmett that if it was a pain in his ass, he just had to wait until Edward became too much for The Doctor and Esme and they sent him back to the system. He could stick it out a month.

But Edward decided not to say any of that, and it was just as well, because they reached the bottom of the stairs, where the smell of eggs, bacon, onions, and cheese reached them.

"There you are," said The Doctor – _Carlisle,_ Edward mentally kicked myself – and Edward looked up to see him smiling at the two boys. Maybe it was Edward's limited experience with this city, but it seemed like people in Phoenix smiled a lot. Probably all the Botox. "Come, sit down, both of you."

"And hey – where were you yesterday?" Emmett frowned as he gulped coffee. "We missed you at the kickback."

"Oh–" Edward shrugged. "I went running. I didn't know anyone there–"

"Yeah, I know that, and I was trying to fix it." He balled up his napkin and threw it at Edward, who blinked as it glanced off his forehead.

"Emmett," Esme scolded as she set a plate with an omelet and a slice of toast down in front of Edward. "Be nice." Edward knew her being here in the morning wouldn't last; the local community college where she taught gender studies didn't start its semester until next week, but when it did, she'd have to leave early to get ready for her 8:30 class.

"So," she said briskly, changing the subject, "are you riding together today?"

Edward looked up at Emmett sharply; hadn't he just told him about zero periods and shit?

"Yeah," said Emmett through a mouthful of egg. "Since zeros don't start until tomorrow–" _oh_ "–and we gotta get our schedules today, and I don't think there's after-school sports on the first day of school, we might as well. But we gotta get going so we're not late for Rosalie."

Edward kept eating in silence.

"Are you both finished?" asked Esme excitedly a couple minutes later, and to Edward's horror she pulled out a camera. He wasn't the only one; the camera got a groan from Emmett, but he sounded more joking than serious. "Oh, come on!" she smiled, taking Emmett's arm to pull him up. Even though he had at least a head on her, he went good-naturedly. "In front of the fireplace. Up, you," she added, grinning at Edward, and took his wrist to pull him over to Emmett. She slipped one arm around his waist and the other around Emmett's. Edward hadn't noticed how small she was before.

"Good!" said _Carlisle_, picking up the camera from where she'd left it on the table. "Now Edward, _smile_."

Edward forced a grin on his face and the flash clicked. "One more," Esme begged, and Carlisle nodded. Click.

"All right!" shouted Emmett. "Senior year. Just ten more months to go." He pumped his fist in the air as Carlisle scooped up a set of car keys from an end table and handed them to him.

"Yes, but you have at least another four years after that, for which you must pay a third," he pointed out. "I've already told you that we won't cover all of it – you're responsible for scholarships and loans. Or have you forgotten?"

"I'm not going to college," Emmett told him as all four of them walked through the backyard to the detached garage. "I'm gonna fill out a job application at the Home Depot."

"Which is of course why we spent almost three hundred fifty dollars on your AP exams over the last two years?" asked his father, his eyebrows raised.

"Yep." Emmett grinned, and Edward wondered if he was serious.

The garage door rose, and Edward stepped back as Emmett remotely unlocked a fifty-grand coupe. Jesus – fucking showoff. And it was parked between a huge red truck and Dr. Cullen's Beemer, on the other side of a shiny silver Infiniti. The only car Edward had seen so far had been Carlisle's. But there was over two hundred thousand dollars worth of car in that garage.

Esme hugged both of the boys; Edward hesitated a little when she got to him and was a second late returning it. "You both have a wonderful time today!" she said, stepping back with a smile. "I want to hear all about it this afternoon."

Emmett used the remote key thing to pop the trunk and slung his backpack in. Edward put his next to it. It bothered him a little to see his ratty old backpack up against Emmett's brand-new one, but he reminded himself that he hadn't wanted the Cullens spending money on him. It didn't matter.

Still, though, he was glad that his scars and tats were covered up by his clothes.

He decided to sit in the back seat because when Emmett picked up Rosalie, he was sure they'd both want her in the front. And sure enough, when they pulled up to her house, Emmett tapped the horn once and got out, going around the car to open her door for her. Rosalie was in her cheerleading uniform, and Edward thought the two of them looked just so damn fake as she settled herself in the front passenger seat. She glanced at the rearview mirror to fix her makeup, and saw Edward's reflection.

"Hi, Edward," she smiled as Emmett got back in and started the car.

"Hey," he muttered, looking out the window again.

The damn coupe made it feel like Edward's ass was literally sitting on the road. The other two spent the whole trip talking about teachers and classes and schedules and shit like that. Edward sat there, not saying anything, trying really hard not to be nervous.

_It could be worse._

When Emmett pulled into the student parking lot, Edward had a really hard time believing they were at a high school. As Emmett crawled up and down the aisles looking for a spot, Edward counted off luxury brands in his head: _Lexus… Mercedes… Infiniti… Is that an Escalade? What high school kid needs an SUV that seats ten?_

This year was gonna be fun, he could tell.

Emmett found an open spot next to what looked like a beat-up '65 Ford convertible, and pulled in as Rosalie said, "Alice really needs to trade in her POS car."

"Why?" Emmett asked, surprised. "I've always liked her car."

Alice… the name sounded familiar. "The girl from registration?" Edward blurted out.

"Yeah," Emmett told him. "Her brother Riley's a good friend of mine. She's Bella Swan's best friend or something, too – they were both at the kickback yesterday." He shot Edward a look he ignored. Whatever.

They all got out, but once they got their bags from the trunk, Emmett put his hand on Edward's shoulder and pulled him back as bunch of cheerleaders, in matching red-and-silver uniforms, rushed up to Rosalie and started squealing. "Can I ask you something?" he muttered, waving Rosalie off when she turned around to look for where he'd gone. The guys followed her and her newly-formed posse, but not close.

"Sure." Edward looked up at him, but Emmett kept his eyes straight ahead.

"What's your issue with Bella? Not even Bella, but new people in general."

"Look," Edward snapped; he'd been waiting for someone to pull him into this argument. "I barely know you, any of you. Either I can trust you or I can't. I figure it's safest for me to assume–"

Now Emmett looked at Edward, his eyes wide under his eyebrows like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Are you kidding me? You know that's a shit way to live your life, right?"

"Emmett, you don't know me–"

"And whose fault is that?" he demanded, suddenly pissed. "We've been living in the same house for a week now, and this is the first actual conversation we've had."

Edward opened his mouth, and then closed it, noticing something. Emmett was actually hurt. God knew why, though – it's not like it really mattered. "Sorry," Edward told him, surprised into honesty, and interested by how he actually _was_ sorry. "It won't… I'll try to do better. Okay?"

Emmett studied his new brother. "Okay," he finally replied, grinning at him a little. "You didn't have it easy before you came to us – I get it. I've been there." He nudged Edward's arm, and they started walking faster. Edward realized then he didn't know how Emmett got in foster care himself.

As they got closer to the edge of the parking lot, Emmett and Rosalie kept being stopped by people saying hello, and they introduced Edward to everyone. Emmett looked at him sympathetically. "It was this way for me, too," he whispered, "when I first came to live here. Everyone wanted to be friendly." Edward half-smiled… and managed to be distracted for long enough to walk into someone, knocking her bag off her shoulder.

"Jesus, I'm sorry," he said automatically, kneeling down next to her to pick up everything that fell out of her bag.

"Oh, it's okay," she said, taking a notebook out of his hand, and he paused, recognizing her voice. He looked up to Bella Swan's eyes. She smelled like coffee, but not in a bad way.

Glad of an excuse to look down, Edward kept picking up her stuff, stacking a pencil case and a binder, trying to come up with stuff to say. He was glad when Emmett saved him.

"Good job, Edward," he said loudly as he bent to help Bella up. "If you wanted to talk to her, there's easier ways."

"Thanks, Emmett," Edward grumbled as they all stood.

"No problem," Emmett said, either missing the sarcasm or ignoring it. He looked around at the two people with Bella and added, "By the way, you already know Alice" – the black-haired girl smiled big and waved at Edward – "but here's someone you would have met if you'd shown your face at the kickback: Jasper Whitlock, who happens to play basketball with Alice's brother Riley." A blond guy taller than Edward, almost as tall as Emmett, but way skinnier, nodded once. Bella dusted herself off and self-consciously raised her hand to her smooth brown hair. Jesus, did she really feel like she had to fix it? It looked fine anyway.

"Jasper," Emmett continued, "this is my new foster brother, Edward Masen. He's very pleased to meet you, even if he doesn't believe in talking."

Alice hid a laugh behind a cough.

"I'm sorry," Edward stuttered, and flinched internally. He felt like a damn broken record with all these apologies. "Nice to meet you." Jasper held out a hand and Edward shook it.

"And you." Edward noticed that Jasper only had one strap of his backpack on, a hand resting on it, and he tucked his other hand into his pocket. It was so posed. _Aren't you cool_.

"Speaking of Riley…" Bella interrupted, staring around. "Did anyone see where he got to?"

"Oh, he's right over…" Alice glanced around and then pointed. "There."

A guy who looked a lot like Alice, down to the freckles, pushed through the crowd, grinning and saying, "Sorry, guys. Saw somebody I had to say hi to." Edward glanced away, but looked back when Riley talked to him. "Hey, Edward. You are Edward, right? Alice told me about you."

"Uh, yeah. Hey." Riley held out his hand to Edward too. These weren't handshakes like Edward was used to – these were the things that rich adult people gave each other at business meetings.

"Where were you during the kickback?" Riley asked Edward now.

Rosalie, who'd been talking to one of her cheerleader friends, met back up with the group before Edward had to answer. "Guys, we need to get in line." She jerked her head over to where several tables were set up in front of what Edward figured was the gym. "First period starts in half an hour."

That got everyone's attention, and the girls, Riley, and Emmett each headed off in a different direction (but Edward saw another girl meet up with Bella, and Bella hugged her, smiling). "Hey," said a voice, and he looked up to see Jasper standing in front of him. "You're a junior?"

"Yeah," Edward answered, suspicious for some reason.

Jasper nodded and smiled (Jesus, again with the smiling). "Then we're in the same line." He walked forward like he expected Edward to follow. Edward figured he could use the help in finding his way around, and he knew better than to turn down free help, so he went after him.

He worried for a minute about not knowing what to say – it'd be rude, if nothing else, to ignore this guy after he'd knocked his friend's bag down – but Jasper opened his mouth first. "So I was kind of expecting to meet you yesterday – Bella said the Cullens had a new foster kid, and she'd already met you at registration."

Bella had talked about him? "Uh, yeah." Edward looked straight ahead, trying not to look uncomfortable. "I'm not good with new people."

Jasper nodded. "I get that. But you went out for cross country, right? That's cool."

"Only because Emmett made me."

"So you didn't run before?"

Edward shrugged. "It's always been how I liked to work out, but I wasn't on the team at my old school." He didn't mention that, at his old school, he'd been too busy making drug deliveries and trying not to get shot to do any sports.

"Still, though," Jasper said as they joined the back of one of the lines.

"Wait," Edward said, realizing something. "How'd you know I'm in cross country?"

"Dude, you're news," Jasper laughed. "Brown letting a walk-on into Varsity? That's, like, never happened. Bella told me after registration, and Emmett told me again at the kickback. You're a big deal."

Edward frowned. He did not want to be a big deal.

Jasper reached the front of the line and slipped his ID card onto the table. The fat PTA lady on the other side of it checked his name and flipped through the box of schedules in front of her, eventually handing him one. He took it and moved off to the side, waiting for Edward.

These people were weird – Edward had known Jasper for less than five minutes and already he felt like he had to wait for him. Edward pulled out his card like Jasper had done, and got his own schedule. He glanced down at it and groaned. AP chemistry, US history, and English, along with honors physiology and pre-calculus.

He barely had time to see that before Jasper took his schedule and compared it to his own. "Cool, we've got English together," he told Edward, just as Alice fought her way through the crowd over to them.

"Gimmie," she snapped, seizing Jasper's schedule. "Oh damn, they didn't put us in calc together." She looked up at Edward. "I never would've gotten my B in pre-calc if it hadn't been for him," she told him like he cared, before going back to the schedules. "But we've got Honors Physics along with AP Spanish and English."

"Edward's in that class," Jasper said, grinning at him. "Is your physics a zero?" he asked her now.

"Yeah. So's yours, I see. It's inhumane, making an academic class a zero. Not fair."

"Get over yourself, drama queen." He reached out and she ducked before he could mess up her hair. Edward wondered what was going on between them. "But it looks like you and Edward have APUSH together."

"Apush?" Edward asked, confused.

Alice explained. "Advanced Placement United States History. A-P-U-S-H." She shrugged. "The acronym's easier to say, but you don't see anybody calling AP English Language and Composition APELAC. Don't bother trying to figure it out – it'll just give you a headache. Bella!" she suddenly shouted, waving her arm over her head.

Edward throat tightened. What, just because he was new, Alice thought he shouldn't bother trying to work out their retarded nickname system? He realized he was holding his breath as Bella fought her way over to the circle they'd made. "Sixth period English," she said proudly. "That's always the smallest class, isn't it? Because everyone's in athletics?"

"Yep. Glad that I, as an athlete, could do my part to make your schedule more bearable," Alice replied, and held Bella's schedule up to compare them. Without making it obvious, Edward read over her shoulder.

Damn. AP sections of chemistry, Spanish, US history, English, and calculus, along with honors physics and leadership. Jasper noticed too, and he let out a low whistle. "You working hard enough, Bella?"

"No. I could have taken honors physics online, and signed up for AP Environmental Science as a campus class instead."

Edward looked at her for some trace of humor, but she was completely serious. Jesus. Was being perfect so damn important to her? What white girl takes AP Spanish?

Jasper rolled his eyes, but Alice said, "Jasper, this is, after all, the girl who took two AP classes as a frosh."

"Right. Forgot about that. And Bella, we've got calc together. We already knew that the three of us would be in the same Spanish class, since there's only one AP section. And aren't there only two sections of AP chemistry?"

"Yeah."

"Well, if Edward isn't in our class, he's got to be in Bella's."

Bella looked up at him. "First period?"

"Uh." Edward glanced back down at his schedule, even though he didn't need the reminder. "Uh, yeah."

"Oh, good," she looked relieved. "I'll have someone to help me. I'm horrible at chemistry–"

"'Horrible' here having the meaning of, 'I almost got down to a B-plus in honors," Alice added, rolling her eyes. "Bella, shut up, you couldn't be horrible at anything if you tried." Bella blushed and looked away, biting her lower lip as she did. Edward managed not to snort.

"Hey, kids," said another girl's voice, and Edward looked around to see Rosalie and one of her cheerleader friends meeting up with their group. The other cheerleader, this one Latina, was staring up at Edward; he shifted and looked away. Thank God a second later she said she saw another friend and disappeared after hugging Rosalie goodbye, like they were gonna be apart for days. Rosalie didn't look impressed, just nodding as the other girl disappeared.

Without a second glance, she looked back at all of them and asked, "Anything interesting? I think the only overlapping class that any of us have is calc, right? Because you're nerd juniors? I have it fifth."

"Me too," said Jasper and Bella at the same time, before glancing at each other, amused. Bella continued, "But if you're going to call me a nerd, I'm not going to help you." Rosalie made a face at her.

Bella laughed and kept looking at everyone else's schedules. She frowned at Jasper and Alice's. "Figures. You two have physics together and I've got it fourth."

_Poor you_, Edward thought, irritated. If that was the worst she ever had to live through, she could just count her damn blessings, couldn't she?

"Oh," said Jasper, staring over the girls' heads like he wasn't really part of the conversation. "Maria!"

Edward turned in the direction Jasper was looking and saw a dark, curvy girl with long black hair look up and wave, then turn away as the guy with her wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Alice exhaled loudly as Jasper kind of deflated.

"She has a boyfriend?" he asked, his voice a lot quieter than it had been a second ago.

Bella and Alice looked at each other. "Is this the part where we pretend like nothing happened and hurry to class?" Alice stage-whispered.

Bella rolled her eyes. "And your middle name is 'tact,'" she snapped, not bothering to lower her voice. "Jasper, it's okay. High school relationships aren't forever."

"You should've asked her out when you had the–"

"Alice," Bella interrupted, and the glare she gave her friend seemed really out of place on her soft features. Alice shrugged, but fell silent. Bella glanced quickly up at Edward, like she was worried about what he was thinking. He looked away, over the crowd, wondering where Emmett was. Why should Bella think he'd care about this? He didn't even know Jasper.

"Um," said Rosalie, and Edward could almost hear her brain working to find a new subject. "We should probably get to class. I'm headed for AP Bio – is anyone else going that way?"

"I guess we are," Bella said, looking at Edward. "Chem's in that same building. Jasper?"

"APUSH." He busied himself with putting his ID card away so he wouldn't have to look at any of the others. For somebody so tall, he was doing a good job of making himself unnoticeable.

"And I'm going to calc." Alice rolled her eyes. "See you all later."

"Yeah," nodded Bella, surreptitiously squeezing Jasper's hand. "See you."

She and Rosalie walked toward the corner of campus; Edward followed them, looking back once to see Alice whispering something to Jasper and him nodding. He turned and overheard Bella and Rosalie talking about Jasper and the girl, Maria.

"I didn't even know that he liked her," Rosalie was saying, surprised.

Bella sighed. "He's had it bad for her since freshman year. And what sucks is that he's had more than a couple of opportunities to ask her out, and he just… hasn't."

Rosalie made an oh-that's-too-bad face as Edward caught them. This school was a lot smaller than his school in Tucson, and there was also just something different about the students – most of them reeked of money and privilege. This wasn't a place he'd ever belong at, he was sure.

"Oh, no," Bella said suddenly, handing her binder to Rosalie and frantically digging around in her bag.

"What's wrong?" Rosalie asked, moving closer to her. "Did you forget something?"

"No." But Bella kept her head down.

"Then what–" Rosalie looked around, and her whole face changed, hardened. "Ah. Cheating ex-boyfriend at four o'clock."

Interested, Edward followed her gaze, wanting to see the guy with a dick so big he'd cheat on Miss Perfect. "Plaid shirt, bleached hair?" he asked, and Rosalie scowled, which he guessed meant 'yes.'

The guy was standing, hands in his pockets, in the middle of a group of other fake people, including a bunch of girls. He shot Bella one scornful look and made a big show of turning his back, so everyone saw him dis her.

"Thinks he's hot shit, doesn't he?" Edward said, forgetting for a second that Bella had dated this asshole, had once cared about him, and Edward might hurt her. Well, too bad. He pissed Edward off.

"The hair's new," Rosalie told him, disgusted. "Probably wanted to make himself over so we wouldn't think he actually felt bad about screwing with someone else while his girlfriend was visiting her family."

"Okay, new subject now," Bella said, taking her binder back and walking to the science building. Her face was bright red.

Rosalie caught up with her, and Edward thought she was about to apologize, but the bell rang. She hugged Bella and then, before he could get ready for it, him too. "Good luck!" she whispered.

"Thanks," he muttered, and she waved and disappeared into a classroom in front of a bunch of other people.

"Shall we go in?" Bella asked him, gesturing towards another open door, through which other students were already passing. Edward shrugged and let her lead him into class.

He had to make a concentrated effort of not noticing how cute her little ass was. Dammit.

That was not really what Bella needed on my first day of school, she fumed quietly. To be publicly snubbed by her ex-boyfriend right in front of Edward Masen. Wonderful. As far as omens went, she didn't really see how it could get any worse. She sighed and Edward looked at her. She avoided his eyes as they entered the classroom.

Bella had had Miss Somerset last year for honors chem, and she'd been one of her favorite teachers – her style was really straightforward and organized. Bella got the feeling that she'd appreciate some order first period if she was to have leadership for her zero period class.

She figured that, since he was new, Edward wouldn't really know anyone and might be grateful of a friendly face, even one belonging to someone who could barely form a coherent sentence around him. "Be my lab partner?" she asked, forcing a smile. And then she blushed, because what if asking him that was tacky?

But he said, "Sure," and she thought he almost smiled.

"Great," she said, trying not to sound too bright, and before she could make an even bigger fool of herself, she led him through the crowded room to her old lab table and set her bag down. She turned back to Edward, even though she had no idea what to say, but just then she was set upon by some friends, a couple of whom had been at Emmett's kickback yesterday. She hugged them all as Edward set his stuff down beside hers, before introducing him.

"Guys, this is Edward Masen – he's new here. Edward, this is Megan, Nicole, Brandon, and Cheyenne – not that you have to remember all their names or anything," she added, and then mentally kicked herself. What if he thought she was insulting his ability to remember? And why was she suddenly second-guessing everything?

From the corner of her eye, she saw his gaze drift to the cover of her binder, where a little drawing of an otter that Alice had made for her in eighth grade was frolicking. Blushing, Bella shifted her hand to cover it.

"Take your seats," called out Miss Somerset from the front of the room, and Bella's four friends scrambled off to find places. "My name is Miss Somerset, and welcome to AP Chemistry. I know I had most of you last year in honors, but you'll have to bear with me for the lesson plan and suchlike. Get your schedules out; I'm going to come around and sign them and fill in the seating chart. Feel free to talk amongst yourselves until I'm done."

As chatter broke out around them, Bella faced Edward, still not knowing what to say, but feeling like she should say _something_. The sleeve of his T-shirt rode up a little, and she thought she saw a scar. She glanced away when he turned back to her and asked hastily, "So, um, is this your first AP class?" she asked, figuring it was a reasonable question, since Santa Inez students had heard things about the academic program of the Tucson school district, and none of it was really all that complimentary.

"Yeah, but I'm good at science." He smirked. "Don't worry, I won't bring down your GPA."

"That's not what I meant," she said, aghast. "Really. I was just curious."

"Yeah, well," he muttered, looking away from her as she scrambled around for something else to say, to fix whatever she'd done wrong. Then Edward grimaced. "Sorry," he said, his voice low. "That was… I was an asshole."

"No, no, it's fine," Bella hurried to reassure him. "I just…" she made myself shut up before she could make it worse.

"Yeah, it's my first AP class," he repeated, meeting my eyes; she could tell he was trying again. "My old school didn't really _challenge_ its students. But Esme – my foster mom – thinks my transcripts prove I can handle challenging coursework."

She felt a small smile lift the corners of her mouth. "That sounds verbatim."

"It is. Right out of the argument we had."

"Ah," Bella said, as Miss Somerset signed their schedules, wrote their names down on her seating chart, and moved on. Bella noticed that she and Edward didn't have any other classes together, although he was also taking APUSH and AP English Language/Comp. So, he didn't want to be here. "Well, I'm sure you'll do fine. It's all about studying."

"Yeah." He looked down at the desk. "That's what everybody keeps saying. Like I don't know that." Suddenly he sounded bitter.

"Um, what–"

"Look, Bella, you seem nice and everything, but you don't have to talk to me like I'm five," he snapped without really looking at her; it was as if a wall had come up, breaking whatever tentative conversation they were managing. "I'm fine."

"Edward, I–"

"Just forget it."

And that was all he said to her that day. He looked straight at the chalkboard as Miss Somerset took the class through her syllabus and talked about the AP exam. When the bell rang, he left without saying goodbye.

Bella tried to be upbeat for the rest of the day; it was expected of her as class president. She kept smiling, saying hi to everyone, sat up in class. Her act was so good that even Jasper didn't pick up on how much Edward had bothered her when she saw him in Spanish and again in Calc. After school, she remembered to run by the leadership room and grab a calendar of all her functions.

And why _did_ Edward bother her so much? She didn't know him; he wasn't anything to her. She'd barely met him; he was just her lab partner, who was the foster brother of one of her friends. And he just happened to be really good-looking.

Bella shook her head in disgust as she drove home at the end of the day. Was that it? Did he fluster her so much just because he was _pretty_? Hmm. She'd thought she was better than that.

It didn't matter. She'd never have to be alone with him; if and when she ever saw him outside of school, it'd probably be within a big group of people, and she could easily avoid him. As far as chem went, they could maintain a degree of academic professionalism. It didn't matter if he didn't like her. They could work together without bothering each other.

She guided her car into the garage and killed the engine, before slumping in her seat.

God, it was going to be a long year.

~oOo~

**Oh, dear. But the real world is like that – you don't just suddenly love somebody. I understand that some high school girls are, but I wasn't. and Edward is scared right now – even if he won't admit it. Give them time, please?**

**And then Maria. Yes, there is a Maria. Sorry.**

**I hope you're still enjoying this, and if you're following "Everything's On Fire," you'll be delighted to know that chapter 3 is FINALLY with the dearly beloved beta reader JenRar and pre-reader Drotuno.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

"Congratulations, guys. We made it through Day One!" Sean shouted, and cheers erupted through the leadership room. He grinned and waited for it to die down before adding, "And we've only got one hundred seventy-nine to go."

Bella laughed and took a sip of her coffee. On Sean's left, Trish sat forward, her eyes bright. "How'd it go for everyone yesterday?"

Leanne, the senior class president, shrugged. "Okay. But there are already the usual rumors circulating through the freshman class –"

"There should be a rule," Kate interrupted, flipping her hair over her shoulders. "Sophomores need to be gagged for the first few days of school so all the frosh don't run screaming for the hills."

"And," continued Trish, glaring at Leanne like it was her fault she'd had to give a bad report, "somebody already asked me when the freshman class elections were going to be held. She was texting while she did it, by the way."

"Was she wearing excessive amounts of eye makeup?" Keith asked.

"Yeah. Why?"

He nodded, looking satisfied. "Queen bee. Wants a popularity contest, and that's it."

"Well, of course." Leanne looked at him like he was crazy. "Freshman class elections are only about popularity. I think we all know that by now. It's how I won."

"Then," Bella allowed. "But I highly doubt you won senior class just by being popular."

"No, I won it because I've won every class presidency since then, and old habits die hard."

"Anyway," Bella went on, turning to Keith. "I think you're judging. You can't peg everyone by stereotype."

"Mr. Whittier, are we doing anything today?" Trish asked loudly, leaning her chair back on two legs so she could see into his office. Bella guessed she got bored with a conversation that was turning moralistic.

"Yeah," he called back. "Go around campus and make sure that the posters of the campus maps are still up, with all those 'You Are Here' stickers. And then I printed out the budget for you – go over it. There's a student senate meeting coming up, and I want you people to put together some sort of list of talking points."

Trish grumbled and let her chair fall back with a crash.

Bella looked up at Traci, the SACBE – which, she'd learned during elections last year, stood for Student Advisory Council to the Board of Education – whose job it was to attend every meeting of the school board and then come back to the school and report. "When's the next board meeting?"

"Next week," she answered. "They're talking budget cuts again."

Bella sighed. "Isn't it bad enough that we have forty people in each class because they keep firing younger teachers?"

"Apparently not."

Whittier cut off this depressing conversation by shouting, "Why do I not hear anyone leaving to check posters?"

"Because we're going right now?" Sean replied sheepishly. Bella sighed and got up, following everyone else to the door. "Go in pairs," he told the others, before taking off with Brittany.

Cathy, the commissioner of clubs, and Bella turned and headed in the opposite direction. One of the security guards whizzed past them in his little golf cart. "Cathy, you were in ASB last year, right?"

"Mm-hm. Soph class president. Why?"

"So… is Whittier always that disengaged?" As she asked the question, she glanced over my shoulder, worried that he could somehow hear her.

Cathy shrugged. "Yeah. I mean, on one hand, it kind of feels good to know he trusts us that much. On the other, it's kind of like…. We don't know what we're doing sometimes. And we don't want to learn at the expense of anyone else. He's got tenure, though. What does he care?"

Bella laughed, a little uneasily. "Mutinous."

"Get used to it."

There was absolutely no activity on campus, unless you counted a couple of stoners who'd ditched zero period to make out in the amphitheater.

Bella glanced at Cathy again, who was texting somebody. "Is it always this quiet?"

"The campus during zero period or leadership in general?"

"Either. Both."

She shook her head as she put the phone back in her pocket. "No and no. Enjoy this while it lasts, because once we get to Homecoming you won't remember what sleep feels like. Oh, wait. I forgot who I was talking to. You already don't remember what sleep feels like, don't you?"

"I seem to recall something about leaving spots of drool on a pillow."

Cathy smiled, and they kept strolling around campus, pretending to be productive. As they walked around, checking up on the posters, the campus filled. It was interesting, the way the noise level increased.

They decided to go back to the student center about five minutes before the bell rang, and, since Whittier wasn't paying attention, they slipped back out early to go to their lockers. Just as Bella reached hers, the bell rang for the end of zero. She was entering her combination when Alice caught up to her.

"Hi. What're we doing in physics?" Bella tucked her chem stuff into her bag and secured her Spanish book in my arms.

Alice waved her hand impatiently. "Just notes. Second day of school and they're already giving us notes. Listen, was that thing for APUSH due today?"

"No. Thursday."

Alice exhaled, tilted her face to the sun, and raised her hands as if this was the most blessed piece of information that she had ever received. Bella couldn't resist. "But that essay we have for English is due today."

"Essay?" she panicked, looking at Bella with her blue eyes wide and frantic. "What essay? I don't remember an essay!"

"Oh, yeah," Bella said, making sure to keep her face straight. "A thousand words on why we chose to take her class, where we think we want to go to college, what we think we're going to major in–" And she couldn't hold it anymore. She burst out laughing at Alice's expression. When she realized Bella had been joking, she hefted her binder in two hands and whacked Bella's shoulder. Repeatedly.

"That wasn't funny!"

"It was incredibly funny." Bella lifted an arm in defense, gasping. "You should've seen your face."

"Apologize!"

"No." Bella looked around. "Where's Jasper?"

At once Alice calmed, her eyes turning serious. "He found an excuse to talk to Maria without The Boyfriend present."

Bella grimaced. "Uh-oh."

Alice's eyebrows raised and her lips pursed. "Yep." The letter 'p' popped off her lips. She sighed before changing the subject. "So it turns out that my dear brother is in my calc class."

"Really? That's cool. You'll have someone to help you, then." Everybody knew that Riley was brilliant. His plan was to apply to Cornell early decision, and Bella for one would be astounded if he didn't get in.

"Yeah. Oh, speaking of classmates," she added, nodding towards the student parking log. Bella followed her gaze and saw, through the crowd, Edward Masen entering campus alone. "How's your lab partner?"

Bella exhaled slowly, remembering his cold stare. "Um. I think he was having a bad day yesterday."

Alice raised her eyebrows. "Is that Bella-speak for, 'he's an asshole'?"

"He's not an asshole," she said, unconsciously lowering her voice. "He was just… this can't be easy for him. You know, new place, new family, new… everything. And I was acting kind of stupid around him anyway."

Alice rolled her eyes as the bell rang. "Why are you determined to give everyone the benefit of the doubt?"

"What's my alternative?" Bella retorted. "Always assume the worst of people?"

She was glad that the tide of students heading to first period swept Alice away before she could answer.

But despite what Bella had told Alice, and what she'd resolved yesterday, she was nervous as she walked towards chem. Almost without trying to, she reviewed every word Edward had spoken in her presence, whether directed to her or not. He hadn't been impressed by Chris's posturing, but then who would be? It had probably been more of some testosterone-fueled pride thing than any desire to defend her. And admittedly, when she had said something that bothered him the first time during their conversation yesterday, and he'd snapped at her, he'd quickly apologized, and it seemed like he really felt bad about it. But later…. Bella shook her head at the memory.

Unbidden, a wave of sympathy washed over her as she walked into class and took her seat at their as-yet empty lab table. How hard his life must have been, if all he knew was to interpret an innocent remark as insult. It really was no wonder that he'd replied the way he had.

Either that, or Alice was right and he was just an asshole.

But no, Bella thought, as the classroom filled around her. She didn't really believe that. Rosalie clearly liked him – and she was a pretty good judge of character. And notoriously hard to please.

Bella leaned over to extract her text and notebook from her bag, and as she did, she heard the scraping of metal on linoleum that meant that he had arrived and was pulling his stool back to sit down. She took a deep breath, mentally told herself not to be a coward, and sat up to face him.

Edward waited a second before sitting down next to her, wondering if she was gonna give him crap again like she had yesterday. He hoped not – he really didn't want to deal with that.

He put his pack down and she looked at him with something in her eyes he'd never really seen in a girl – it took him a minute to realize that she was nervous, almost scared of him.

He had scared her.

That set Edward back a minute. Any of the girls from his past would have toughened, shrugged, cussed – anything but admit to any vulnerability. Because that was the way you survived. You didn't show weakness, and you sure as hell didn't show fear. But that kind of girl worked for Edward – he didn't want somebody with emotions, because if you gave your emotions any strength they always came back to bite you in the ass. He liked girls with no tear ducts.

So why was this girl – this soft, weak girl next to him with fear in her eyes – why was she making him feel more guilty and ashamed of himself than anyone else'd ever managed? _What the hell?_

He opened his mouth to say sorry and he don't know what else, but Miss Somerset stood up at the front of the room. Immediately, with discipline Edward guessed came from years of practice, Bella faced front and held her pen over her paper, ready to take notes.

The lesson was pretty basic – a review of polyatomic ions that even Edward could follow. Hell, if this was as hard as it ever got, he might just survive.

Eventually, Miss Somerset finished the lecture and shut off her overhead before flipping on the overhead lights again. "You have about ten minutes until the end of the period to work on your homework. If you don't have your book, share with the person next to you, but don't be moving seats all over the room. And you can talk, but remember, there are classes in session on either side of us."

A low hum of voices started up through the room, slowly getting louder, as Bella opened up her textbook without looking at Edward. He took a deep breath, but then realized how stupid that was. It wasn't like she could hurt him.

"Bella?" he asked. He didn't want to make her more nervous. She looked up at him slowly, but her expression was guarded now – he couldn't read her face anymore. "I'm sorry," he told her.

She relaxed a little, putting her pen down and sitting back. "It's okay," she said, studying him now, like she was trying to figure him out. "You were having a bad day, weren't you?" She paused and sort of tilted her head to the side. "I mean, you're new, right? To everything. I'll bet it's not easy being you right now."

Edward laughed once, without humor, and she looked at him curiously. _Not easy being me right now_… if she only knew. Edward tried not to remember.

But he'd been quiet for too long. He had to answer her. "I guess not," he muttered, looking away.

She shifted so her whole body was facing him now, and he glanced back up at her face. Her expression changed now, understanding: it was like he'd just proven a theory of hers or something. "What?" he asked, maybe a little harsher than was necessary.

"Nothing." She hesitated, then asked, "Is there anything that you miss about Tucson?"

Edward laughed again at that. His whole life there'd been getting shot at and drug runs and girls throwing themselves at him and constant suspicion for not sticking a fucking needle in my arm.

"What's funny?" Bella asked, smiling.

"Nothing," he told her. "I hated Tucson. Everything about it. I mean–" But he cut himself off. If she heard even half of his problems, she'd probably never talk to him again. And it wasn't like he really liked thinking about half of what had happened in Tucson. "I don't miss anything about Tucson, just like I don't miss anything about Flagstaff, or Mesa, and I barely remember Tempe or anything before it."

Bella looked shocked. "How long – how long have you been in foster care? I mean, if you want to tell me," she hurried to add, like she was worried she'd bother him.

Edward shrugged. "Since I was about four." That was when his birth mother got arrested for possession for the fourth time, if his paperwork was right. "I've been moved around a lot since then, and most of my foster families were okay; it's just they needed the money more than they wanted a kid to take care of." Bella put her hand over her mouth, and goddamn, Edward could see pity starting in her eyes. He fucking hated pity. "But it doesn't matter," he went on. "I turn eighteen next summer, so I just got one more year of this."

"Wait, what?" she interrupted, her eyes wide. "You're just going to… what, drop out?" She said the words like they sounded weird to her, which they probably did.

"I don't know," he replied, secretly enjoying her surprise. "I thought about the military, but I haven't seriously considered it or anything. I just don't want to be dependent on anyone." Every time he tried, look at what had happened. He always got fucked up somehow.

Bella opened her mouth, then closed it, studying him again. "But that sucks," she said quietly, staring at him like she was seeing him for the first time. "Everybody needs other people."

He shrugged, packing his stuff up. He wasn't gonna waste time arguing with her. But he knew the truth. And it was stupid, just _stupid_, to think sticking him in a doctor's house with his golden boy football player would just fix his life up. It was more trouble than it was worth. It always was.

The bell rang and they stood to leave. "Where you going next?" he asked Bella, feeling like he had to be polite.

"Front of campus. AP Spanish. You?"

"Physiology." He noticed she fell in beside him without seeming to think about it.

They didn't talk as they walked, but she smiled and waved at everyone who said hi to her. Edward thought it was kind of weird how much attention she was paying to his life, but whatever. Her opinion didn't matter.

He glanced down and saw her eyes were distant, like she was thinking hard about something. But she didn't say anything, and he didn't ask.

They were almost at the Physiology room before she looked up at him again. "Listen," she mumbled. "It's none of my business, and you can totally tell me to go to hell if you want–" she bit her lip like she wasn't sure if she should keep going "–but I really think you should stay in school – not drop out, I mean," she hurried, blushing. "You're smart. It'd be, I don't know, a waste–"

Edward laughed; he couldn't help it. She glanced at him, looking really embarrassed. "I'm not gonna tell you to go to hell," he assured her, not admitting it'd actually been his first instinct, like it usually was when people tried to mess with his life. She smiled a little bit as he continued, "But you don't know me. You got no way of knowing if I'm smart. Besides, what's the point, to go to college? Even if I could get into college, there's no way I could pay for it. Thanks, but I got this."

"Oh. Um." Bella stuttered, looking like she was wishing she'd never got into the conversation. "Just… just think about it, okay? See you." And she turned and almost scurried off.

Edward laughed again as he walked into the classroom. Uptight princess or not, she was definitely funny.

"What's up with you?" Emmett asked him when Edward dropped into his seat next to his in Physiology.

Edward shrugged, and Emmett stared at him for another second before some other guy started talking to him.

But Edward thought of Bella's face, of the way she'd flushed red when she got uncomfortable. He shifted, staring at the whiteboard without really seeing it.

Maybe she just needed to figure out that not everything went the way she thought it should. _Then_ they could talk.

"¿Dijiste _qué_?" Alice demanded of Bella in second period, after she'd rushed into class looking more than a little flustered and had been bullied by Jasper into telling the two of them what had just happened.

Jasper raised his eyebrows at Alice. "¿Qué? ¿No estabas escuchando?"

Alice shot him a glare that seemed to say that _of course_ she had been listening, she'd just like a little clarification. "No te entiendo, Bella. I mean," she switched back to English without seeming to notice, "you start what has the potential to be a really deep, possibly relationship-forming conversation with him, and then you let him kill the subject."

"The whole world's not a love story, Alice. And anyway, it was none of my business," Bella whispered back, one eye on Mr. Molina as he made his way to the front of the room. "I don't know what I was thinking, it's just that college has always been such a real future for me–"

"Lorena, ¿tú hablas en inglés?" demanded Mr. Molina without looking up.

Bella switched back to Spanish immediately. "Claro que no, señor." She turned back to her friends. "Sin embargo, no debé creer que él quería mi opinión."

"El bullshit-o," Jasper interrupted. "Sabes que no tienes actuar como todo es tu culpa, ¿sí? Y si te lo olvidaste, él empezó hablar contigo sobre el futuro. Querías ayudarlo. Él no quisó tu ayuda. Fin." He glared at Alice. "No es tan grande cosa."

The bell rang and Mr. Molina opened class before Alice could snap back that yes it _was _a big deal, and Bella was grateful. She thought back over what Jasper had said, but she disagreed with him. Edward bringing up the subject definitely wasn't an invitation for her to volunteer her opinion, and it had been a mistake for her to see it as such. She sighed. Maybe it really would be better if she kept her opinions to herself.

And, contrary to Jasper's opinion, she wasn't trying to act like everything was her fault. She was just trying to claim ownership of how she'd messed up.

There was a difference.

~oOo~

Because Bella had to stay late to run orientation for the peer-tutoring program, which didn't end until four-thirty, Renee actually beat her home that afternoon. It was the first time Bella had really seen her mother since school started; the previous night she had just left my management plans on the counter and had come down the hall this morning to find them hastily signed. Notes on the counter were actually how they communicated best.

But now, Renee stood up from her seat at the kitchen table, plastered a big smile on her face, and came over to hug her daughter, only narrowing her eyes slightly at Bella's jeans-and-a-T-shirt outfit. "Hi, sugar. Come, sit down, tell me how your day was."

Oh, _God._ Bella ignored the sound of Alice's voice in her head, asking what Renee had done last Saturday night, that she felt the need to absolve herself at Bella's expense. Instead, she perched in a chair opposite her mother's, shifting a pile of her kindergarten class's management plans out of the way. "Any weird parents this year?"

Renee sighed and passed a hand across her eyes. "Aren't there always. But I've already gotten an angry email from one saying that the Magic School Bus poster next to my whiteboard frightened her kid." Bella laughed with her. Renee leaned forward and motioned to her. "But come on, I want to hear everything. Does your schedule work out for you?"

Bella nodded, wishing she had a cup of tea or something so that her hands wouldn't be just sitting limp on the table. "Yes. Leadership's zero period, which is a little stressful, and I have English last. But then, I also have two classes with Jasper, and one with Alice."

Renee nodded, her affected interest waning. "And is Jasper going to play baseball again this year?"

Bella fought the urge to roll her eyes. "It's Alice who plays softball, Mom. Jasper plays basketball. But yes, they both made varsity this year." She didn't add that Alice had been varsity last year, too, and already had college scouts looking at her. She picked at the skin of her cuticles.

Renee sighed. "I like talking to you. It's such a pity we don't get to do it more often."

Bella sat up straighter, feeling an odd mixture of happiness and guilt. She could easily make more time for her mother; why did she get herself so wrapped up in school? "Well," she hurried to come up with suggestions. "I have homework tonight, and a show on Friday, but we could go out on Saturday – have dinner and catch a movie or whatever." She looked up hopefully.

"What?" Renee looked startled. "Oh, no. No, I have a date with Martin for Saturday, and I'm going to be absolutely swamped with papers this weekend–"

Bella could literally almost _feel_ herself deflate, but kept her face still as she stood and grabbed her bag.

"Oh. I'll leave you to it then," she said, trying to keep the coolness out of her voice, not that Renee noticed. She just waved Bella off before turning back to her gradebook, and Bella stared at her for another moment, trying very hard not to be disappointed, before turning on her heel and pacing down the hall to her bedroom. Once there, she swung the door hard, but caught it before it slammed, closing it softly.

She pulled out her books and started her homework. There was nothing like calculus to dispel a bad mood.

She almost laughed at herself. God, she was pathetic.

~oOo~

"Any hot dates this weekend?" Bella asked Edward, smiling, when they were waiting for the bell to ring at the end of chem on Friday.

He didn't even bother to laugh, but he thought he better say something, just so he wouldn't be a total asshole. "Uh, Emmett's dragging me to Talbot's tonight," he told her, naming a sort of club thing he had never been to but Emmett and Rosalie really liked. "There's some band made up of people from our school playing tonight, and Rosalie wants to go. 'Cause it's the end of the first week of school, or something."

Bella looked at Edward funny, like he was messing with her. "What?" he demanded.

She opened her mouth to respond, but the bell rang, and she apparently rethought whatever she'd been going to say. "Um, nothing," she mumbled, before leaving for her next class.

At eight that night, Edward was sitting at a small round table in a crowded dark room with Emmett, Rosalie, and a bunch of their friends in the chairs around him. Or almost everyone was in the chairs and Rosalie was in Emmett's lap; the two of them kept taking breaks from the conversation to make out. Edward tried to keep his attention on Riley and everyone else, and ignore the occasional slurping sounds from behind him. Riley rolled his eyes and said, "They do this all the time. You'll get used to it."

Rosalie flipped him off without breaking the kiss, and he laughed. Edward wondered if Rosalie and Emmett were having sex. Probably.

He hadn't been paying attention to the stage or the band setting up there, because their table was towards the back of the room, but then a quick, heavy drum intro started. He looked up as everyone else began to clap, Rosalie coming up for air. Edward folded his arms across his chest and waited to be underwhelmed. Already, he could tell this wasn't his type of music.

But as the guitar and bass added in, he noticed how familiar the lead singer looked … curly red hair, pale skin, small stature.… Oh. It was Bella.

Edward turned to Riley, who stared back at him, looking as confused as he was. "You didn't know?"

"No, I didn't–" Before Edward could ask him how the hell he was _supposed_ to know, Bella started singing, and he shut up.

"_It's been three weeks now since you dropped the bomb, and the radiation didn't last. I don't know what you expected, but don't wait anymore, it's a waste of your time_." The tempo was quick, but she enunciated every word, with a smile he'd never seen before on her face. She looked happy. Hell, she looked _beautiful_.

Jesus. Where did that come from?

Edward shook his head and scanned the rest of the stage. He saw Alice playing a bass, a guy named Nick that Edward knew from pre-calc on guitar, someone he didn't recognize working what looked like a synthesizer, and Jasper sitting at the drum set at the back of the stage.

He wasn't surprised he hadn't recognized Bella right away. She was wearing eye makeup (he realized, kind of surprised, she was probably the only girl he knew who didn't wear makeup every day), which he guessed was to make her eyes stand out in the dim lighting. Jeans tucked into boots – and the boots had heels. Another first, at least as far as Edward knew.

And damn if she couldn't sing. How could anyone have a voice like that and be so quiet in normal life?

He heard Rosalie inhale sharply, and figured she was impressed by the song or something – which was getting a lot of the people in the room to dance and clap and shit – but when he glanced at her she was looking at him. "What?" Edward asked, a little defensive.

She leaned forward, crossing her arms on the table, and said quietly, so not even Emmett could hear, "Oh, my God. You like her."

Edward shrugged. "Sure. She's nice."

"Oh please, don't insult either of our intelligence. You _like her_."

He looked away, back at the stage. How stupid.

"Fine ignore me," she said, even though Edward wasn't looking at her, "but you know I'm right."

"Rosalie, shut up," he snapped. "Jesus."

Now her face turned smug. "Defensive. It's okay, you can say it. She's hot."

"What is your problem?" Edward demanded, leaning away from her. Before she could say anything else, Emmett stood up and pulled her wrist, leading her to the dance floor. But she glanced back at Edward once, like she was measuring him, before they totally disappeared.

Nobody at the table talked for the rest of the set, but the others kept getting up to dance. They always came back after a couple songs, though, because the place was packed, and Edward guessed it was hot out there. He ignored the two girls who asked him to dance with them.

Since he didn't wanna talk to Rosalie, he faced Riley instead. "Is this place always this crowded?"

He shook his head. "Just when And See's playing."

"Who?"

"And See, She Flies," he nodded up at the stage. "I think Bella picked the name, but I can never get Alice to tell me what it means."

Edward nodded and joined in the applause that'd suddenly started. Bella smiled and said something he didn't hear into the mic; he thought he got the word 'break.' Then Nick said something to her as he took off his guitar, and she turned to him and laughed.

"Is that _jealousy?_" Rosalie asked Edward, a self-satisfied smile in her voice, and he snorted. How old were they, twelve?

Because Rosalie made him, Emmett stood and waved Bella and Alice over. Once the two of them pushed through the crowd around the bar, Rosalie and the other girls took turns to hug each of them. "That was great, you guys," Rosalie said warmly. "But where's the new stuff?"

Alice shrugged and sat down. "Either still being refined or being saved for Firebird. A sort of charity competition thing," she explained to Edward, before he had to ask. "Bunch of Southern Arizona colleges put it on the week between Christmas and New Year's, small scholarships awarded to top six bands. It gets a lot of attention – talent scouts were there last year. Is that yours?" she added to Rosalie, indicating the glass on the table in front of her.

Rosalie nodded. "Sprite." She pushed it over to Alice.

"Is it spiked? I can't go back on stage if I'm buzzed."

"I promise you it's not spiked," Rosalie repeated, and Alice, satisfied, lifted the cup and took a sip.

"And," added Riley, "didn't you guys do really well last year? Second?"

Jasper, who'd just come over to the table with Nick and the other guy whose name Edward didn't know, said, "Yeah. We probably would have gotten first, too, if _somebody_," he scowled at Bella, "hadn't gotten a cold at the last minute and been unable to do vocals, so I had to do it, and she had to be taught the percussion for everything."

Bella smiled faintly. "Not that you're still bitter or anything."

"Hell no. Of course not." Jasper shook his head vehemently. "That would be petty."

Edward was about to laugh along with everyone else when something got his attention in the corner of his eye. He leaned back, craning his neck. And… there he was again. _Shit_. Not here – Emmett was here, and Bella–

Edward got up, muttered something about the bathroom, and started after the Padres sweatshirt dodging through the crowd. The guy went out the door, and Edward pushed through the line and past the bouncer to catch his arm just before he crossed the street.

"Peter."

"What the–" He started, turned, his hand went for the waistband of his jeans – he'd had a gun in there, where Bella was on the stage, in front of God and everyone. "Tony! Hey, man, what–"

"What the hell are you doing here?" Edward asked, barely noticing how low his voice was. Peter had been his friend, he'd been jumped into the LR a couple months before Edward had, he'd been the one to really show him around. But Edward had thought he'd left him, and everything connected to him, in Tucson.

The damn cocky grin faded from Peter's face. "Nothing, man, I was just–" He shrugged. "My sister's boyfriend said there was a band here tonight, and the girl was cute, so–"

"Last I checked, your sister was knocked up by Lucky and he was gonna marry her," Edward growled. "Don't fuck with me. Why are you here?" Peter shook his head, even though Edward was pretty sure Peter could _tell_ how damn pissed he was. When he still didn't answer, Edward glanced at the sweatshirt again. "You got that stain out."

Peter winced. He was supposed to. Because the last time Edward had seen him, and this sweatshirt, was in the dark glow of a streetlight and the red-and-blue flash of a cop car. Peter'd stayed back after the siren had scared the rest of the attackers off that last night; he'd pulled this sweatshirt off and pressed it up against the huge cut on Edward's back as he lay facedown in the alley. But when the cop went to arrest him, Peter took the jacket and ran, and the cop hadn't wanted to leave Edward to go after him.

"It wasn't that bad," Peter said now, defensive.

"I see the scar every time I take a damn shower," Edward retorted. "I know how bad it was." He waited, but Peter didn't look him in the eyes, so he asked, feeling his chest tighten, "They're looking for me, aren't they? And they sent you here?"

"Uh–" Peter shifted his weight. "Yeah."

Edward started to panic. Not for himself, but for Brian, and Emmett, and – Jesus – Marianne. If they found Edward, they'd find them, and…. "Peter, you can't tell them," he said, urgently, knowing if he had to he would beg, and hating himself a little for it. "Don't tell them I'm here."

"Shit, Tony, you kidding?" He took a step back, looking incredulous. "You want me to lie to James?"

Edward froze. "That's who's in charge now?" James had been holding the biggest knife at Edward's attack, and Edward still remembered his face as he came at him.

"He'd fucking kill me, man. I mean, you're my friend and all that shit, but you ain't worth my life." He shook his head frantically. "Hell no."

Edward opened his mouth, but he knew he'd probably sell Peter out just as fast, so he closed it for a second. "Will they ask you?"

"What?"

"If they don't ask you, you won't just tell them, will you?" he took a step closer to him.

"Uh." Peter scratched his buzzed hair, which, along with short stature, always made him look about six years old. "He sent guys into Corona, and Riverside, and I'm not the only one in LA."

_Shit_. "He really wants me found, doesn't he?"

"Tony, the way he sees it, you owe him your life, and you bailed." He glared at Edward. "Or did you forget what it means to be jumped in?"

"But I was fucking jumped _out_," Edward almost shouted, before remembering that there was a bouncer about ten feet away.

Peter shook his head. "They don't see it like that. But yeah, I'm the youngest guy looking, and I don't think he thinks I'm real reliable anyway, but–" he hesitated. "A'ight, fine. If it doesn't come up, if I'm not asked, I won't give you up. A'ight?"

Edward narrowed his eyes. "You promise?"

Peter sighed. "Yeah, I guess. You happy?"

_Not really_. But Edward didn't say that out loud. Instead, he said, "Now get the fuck outta here, Peter."

Peter nodded once, not smiling, before pulling the hood of that sweatshirt up and hurrying down the dark sidewalk. Edward didn't look away from him, making sure he was gone, before he turned to go back in. he was ready to tell Emmett they were leaving, now, and have Jasper make sure they took a back doorway when they left, before he stopped, almost making a girl with a cup in each hand run into him.

They couldn't go yet. If Peter was watching, and he saw Edward leave with anyone, then those people were in danger. And if he told Emmett to leave without him, he'd want to know why.

Dammit, Edward couldn't tell him. He'd tell Brian, and Brian would send Edward back to the system. And suddenly, Edward knew he didn't want that. He probably wasn't any safer there than anywhere else, but… Marianne, at least, seemed like she wanted him around. It was nice, for the first time in seventeen years, for someone to want him around.

So it was selfish as hell. But at the first sign Peter had squealed (dammit, Edward should have made him swear to tell him if he'd been forced to sell him out), Edward would leave. He'd get out, and make sure that the Cullens didn't know where he went. He could do that.

He took a deep breath and started back towards the table again, trying to keep his expression under control as he went. He heard her voice, and glanced up to see Bella back on stage. Either the song was sadder, or she was getting tired, but she just didn't look as into it as she'd been before. Edward could tell Alice had noticed by the way her forehead wrinkled and she kept glancing at Bella, and over her shoulder at Jasper.

"Where'd you go?" Riley demanded as Edward resumed his seat without looking at anyone.

He shrugged. "Bathroom. Like I told you."

He could tell from Emmett's skeptical expression that he was going to say something about a pretty big dump, but Rosalie caught his eye and shook her head. Emmett shrugged, and took her hand to lead her back out onto the dance floor. Once they were gone, though, Riley leaned over to Edward and said, "Bella was really disappointed, by the way. That you weren't back before they had to go back on."

Edward nodded once without looking at him, but he was now sure all over again that Bella Swan needed to spend as little time with him as possible.

~oOo~


	5. Chapter 5

**I am sorry beyond words for the delay. This past quarter at school has been crazy, but now that I'm on break, it'll get better. Thanks for sticking with me.**

**When last we saw Edward, he had been confronted outside a club by a gang member from his past life. Because of this, he has resolved to stay away from Bella to keep her safe.**

**Chapter Five**

"What does she see in him?" Jasper asked suddenly, glaring at his APUSH book as if it had done him a personal wrong. "He's a jerk, he can't have a civil conversation to save his life, and he clearly doesn't respect her at all."

Bella panicked for a minute before Alice sighed in exasperation. "Jasper, come on. You don't know what goes on between them 'cause it's really none of your business. You could've asked her out at any point last year and you didn't." She shrugged. "Oh well. You blew it; now don't blame a guy who's more proactive than you are."

At that, Bella relaxed slightly. They were talking about Maria and Blair. Nothing to do with Bella, or what feelings she may or may not have about… about certain people. Hypothetically.

To hide the relief she was sure was painted all over her face, lest Jasper think she was glad that he wasn't with Maria, she put her own textbook aside, got up from the dining room table, and walked into the kitchen. "Anybody want anything?" she asked, although it was Alice's house. They had destroyed those boundaries in each others' homes long before they'd had time to be established. "And where's Riley?"

Alice shrugged. "Not here, obviously. I'm trying to get used to it, since he's going to be _not here_ so often next year. He'll probably be one of those guys who never comes home from college. Can you pop some popcorn?" Bella nodded, going into the pantry to pull out a bag. "What about you, Jasper?" When he didn't answer her except for a shrug, she added, "Just so you know, pity parties are only sexy when girls have them."

"Bite me."

Bella glanced up, but Alice shrugged, hardly bothered. However, even she knew when it was time to change the subject. But, being Alice, she picked Bella's least favorite subject possible. "Bella, what do you want for your birthday?"

Bella slammed the microwave door and punched in the cook time for the popcorn with probably a little more force than was strictly necessary. "Why do you even still ask me? I'll tell you nothing, you'll ignore me, go buy me something way more expensive than necessary, and I'll pull a martyred face but love it anyway, like you knew I would. We do this every year."

Jasper cracked a smile. "You left out the part where she throws you a party that you don't want."

"Oh, God," Bella groaned, propping her elbows up on the counter and dropping her head into her hands. "Can you not, please?"

Alice did a very good job of pretending to be offended. "But I'm almost done planning it."

"Just as well, because her birthday's on Sunday."

Bella glared at Jasper. "You're not helping, _redneck_," she snapped, touching on his one pet peeve.

He balled up a piece of paper and threw it at her; it glanced off her forehead and landed on the floor. "Don't call the Southern boy a redneck. They're not synonyms," he growled at her, narrowing his eyes.

Alice again disregarded them, turning a page in her notebook. "The party itself is on Saturday. I was going to make it Friday, but the cake people were too backed up with orders, and anyway, Emmett and Rosalie wouldn't be able to come because of the football game that night. Can you grab a Pepsi?" she threw at Bella over her shoulder.

Bella reached into the fridge and extracted three cans, shutting the door just as the timer went off on the microwave. She went back to the table where they had all spread their study materials and deposited the sodas before returning for the popcorn. As she opened it, making her way back to the table through the buttery steam that erupted in her face as she did so, Jasper said, seemingly unable to help himself, "Seriously, though, what does she really see in him? You're girls."

Bella sighed as Alice groaned. "Jasper, get over her. God."

Bella added quietly, "Maybe if you stopped thinking about her, you'd notice that there are girls all over campus who think you're great. Take thirty seconds of your life to try and get to know one."

Alice snorted. "You're one to talk."

"I'm sorry?" Bella raised my eyebrows.

She rolled her eyes. "Don't be insulting. You and Edward."

Bella choked on the sip of Pepsi she'd just taken. Jasper sat up. "The new Cullen kid?" he clarified, interested.

"Yeah." Alice nodded. "He's her lab partner in chem. They've been talking a lot and stuff, and it really doesn't hurt that he's athletic and stoic and remarkably good-looking–"

"Why are we talking about this?" Bella sputtered, choosing to ignore the comment about his being good-looking. "We were talking about Jasper."

"Ah, but you see," Jasper said, extending his hand graciously, "we don't have to be talking about Jasper. This is interesting."

Again, Alice ignored them both. "I asked Rosalie about it, and she sees it too," she continued, and Bella avoided her eyes. "She really thinks he likes you."

Bella snorted. "I doubt that. I'm not… we wouldn't work together."

"Famous last words."

Bella put her pen down and crossed her arms on the table. "Alice, look. Just stop, okay? It's been what, a couple of weeks since me and Chris broke up? And I'm reasonably sure that Edward doesn't even like me."

"He didn't tell you to go to hell, even when given permission," Jasper pointed out. "That's something."

Both girls ignored him and Bella kept speaking to Alice. "I'll be lucky if we even wind up as friends, but he's told me that he plans on leaving as soon as possible. In case you forgot, he left the table last night just as soon as _I_ joined the conversation. He wants nothing more to do with me than strictly necessary. So just leave it alone."

Alice's eyes flashed. "Why will you be _lucky_ if you wind up as friends?"

Before Bella could groan, roll her eyes, ask Alice if she had a hearing impediment, or some combination thereof, her cell phone rang. She picked it up from where it sat on the table and glanced at the caller ID before flipping it open. "Hey, Markus."

"Turn on CAST," he said, referring to a locally broadcast radio station. "They're reviewing us."

"Ooh." Bella jumped up and crossed the kitchen to the radio sitting on the counter without disconnecting the call. After snapping it on and fiddling with the tuning for a moment, she found the review.

"…first set full of Bella's usual crackling energy," Tom the DJ was saying. Alice smiled at Bella. "Percussions were solid, it sounded like they were experimenting with a new bass drum sound."

"So that's good," Markus said through the phone. Bella shushed him and kept listening.

"But on the second set, while the instrumentals were still at the level of raw excellence we've come to expect from And See, something was bothering the lead singer."

Markus cussed into the phone, almost drowning out the rest of the review.

"… She wasn't as pitch-perfect as she'd been before, and a few of the songs lacked her typical passion–"

Bella snapped the radio off. "Markus, I'm sorry."

He took a couple of deep breaths, but she could tell that he was still irritated when he replied, "It's okay. Everybody has bad nights, right?" There was a pause, and he sounded more like himself when he said, "We just clean up, and we do better on Tuesday. I was just on the online store, and sales are up, anyway."

"Okay." Bella passed a hand before her eyes. "Listen, I'm kind of in the middle of homework, so…."

"Yeah. I should probably get started on that lab report for Physics." She heard some papers rustling in the background. "See you at rehearsal on Monday, okay?"

"Yeah." They hung up, and when Bella turned back to the table, Jasper had already returned to his textbook, but Alice was staring at her. "What?" Bella asked.

"So… Edward doesn't have any effect on you at all?" Alice asked, skeptically.

"No." Bella shrugged. "What has that got to do with anything?"

"Oh, nothing." Alice shuffled the notes in front of her. "Just that it seems like you got thrown off your game last night when you thought he'd blown you off. Which was right before we took the stage for the second set, in which you apparently had no crackling energy. That strikes me as effective, is all."

"Alice," her friend groaned. "When are you going to stop making a big deal out of this?"

"Once it stops being a big deal without my help," she retorted. "Just because you don't want to see it doesn't mean it's not there."

"Alice," Jasper intervened without looking up. "Drop it, okay? She doesn't want to talk about it."

She stared from him to Bella before huffing, "Fine. Live in your icy black pit of denial, then." She fluffed her hair over her shoulder. "But he's still invited to your birthday party."

Bella studied her. "Is there anything I could say to change your mind about having the party at all?"

Alice made a show of thinking hard for a moment before saying brightly, "No, actually."

Edward went for a run, following no real path through the Cullens' neighborhood. He told himself that it was because it was the last week of September, and the races would be starting soon, and he didn't want to lose his varsity spot. But he knew he was lying.

But the world was full of liars, wasn't it? Why should one more make any difference?

He just kept going, listening to the rhythm of his feet pounding the sidewalk mix with the thudding beat coming from his iPod, until it got dark enough for the streetlights to kick on. Only then did he head back to the Cullens' house, and the thoughts he'd been trying to outrun finally caught up with him.

So they were looking for him. But, he thought, moving into the street to give the sidewalk to a couple pushing a baby's stroller in the opposite direction, if James had guys like Peter looking, there was a pretty good chance….

He stopped at a corner and hammered the button for the crosswalk a couple of times. Of course, if they really wanted to track him down, they'd stake out the high school. But there were about two thousand people at Santa Inez; Edward had to stay until four every day for cross country; it wasn't like he was leaving at the usual, expected time. Yeah, he had a shot.

But the thing with Peter had freaked him out more than he was willing to admit. Carlisle was working the first night shift in the emergency room at his hospital, and since he was gone, Esme was paying more attention to Edward and Emmett. More than once, Edward had left the room when he'd felt her worried eyes on him. She didn't need the headache of his problems.

He managed to get into the house and up to his room without attracting anybody's attention; Emmett was watching the Angels beat the Red Sox on TV. Edward could hear Esme in the kitchen, but she didn't notice as he shut the front door and took the stairs two at a time.

He took a shower, ignoring the soreness that sometimes came from the tightening of the muscles beneath the scars, and flopped on his back onto the bed. He had a pile of homework that wasn't getting done, but he didn't care. And anyway, it wasn't like anyone expected anything from him. All his teachers would have seen his records, and Esme was just blinded by the success of her other foster case. Fine. As soon as she and Carlisle realized that they were wasting their time with Edward, he'd be gone. And all the better for them.

Still, he felt his gut twist at the thought of being back in the system – the thought of being away from here.

There was a rap on the door, and Emmett stuck his head in. "Dinner's almost ready."

"Okay." Edward didn't try and get up. "I'm not hungry."

He expected Emmett to shrug and back out, but he hesitated, even though Edward didn't look at him. "What're you doing?"

"Studying the ceiling." Edward still didn't turn his head.

Now Emmett took a step into the room, and Edward shut his eyes, wishing he'd go away. "Edward, what's going on?"

"Told you. Studying the ceiling. There's a slant in it, see?" Edward pointed. "I don't like the slant."

He heard the click of the door shutting and dropped his arm. Emmett sat himself down in the desk chair without invitation and said, "Talk to me."

Edward sighed. "About what? Sorry, but I don't do male bonding."

Emmett ignored that last part. "About why you keep avoiding all of us and looking over your shoulder since last night. Why you won't look at me right now, even though we're in the same room."

Just to prove a point, Edward turned to stare at him. "And I'm not looking over my shoulder."

Emmett met his stare evenly and allowed, "Not literally, maybe. But something's bugging you. You're worrying Esme."

"Yeah? She send you up here?"

Emmett shook his head without breaking eye contact. "She doesn't want to push you. But you're bothering her, so you're bothering me. And also, believe it or not, I'm worried about you too."

"Jesus," Edward muttered, looking out the window. He wasn't sure if he didn't prefer the way any of his previous foster families would've just ignored him. Out loud, he said, "Emmett, I'm fine. Okay?"

"Edward! Emmett! Dinner!" called Esme's voice from far away.

"We're coming in a minute," Emmett shouted back, but Edward stood up, more than happy to have the conversation end. Without looking back to see if Emmett was following, he opened the door and stepped out into the hallway.

"Edward," Emmett said behind him. Edward didn't slow down, and he didn't turn. "Listen. If you're in trouble, I can help you, or Carlisle could. You know that, right?"

He kept my eyes straight ahead as he replied, "No, you couldn't. All right? You got no idea what my life is. You don't need to be dealing with my issues. Just… finish high school. Go to college, get married, get a job, have kids. Do whatever it is you were going to do before I entered your life. My problems aren't yours."

Emmett laughed, and Edward could hear his frustration. "After I talked to you on the first day, I thought I'd gotten you to finally realize that you're one of us. But I guess not, huh? Something, God only knows what, happens and you shut us out again."

"I'm not like you," Edward hissed without looking back.

"Really? I've noticed." And he brushed past Edward down the hall so he was first down the stairs and into the dining room.

They ignored each other during dinner, and Esme pretended not to notice the tension, except to keep glancing between them. The only reason they could all pretend that everything was normal was that Emmett kept talking to her.

Life was like that, Edward thought bitterly. You ignored the shit and focused on the good stuff. But the shit never really went away just because you ignored it.

For the first time since Saguaro House, Edward woke up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, still panting from the old nightmare. For a few endless moments he frantically looked around the dark room, expecting to see _her_ at any moment. When reality finally caught up with him, he lay back and threw his arm over my forehead. He was here. She wasn't. Okay.

He glanced at the digital alarm clock at the bedside. One twenty-four AM.

His throat felt so dry. He got up and opened the door, careful not to wake anybody. As quietly as he could, he crept down the stairs and into the kitchen. He filled a glass with water from the sink and threw it back. As he refilled the glass, he tried to keep the images from the nightmare from replaying in his head. He hoped he hadn't shouted out.

Edward didn't believe in dreams. They weren't real, they had nothing to do with his life. He had a foster mom when he was ten or eleven who swore up and down that her dreams predicted the future, and that Edward's were his subconscious trying to tell me secrets. He thought it was bullshit then, too. He knew what this dream was saying, and it wasn't a secret. Well, not for him, anyway.

He gulped the water and stared out the window onto the patio, its reddish sandstone facing bleached in the moonlight. The moon glinted off the water in the backyard pool. She would be… what, thirty-two now? Thirty-three? Did she still live with her mother, and did her mother still take foster children?

As he took the water back upstairs, he thought about trying to go back to sleep. He'd never been able to before once he had a nightmare, which might have had something to do with the fact that this one time, when he was fourteen and had woken up screaming from one, his foster father of the moment had taken his belt to him for waking him. It wasn't that Edward was scared of going back to sleep – he wasn't – he just didn't really want to run the risk of having another one, shouting something, and waking Emmett, whose room was right across the hall.

Edward sighed when he'd closed the door to his room, and flipped on the light. He pulled his chem book out of his backpack and started on the homework he'd skipped. Bella would be happy, he thought wryly. No real dropout would do homework at two in the morning.

"Edward! Rosalie!"

Edward got to school Monday morning right between the bell to end zero period and the bell to start first when he'd been ambushed by Rosalie and her friends, most of whom were the type to laugh all tinkly. It annoyed Edward during lunch every day, but Emmett was pretty much making Edward hang out with him and his friends, because he'd made it clear to him on the second day of school that he wasn't going to let Edward stay alone. And Edward avoided the Latinos with gang markings. He'd have fit in with them, he was sure, but it seemed like, given a second chance, even one he hadn't asked for, he might as well try and do better.

It was hard to remember that, though, as a group of cheerleaders all tried to talk to him at once. He was sure that Emmett had asked Rosalie to set him up with someone, completely ignoring the fact that Edward _didn't date_.

The bell signaling the end of zero period had just rung, and Alice had called to him and Rosalie. Edward turned, searching for her through the rush of people hurrying to class. When she made her way over to them, she was out of breath, but she had a light blue piece of paper in her hand. "Party!"

"Ooh." Rosalie took the paper from her and unfolded it. "I always forget how early Bella's birthday is."

"Yeah." Alice hitched her bag higher on her shoulder. "It's for you and Emmett and Edward. It's not a surprise party this year–"

"Thank God," Rosalie laughed. "Remember last year? But wait – you and Jasper are having it because she wants a party this year, right?"

Alice shrugged. "What fun would that be?"

Rosalie smiled like it was cute, but Edward privately wondered why you'd throw a party for someone who didn't want one. Then he realized something. "Wait, me too?"

"Yeah." Alice looked at me funny. "Why not?"

"I…" He hesitated. "I don't think Bella would want me there."

Rosalie sniffed. "Then she can turn you away at the door, then, can't she? You're coming. Deal with it."

"She wouldn't turn anyone back at the door," Edward argued, shaking my head. He silently added that her perfect reputation wasn't worth it.

"I'll let you argue with me later," said Rosalie as the bell rang. "Can I take this to show Emmett?" she asked Alice, waiting to tuck it into her bag.

Alice nodded and melted away into the crowd as the two of them headed for the science building. "Rosalie, you said 'again,'" Edward started, but before he could really ask the question, she nodded.

"Yeah. Bella really hates what she calls attention for attention's sake. She thinks her birthday is just another day, but that doesn't stop her from making big deals out of Alice's or Jasper's." They had reached the door to the bio classroom, and she nodded to him. "See you."

Bella was already in her seat when Edward walked into the chem room, and he wondered again how she managed to get all the way here from the student center at the front of campus so fast every morning. She smiled at him as he pulled out his stool, and he said, "Happy early birthday, I guess."

Immediately her smile turned to a look of chagrin. "Did Alice get you, then? With those invitations?"

"Yeah." He took my seat. "You don't want a party?"

Bella shrugged, but she was smiling. "I don't mind. I just wish she'd keep it small." As Edward pulled his homework from his bag, she looked at him more closely. "Are you okay? You look tired."

He forced a smile. He hadn't wanted to go back to sleep at all last night, so he'd just kept doing homework. He was now startlingly caught up. "Oh, you know me," he told her, well aware that she didn't, not at all. "Out late partying. Trashed a couple of cars, spray-painted some houses–"

"Burned some lawns," she added, smiling again.

Edward shook his head regretfully. "No. We didn't get that far. The cops tracked us down first."

"Darn."

"Yeah." _People still say that_? "Hey, I thought you guys did really good Friday night. Sorry I disappeared."

She shrugged. "Thanks. And don't worry about it." But as she looked forwards to take notes, Edward caught her smiling to herself, almost blushing.

Miss Somerset was halfway through the lecture before Edward realized that he'd just had a conversation with Bella Swan. A relatively light-hearted conversation with her. Almost like they were friends.

What the hell was he doing? Talking to her when people were looking for him, pretty effectively putting her in danger. God, he was so stupid. She might get hurt because of him.

He was going to ignore her at the end of class, but he just didn't want to be rude. When the bell rang, Edward found himself walking with her until the physio room. She waved as she ducked around the corner.

He couldn't go to her party, he realized. Somebody could be following him. And what sucked the most was that he would hurt her, because he'd just given her reason enough to think he would actually go. Whether or not she'd wanted that party, she'd have reason to believe that he'd effectively lied to her. Damn.

"Hi, Edward." He looked over his shoulder as the little LaRenee girl that Jasper liked caught up to him.

"Hey, Maria." Since they had Physio together, there really wasn't any way to avoid her, even if Edward really didn't want to talk to anyone right now. "How're you?"

She hugged her books to her chest. "Good. You okay? You look tired."

That was two people who'd noticed in less than an hour. Was it really that bad? "Yeah, I–"

"Maria."

They both looked up to see her boyfriend standing right outside their classroom door, ignoring how everyone kind of ducked around him. Edward glanced down at Maria just in time to see something change in her face, but before he could figure out what it was, she smiled brightly.

"Hi, Blair!"

"Who is this?" he asked her flatly, but his eyes were fixed on Edward, who stiffened. He recognized that voice. Not from Blair himself, but from other guys he'd known, especially in Tucson. Blair was wearing a jacket, so even when Edward reflexively checked his arms for tats, he couldn't see anything.

"Oh. Um–" Nervous, Maria looked up at them both. "This is Edward Masen. He's – he just has this next class with me." With a little jerk of her head, she motioned for Edward to go inside.

_Okay_. But Edward held Blair's eyes for one more second before opening the door.

As he edged around the room to get to his lab table, he decided not to tell Alice that he wasn't going to Bella's party yet – it'd make it more believable if "something came up" the night of.

"Hey, man." Emmett looked up when Edward sat down, and so did the girl sitting behind him, who he'd just been talking to. Edward thought he recognized her from the girls' varsity cross country team. "You got a cross country meet coming up!"

Emmett, apparently, had a hard time staying angry for long. Edward grinned, relieved that he was going to ignore their argument from last night. "Really?" he said, amused into sarcasm. "I had no idea."

"Neither did I." Emmett reached over to punch Edward's arm. "Is there a reason this is the first I'm hearing about it? There'd better be a good – Maria is crying," he interrupted himself sharply, his gaze fixing over Edward's shoulder towards the door. "Why is Maria crying?"

Maria ducked into the room, one of her hands rubbing furiously at her eyes. Emmett and Edward both watched her, the former concerned and the latter calculating, as she slipped into a seat at the back of the room.

"The Boyfriend was waiting for her at the door," Edward muttered. "I don't think he was happy to see me."

"Why?" Edward turned back to Emmett to find his eyes surprised. "What's he got against you?"

Edward shook his head. "Wasn't me personally. I think it was the fact that she was with a guy he didn't know. Or any guy, actually."

"Oh." Emmett paused, thinking. "_Oh_."

"Yeah."

When the bell went off an hour later, Edward waved Emmett back and caught up to Maria himself. "You okay?"

She looked up at him, and he noticed that her eyes weren't red or anything. "Yeah! Why?"

Edward shrugged. "You looked a little… sad or something when you walked into class. Was he bothering you?"

She laughed, and Edward was surprised at how easy it sounded. "That's what he asked me about you. Of course not. He's just really protective, and he wanted to make sure you weren't upsetting me. He's sweet like that."

_Sweet. Right._ "You sure?" Edward was pretty sure he shouldn't press it, but he couldn't help saying, "It looked like you were crying or something."

"Edward, I have allergies. See?" She reached into her bag and pulled out a thing of Sudafed. "I gotta go." She waved and disappeared down the stairs.

Emmett walked up behind Edward. "So what's up?"

"She wasn't crying," Edward told him. "They were allergies. And he wasn't messing with her, or she's one hell of an actress." He glanced sideways at Emmett. "I think you just might be biased against The Boyfriend 'cause Jasper's your friend."

"Hey." Emmett held his hands up. "You said she was with The Boyfriend like it was important. Not me. And you might want to ask yourself who gets nasal allergies in the city in September."

"Who carries around Sudafed they don't need? It's not like she needs to take it to school to cook meth." Edward retorted.

Riley came up behind them. "What about Sudafed?"

Emmett explained to him what just happened – or _hadn't_ happened – as the three of them stopped at Riley's locker. He thought about it in silence as he put back his stuff for calculus and German.

"If it were me," he started slowly, "and I understand that it's not, because I wasn't there and didn't see for myself, but if it were, I wouldn't say anything _yet_. It's probably nothing, and if it is, talking about it is just causing unnecessary trouble."

"I agree," Edward said, and Riley looked quickly at him.

Emmett made a face, but nodded. "Fine. I don't like it, though." They all turned and walked towards the main part of campus. "Edward, you going to the football game on Friday?"

"Why?" Edward asked, and Emmett stared at him for a couple of seconds before he remembered. "Shit, Emmett, I'm sorry. I forgot. Are you starting?"

"Yeah." He shrugged and Riley laughed. "No big deal. So will you go?"

"You can sit with us," Riley offered.

"Uh." Edward started to say no, but then he remembered how Emmett wanted to go to the cross country meet. Still, he'd never been to a high school sports thing or anything, and he really didn't want to change that. Riley caught the reluctance on his face.

"Edward, it's not that big of a deal," he said. "Cheap food, and you get to do something that's not sit around the house or run, right? And anyway, I'm pretty sure Jasper and Alice and Bella will be there. They usually go."

"Bella will be there?" Edward asked sharply.

"Yep." Emmett smirked. "You want to go now, don't you? Rosalie told me about–"

"Emmett, no. Jesus. Anyway, I'll probably have homework." He started to walk away, thinking, as he did, that the last time he'd used that excuse had been to get out of making a drug run.

"It'll be Friday night, Edward," Riley reminded Edward, putting a hand on his arm to hold him in place. "You'll have all weekend."

"Why you doing this to me?" Edward demanded.

He expected Emmett to smile and make some sarcastic, happy comment, but instead, his face got serious. "Because we gotta keep forcing you into these things even if you don't want to be there, 'cause if we don't you'll probably sit in your emo corner until your eighteenth birthday, when you think you can just run out and take on the world alone."

He forced Edward to meet his eyes, and Edward heard the rest of the statement, repeated from Saturday night: _If you're in trouble, I can help you._

"God, man, that's morbid," Riley said with raised eyebrows, and Edward had never been so happy to hear the sound of a bell in his life.

"Alice, you know I hate parties."

Alice slipped another bobby pin into Bella's hair. "That's not true."

Bella considered this and the said, "You're right. I don't mind parties when we're being paid to be there as entertainment. My own parties, however, I hate."

"Oh, come on." Alice tugged a lock of hair with more force than was warranted. "You can't just go and ruin all my fun. Your conscience would never permit it."

"And I'd think that your conscience would prohibit you from torturing your best friend," Bella retorted. "It's my birthday. Don't I have the right to refuse a party on my birthday?"

"No. Whatever gave you that idea?" Alice took a step back to examine Bella's hair, nodded to herself, and then reached for her makeup, ignoring Bella when she groaned. "With my very subtle subject-changing skills, I will now comment on the morning announcements. Is it just me, or are they being sillier than usual?"

Bella shrugged, causing Alice to grumble as the eyeliner she was holding perilously close to her face almost smeared. "Not really. It's just that Trish won the coin toss for reading them over the intercom, and she was gloating a little. A lot."

Bella saw Alice frown in the mirror. "I thought it was something like that. She sounded a little snarky."

"Really?" Bella whispered. "You can tell?"

"Yep."

Bella sighed, remembering what Cathy had asked her on registration day: _"Is this what we're in for? A year-long rivalry between the president and the veep?"_

"And by the way," Alice added, approaching her with a tube of lip gloss, "you shouldn't have skipped out on the football game."

Bella raised her eyebrows. "I had homework. And since I _knew_ that I'd be losing a night of study tonight–"

"Edward was there."

Bella tried very hard to keep her expression blank. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, Emmett asked him to go. He and Riley sat with me and Jasper." Bella saw her shrug in the mirror. "Not that it matters to you, of course. After all, he has no effect on you."

Bella sighed loudly, choosing not to dignify that with a response, and Alice had a smug little smile on her face.

Riley ducked his head in Alice's door and grinned at Bella's martyred expression, but before he could say anything, Alice waved the lip gloss at him threateningly. "You! Out!"

He raised a hand. "Peace, little sister," he soothed. "People are starting to show up, and before I let them in I was wondering if you needed me to do anything last-minute."

She considered for a moment before shaking her head and saying, "No. Thanks, though. Now out."

"All right, all right. I'm going." And with a final smirk at Bella, he left, shutting the door behind him.

It was at least another twenty minutes until Alice declared Bella finished, and by then they could hear people arriving downstairs. As Bella rose and the two girls approached the door of Alice's room, a thought struck her, stopping me cold and knocking away her breath. "Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"What's your dad planning on doing for your seventeenth birthday?"

"Oh, Bee." Alice turned and pulled Bella into her arms, whispering, "Don't do this to yourself. Not tonight, okay? It's your birthday." Bella didn't answer, and Alice didn't release her. She continued, "But for what it's worth, I think Charlie would be pretty damn proud of you." She drew back and took Bella by the shoulders, forcing her to look into her eyes. "Now stop moping. Your dad wouldn't want you to mope during your party. Chin up, okay?"

"Right." Bella pulled a smile on. "Okay."

Alice scrutinized me and nodded. "Very convincing."

And Bella really tried. She even found herself, a couple of hours into the party (which was, of course, much bigger than she'd expected it to be), almost enjoying herself. But whenever she let her guard down, images of her dad's smile, the sound of his laugh, which she hadn't heard since she was twelve, crept into her mind. Jasper noticed, and Bella was sure Alice told him what was going on with her when she wasn't looking. She ignored them, and turned instead to greet Emmett and Rosalie.

"Bella!" Rosalie hugged her before handing her a little silver-wrapped package. Emmett followed suit, grinning broadly.

"Thanks, guys," Bella smiled, fighting the urge to sigh in exasperation. She was pretty sure she'd told Emmett, to his face, that she didn't want any gifts. Still, it was nice to be remembered.

"No problem," Emmett replied. "And this one's from Edward." He handed her another little bag.

"Oh," she said, surprised, as she stared at it.

"He picked it out himself," he added. "He didn't come, though – he said something came up." He grimaced, clearly not believing it.

"Oh," Bella repeated, and was saved having to come up with anything else to say by the appearance of Alice at her elbow.

"Hey, guys. Bella, let me take those." She lifted the presents out of her friend's arms and deposited on the table with the rest of the gifts. "Emmett, can you help me wheel the cake out?"

"_Wheel_ it out?" Bella demanded, and Rosalie laughed.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Bella, look around." She gestured to the party, which not only had taken over her backyard but had overflown into the living room. "Did you think a small cake could feed this lot?"

Bella sighed, choosing to ignore Alice's attempt at British slang.

Ten minutes later, she was standing in front of a huge pastel blue-and-green cake topped with seventeen candles in Alice's backyard while about a hundred people sang "Happy Birthday." As she blew the flames out, she didn't make a wish. Instead, she asked a question that could never be answered. _Charlie, your daughter is seventeen. How do you feel about that?_

Silence – the same silence as always – was the only reply she got.

Around two in the morning, the last few stragglers left the party, and Jasper and Alice helped Bella carry her presents across the street to her house. She wondered, again, if the three of them would have gotten to be friends if their parents hadn't bought houses so close to each other. As they approached the house, Bella was surprised to see the bJamesh glow of the television through the curtains on the front window. "Renee's home?" she asked, surprised.

She unlocked the door and let them in, and they were greeted by the sounds of a rerun of _The Real Housewives of New Jersey_. "Mom?"

"Oh, hey, sugar," Renee smiled vaguely, glancing at them over the back of the sofa. The light from the television glinted off the glass and bottle in front of her on the coffee table. She didn't get up, and Bella noticed that she was wearing her bathrobe with her hair knotted up on top of her head. She'd been home for a while, then. "Martin called and cancelled, said he had the stomach flu, so I decided I'd just stay in tonight."

Jasper frowned. "Did you know we were having Bella's birthday party tonight?" They all knew it was a rhetorical question. It wasn't like she could have missed it – Alice didn't believe in quiet music.

Renee shrugged. "Yeah. But I didn't feel like hanging around a bunch of rowdy teenagers tonight. Happy birthday, though, sweetie."

Alice made a scathing noise and was about to say something; Jasper nudged her after Bella down the hallway. But she only lasted until Bella's room.

"_Such_ bullshit!" she hissed as they set the presents down on the floor by Bella's bed. "She couldn't drag herself off her ass long enough to come to the cake-cutting?"

"Alice," Jasper and Bella murmured at the same time. Bella added, "Don't judge."

Alice opened her mouth to say something else, but just scowled again before hugging Bella. "Happy birthday, Bella." She ruffled her hair.

"Thanks," Bella smiled tiredly as Jasper hugged her too. "And thank you guys both for doing this for me."

"No problem." Jasper let go and ran a hand through his hair. "See you tomorrow – or I guess later today. Happy seventeenth, you old fart."

Bella laughed, and he grinned before the two of them left. She stretched her hands up over her head before grabbing her pajamas and heading for the shower.

When she reentered her room, wrestling my wet hair into one braid down my back, she turned on her computer and went on Facebook. She scrolled through the little 'happy birthday' posts that dotted her Timeline, smiling at each of them. She actually laughed out loud at the one from Jasper's older brother Danny, a junior at Pepperdine University: _Congratulations, you're now another year closer to death._ Before Bella logged off, she noticed that she had a message. She clicked on the little red speech bubble in the upper left-hand corner.

It was from Edward, sent about three hours ago.

_Happy birthday, Bella. Sorry I missed your party. I hope the present makes up for it._

Intrigued, she slid from her desk chair to the floor and sorted through the pile of packages and gift cards until she came up with the little bag that Emmett had handed to her. She tossed out the tissue paper and peered in.

Sitting in the bag was a little stuffed otter. She wondered, briefly, how Edward had known that she liked otters, since she'd never told him, and then recalled the drawing that Alice had done for her that was taped to the cover of her chem notebook. He'd noticed it, and remembered. Bella's throat felt tight.

She returned to her chair and typed a reply: _Thanks! It's so adorable. I'll name it Sammy. I really appreciate it._ She hesitated, wanting to say something about it being okay that he hadn't come, but she couldn't come up with anything that didn't sound stupid. So instead she just concluded, _I'll see you on Monday._

It had been a long couple of days, she reflected as she shut down her computer and crawled into bed, leaving Sammy on her night table. And so much longer because she really couldn't tell anyone about how _hard_ it felt to be her sometimes. She missed her dad.

Before she knew it, she was crying, feeling her tears wet my pillow. He should be here. He should be giving her a lecture on responsibility as she came ever closer to adulthood, he should have been holding a camera as she blew out her candles tonight, he should be anywhere but six feet underground at Forest Lawn.

After allowing the tears to have their way for a time, Bella reached up and turned on her bedside lamp. She turned to her night table and picked up the one picture frame there – the one that held the last picture that had been taken of her and her dad. She stared at it for a minute, her eyes tracing his arms wrapped around her, the smile in his eyes, the glint of the badge that declared him a lieutenant with LAPD. He had always believed in her. He'd always been there.

"I love you, Daddy," she whispered, before tucking it, and her pain and grief, away again, hiding it like the rest of her secrets.

**So in order to make up for the unforgivable delay, i'l try to post every other day for a while. :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello again! Hope everyone's holiday plans are going well. I'll let you get to it. Shorter chapter, but not a filler at all. Enjoy!**

**Chapter Six**

"Twenty-six thirty," Coach Brown called as Edward ran past him before skidding to a stop at the end of the six-mile run through the neighborhood around the school. As he raised his arms above his head to even out his breathing, he glanced around at the empty track – he was the first one back.

He grabbed his water bottle and took a long swallow, then mopped his face with his T-shirt, which he'd pulled off and tucked into the waistband of his shorts somewhere around the third mile. Even if it was October, this was Phoenix, and it was still hot.

Edward flopped on his back about ten feet from where Coach Brown stood at the edge of the grass that the quarter-mile track ran around. He could hear the splashes and whistles that meant the water polo team practicing. His eyes shut, and he watched the play of shadows across the fiery red of his eyelids as other people ran in and joined him on the grass. But he wasn't really thinking about them.

There'd been nothing from Anam Gi for over two weeks now; maybe he really wasn't worth anyone's time. He'd kept with his decision to not tell anyone in the Cullen house, and none of them had bothered him about his 'weird behavior' since he and Emmett had that argument. It was… almost okay.

But this world still didn't feel comfortable to Edward. So he spent most of his time either in his room or out of the house, just running. At least he was in good shape.

As the others got back and started to cool down, the chatter around Edward rose and fell. He heard, but he didn't really listen, as they all started talking about homework and girlfriends and their other stupid little issues. He wondered how any of them would react if they were ever _really_ hurt.

"Okay, people, listen up," he heard Coach Brown call. He sat up and joined the informal group on the ground near Coach's feet. Edward leaned back on his hands as he heard Coach call out the most improved times, but he didn't join in the applause. He was too wiped.

"And call time for the bus transport to the meet on Saturday is going to be seven-thirty in the morning," he finished, tucking his clipboard under his arm. "It's a three-hour drive. Any questions? No? Then dismiss."

Edward stood with everyone else, stretched, and started for the locker rooms, but Brown called him back. "Masen."

"Yes, Coach?" Edward turned back to him, and he beckoned him forward. Edward noticed Coach was staring at his skin.

Edward glanced down at his naked chest – his shirt was still in his hand – and grimaced. Carlisle had taken him to have his tats lasered off, but he was still decorated with scars. He pulled his shirt back on.

Now Coach looked up at him, his face grave. "Son, is there anything you want to tell me?"

Edward flinched a little when he called him 'son,' but realized what he was really asking. "Coach, the Cullens aren't… _abusing_ me. These are old, from another foster home." Brown still looked unconvinced, and Edward was worried about this getting back to Carlisle and Esme, about them getting in some sort of trouble. He added, lying a little, "The state already knows about it."

"You're sure?"

Edward nodded, and Brown stared at him for another moment before nodding back. Edward turned and jogged off towards the locker rooms, not wanting to know if Coach was still watching.

When he got to the little rise where the grass ended and the asphalt began, Edward saw a couple of the leadership people, all of them carrying something white and big and lumpy-looking, walking past the pool. He was about to take a swig of his water bottle when someone called, "Edward!"

He turned and saw Bella coming towards him, smiling as she carried an armful of the same stuff the others had. "Hi!"

The Monday morning after her birthday, Edward apologized again for bailing on her party, and she'd waved it off with a smile. While he was glad she wasn't offended, he was also kind of hurt that it didn't seem like a big deal to her. He thought about that as she caught up to him.

"Hey," he grinned. "What's up? And what the hell is that?" he asked, nodding to the mass she was holding.

"We're taking down posters." She shrugged. "We have to get all the freshman class elections stuff down now that Red Ribbon Week is coming up." She smiled up at him again, shading her eyes from the sun with her free hand. "Thanks again for the otter, by the way."

Edward shook his head. "I told you. It's not a big deal."

"It is, though. I mean, you didn't have to do that. And did you know I collect otters?" she asked.

"Yeah?" That explained the picture on her binder.

She nodded. "Yeah, stuffed ones and drawings and posters. It's been a thing since I was about four."

"Hey – I was wondering. Why'd you name it Sammy?"

"Oh." Bella did this weird flip thing with her hair to get it off her shoulder, and Edward smelled her shampoo. It smelled like some kind of flower or something. "I had this babysitter when I was a kid – her name was Samantha. It just reminded me of her."

Edward laughed. "I'm sure every babysitter wants to be remembered by a kid naming a stuffed animal after her."

"Are you making fun of me?" she demanded, and he looked down quickly, but relaxed when he saw her smile.

"Just a little," he admitted. "Hey, let me carry some of those for you." He reached for the posters, but she waved him off.

"No, thanks. The student center and the locker room are in opposite directions." She shifted the lump to her other arm, and Edward noticed her white T-shirt was kind of see-through. He swallowed hard when he realized he could clearly see her bra through the fabric. It wasn't that the bra was a dark color or anything; the outline was just really obvious….

He'd been staring at her chest. He hoped she hadn't noticed, and he quickly looked away.

"Listen, I'll see you, okay?" he muttered, and jogged the rest of the way to the locker room. He didn't want to go there with Bella. She didn't need all the baggage it'd give her.

He smiled wryly. _That_ was stupid. It wasn't like she'd ever agree to date him anyway.

He was distracted by the buzz of his thoughts – most of them about her – as he made his way into the locker room, and it lasted until he was drying my hair in front of his locker. Chris Janssen, Bella's ex and, it turned out, a runnignback on the JV football team, made his way through the other guys and sat himself down on the bench behind me. "So Masen, you and Bella Swan?"

Edward froze for a minute, then reached into his locker and pulled a fresh shirt on without looking at him. "No. Not that it's any of your fucking business."

Janssen laughed behind him. "You sure?"

"I'm sure it's none of your fucking business." Edward finished changing without looking up, knowing he'd got the attention of some of the guys around them. _Don't rise…._

Now Janssen got up and stood right next to Edward; he had to look him in the face. He smirked at Edward, but there was anger in it. "She's a waste of time," he whispered, like he was sharing a secret. "She doesn't put out."

Edward snapped. He seized Janssen by the collar of his shirt and pushed him up into the bank of lockers, enjoying the fear in his eyes. "_What_ did you say?" he growled. It got real quiet, but Edward didn't care.

Janssen held his hands up and tried to push me off, but I didn't let go. "Get off me, man! I'm just saying–"

"Yeah, I heard you," Edward hissed, feeling the blood pound in his head. "I want to know what the _fuck_ makes you think you have the right–"

"Edward!" Emmett shoved his way through the other guys in the room – and all of them were staring at Edward and Janssen – so he could grab his brother's shoulder. "Don't do it. Let go." He waited, but Edward didn't move. "_Now._"

Slowly, Edward relaxed his fingers, and Janssen pushed himself away, straightening his shirt and scowling.

"Good," Emmett said behind Edward. "Now get your stuff. We're leaving."

Without taking his eyes off Janssen, Edward did as Emmett said before following him outside. Emmett didn't say anything as they crossed the campus, but moved so quickly Edward almost had a hard time keeping up. He glanced at Emmett's face and could see he was _pissed_. Edward looked straight ahead as they got to the parking lot.

Rosalie'd already got out of cheerleading practice and was waiting in the passenger's seat of the coupe, windows down and music on. The guys got in without talking, but as soon as the door was shut and he'd turned on the engine, Emmett started.

"What the _hell_ were you thinking, Edward?" he demanded. "Didn't it occur to you that guys get kicked off teams for pulling shit like that?"

Rosalie's eyebrows pulled together as she looked between them. "What'd he do?"

"Started a goddamn fight."

"I didn't start anything!" Edward snapped, staring out the window. It was true; Janssen had come over to talk to him, and it wasn't like anything had actually happened. Unfortunately.

"Yeah, because I pulled you off him."

"Who?" asked Rosalie impatiently.

"Chris Janssen."

"Oh, well, then." She flipped her hair back. "That's all right."

"It is _not_ all right!" Emmett shouted. Edward started; it was the first time he'd ever heard Emmett raise his voice except in fun. "Edward, I'm guessing there's a clause in your contract with the system that says you can't get into any trouble at school or they'll relocate you? And don't you only have a few strikes to go until you're declared a ward of the state?"

"So what?" he retorted. "It's only a matter of time, isn't it, before you all realize I don't belong here and send me back anyway." He was shouting by the end of it, trying to cover his fear with a bitter voice, with anger – anything. He always had to do anything but admit he was scared.

Both Emmett and Rosalie shut up for a second; Emmett looked like he'd been stunned or something. Then Rosalie asked, quietly, "Is that what you think?"

Edward didn't answer.

In the rearview mirror, he saw Emmett open his mouth, close it, and then take a deep breath. "Edward, if that were true, I'd've just let you fight him. God knows he's a douche and he could use it, but I stopped you because I don't want you to get in trouble. Believe it or not, we – all of us – really don't want you relocated."

Edward snorted. "Sure you don't."

Emmett's face reddened. "Are you so used to everybody expecting–"

"Emmett," Rosalie interrupted him. "Leave it. He's going to have to figure it out himself."

Edward turned his head to tell her there was nothing to figure out, because he already knew how this was going to end, but her eyes were on the road in front of her, and he didn't bother.

All three of them were quiet almost the entire rest of the drive, but right before they pulled up in front of her house, Rosalie asked him quietly, "What'd he do?" When she saw his confusion, she explained, "Chris. What'd he do that made you hit him?"

"Oh. He–" Edward glared out the window at the memory. "He asked me if I was going out with Bella, and I said no, and he said just as well, because she doesn't put out."

"Hmm," Rosalie said as she got out.

Edward didn't ask what she thought because he didn't care. And he didn't take her spot in the front seat like he usually did. Emmett didn't say anything else to him, and he didn't say anything else to Emmett, until they got back to the Cullens' house.

Almost before he'd cut the engine, Edward had got out of the car, grabbed his bag, and gone straight to his room and shut the door. He didn't know if Emmett told Carlisle and Esme what had happened, because he didn't come down for the rest of the night. He ignored Esme when she came to get him for dinner, and he didn't shower until everyone else had gone to bed.

Maybe if he just shut down them, they'd get so irritated that they wouldn't wait for him to get in trouble before they sent him back to the system. Make their lives easier.

Edward avoided everyone all weekend by staying out of the house, which wasn't easy when he was still worried about being seen by anyone from the LR. He ran a lot, staying in the rich neighborhoods around where the Cullens lived, where people wouldn't wait two seconds before calling the cops on anyone who looked even a little like a gangbanger. As he pounded past the mini-mansions, Edward wondered if the people who lived in them had even the first damn clue about the wars going on in the underground of their cities. If they even cared.

When he got back to the Cullens' house, Carlisle was in the kitchen making lunch as Esme sat at the breakfast counter, flipping through a catalog. Carlisle looked up when he entered. "Edward, someone called for you."

Edward froze, trying not to panic. They wouldn't call the house, would they? They wouldn't be that obvious around white people who could make trouble for them. "Who?" he asked, not breathing.

Esme took the cordless phone and slid it towards Edward along the counter. "Diane, your caseworker. She asked that you call her back as soon as possible, okay?"

Edward breathed out slowly. "Okay." He took the phone and turned to leave the kitchen.

"And when you finish, come back down, all right?" Carlisle called after him. "Lunch is almost ready."

"Right – yeah–"

"Edward." He turned around, and Carlisle was looking at him in concern. "Is anything wrong?"

_I should tell him_. It was, after all, his family, his wife, in danger because of Edward. And Edward didn't know if he was safe in this house anyway.

The phone in his hand felt heavy. If he told Carlisle, Carlisle would take it back from him, call the caseworker himself, and have Edward relocated. Edward didn't want that.

"No," he heard himself say. "I'm fine."

Carlisle nodded slowly. "If you're sure."

"I am," Edward nodded, feeling the lie in his mouth. "Thanks." And he turned around and went upstairs.

After he'd showered, he called the caseworker, replying to all her questions with monosyllabic answers, telling her the Cullens were treating him good, not hurting him. She sounded happy – it was the first time he'd really given a good response to those kinds of questions before. He could tell Diane thought he was changing for the better. _Just the opposite,_ he thought. He was just more scared to admit how much he was still the same.

On Monday morning, because he'd had to double back to grab an extra pair of socks for that afternoon's practice, Edward was late getting out of the house and so stepped onto campus right as the five minute warning bell for first period rang. He cussed and started running, booking it across campus to the science building. They had a lab in chem, and he didn't feel like getting a referral from Miss Somerset or taking shit from Bella.

But when he pulled open the door to the chem room – thirty seconds before the late bell rang – and looked at his lab table, he paused. Bella wasn't there.

He hurried to his seat, staring around so he could check she wasn't talking to anyone else or something. She always got to chem before he did – the two times she hadn't, they'd walked in together. Edward didn't see her, so he got the attention of someone who he knew had zero period leadership. _Name, name, name_ – "Pauline," he remembered, and she turned around.

"Yeah?"

"Bella get held up or something?"

She shook her head. "She actually didn't show up at all to zero. Which is weird, 'cause she's like, always there. Whittier was actually kind of pissed."

"I bet," Edward muttered before heading back to his desk. Bella not showing up… and on a lab day. _It figures_, he thought, as he unpacked his stuff and put his name on the lab report on the table and Miss Somerset began reading off the lab instructions. Just as soon as he started to trust Bella, she screws him over. She _knew_ one person couldn't do this lab alone.

He remembered her stuck-up comments about his schedule on the first day of school. She'd given up on him. Like everyone else–

Miss Somerset broke off as the door at the back of the room opened. Edward turned around on instinct and sat up as he watched Bella walk in. The teacher picked up the instructions where she'd left off as Bella, her head lowered, scurried to the front of the room and handed her a little piece of paper. It was pale orange, the color of unexcused tardy slips.

Her head was still down when she took her seat next to me. I was gonna ignore her for being late, but I noticed something. Her eyes were red. So either she got high this morning and forgot to Visine, or she'd been crying. And Edward didn't smell any pot.

"Bella?" he asked as people started to get up and begin the lab all around them. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing." She shook her head, not looking at him, and reached for a test tube rack. "Let's get started."

He tried to catch her eye for another second, but she kept labeling chemicals on her lab notebook. Edward shrugged and got up, taking the graduated cylinder to fill it from the beaker of silver nitrate Miss Somerset put at the front of the room.

Pretty much the entire lab passed like that, with neither of us talking except to read out observations of the test tubes or measurements of volumes or shit like that. At first, it seemed like she was okay now. But slowly, Edward recognized stuff he'd seen in girls in Tucson. How, instead of owning up to how something was bothering them, they'd grit their teeth and get all apathetic. Anything other than showing emotion.

Bella was doing that now.

They finished the lab early, and after he'd handed them in and walked back to the table, Edward could see Bella squeezing her eyes shut, like she was trying to hold something in. he hesitated for a second, then went back to the front desk. "Miss Somerset?"

"Edward?" The teacher glanced up at him from where she'd been grading something from another class.

"Uh," he started, thinking fast. "Since we're done with the lab, can I go get something for my next class? I forgot it."

She glanced down at his lab report where it sat on her desk before shrugging. "Sure. Go ahead."

"Well, it's kind of in Bella's car," he told her, trying to come up with something that sounded real. "It's my physio book. I was worried I'd lose it, so I asked her to hang onto it for me."

"So she needs to go with you?" Miss Somerset asked him, looking over his shoulder at Bella. He saw her eyes narrow.

"Yeah."

Miss Somerset looked back at Edward, assessing him. "Okay, Edward," she said, sounding suddenly less businesslike than she had before. "Go ahead."

"Thanks." He turned around and headed back to his and Bella's table, scooping up his backpack when he got there. He looked at Bella, who was watching him, confused. "C'mon."

"Where?" she asked, suspicious.

He snorted. "Like it's worth the effort to get you in trouble on purpose. I'm springing you. Let's go."

She glanced nervously at Miss Somerset, but eventually did like he told her. She picked up her books and slid the strap of her bag over her shoulder, and Edward led her outside, keeping a hand on her elbow. He didn't know why he did that. It just seemed kind of safer that way.

But as soon as they were around the corner from Miss Somerset's classroom, Bella tore her arm from Edward's hand and strode away from him, wrapping her arms around herself as she hurried away. Her shoulders hunched and she ducked her head again.

A month ago, if something like this happened to him, he'd have shrugged and walked away. She'd dismissed him, after all. What did he care?

But now, Edward remembered how it'd felt when, even after he tried to get him to leave me the hell alone, Emmett still kept trying to talk to him. Like he actually gave a damn.

Edward jogged to catch up to Bella. "Hey!"

"What?" she snapped, trying to hide the way she was scrubbing at her eyes.

Shit, he really hated it when girls cried. But he kept talking anyway. "Bella, c'mon. What's going on?"

"Nothing, okay?" Now she was staring straight ahead, walking way faster than he'd think someone that short could. "Thanks for getting me out of class and everything, but can you just leave me alone now?"

The temper set Edward back a little, because he'd never seen her mad, ever, but he didn't think she was really pissed. "Yeah? So you can what, go cry in your car?" They were in the parking lot now, and automatically Edward looked around to check for security guards before remembering nobody'd bust Miss Perfect.

Now she turned to glare at him. If it was supposed to be intimidating, it didn't work. "Not that it's any of your business, but I thought I'd just settle myself for a few minutes until the bell rang, and then go to second period."

"Looks like it'll take more than a few minutes to get you settled," he told her. She tried to sneer before turning on her heel and walking off in the direction of her car. Again – God knows why – he followed her. "Bella, just take two seconds and tell me what's wrong."

"No."

"Why not?" he demanded. "I'm risking truancy for you right now. You could at least tell me what for."

"I'm _sorry_! God! Just go back to class if it bothers you that much."

They'd reached her car, and as she dug for her keys in her bag, he leaned against the driver's side door and folded his arms. "Now I gotta stay just to irritate you."

"Edward, it's nothing." She slammed her books onto the roof of the car and tried to shove him away from the door without looking at him. "I… I'm PMS'ing." There was victory in her voice, like she was sure that'd get him to back off.

Edward just looked at her.

She sighed, frustrated. "Why does it _matter_?"

He thought about that for a minute. It actually shouldn't matter. He shouldn't care why she was upset – he had enough to deal with already. And anyway, she'd made it clear he wasn't important to her.

So why _did_ it matter?

"I don't know," he replied, but kept looking at her, waiting for her answer.

She glanced up at him quickly before turning and staring across the lot. She lifted a hand to brush her hair out of her face, and he noticed a bracelet he'd never seen on her wrist. Little black crystals set in an elastic chain glinted in the sunlight through the smog. She didn't speak, and his eyes narrowed. He shifted. What the hell was he thinking, trying to force her to talk to him? This was how guys like him got in trouble – they _harassed_ white girls.

He'd pretty much decided to go back to class before shit happened when she started talking.

"Today…" she started, and took a deep breath. "Five years ago today, my dad died."

"Oh shit." He dropped his arms, inhaling sharply. "Bella, I'm sorry."

She swallowed hard, but shook her head. When she talked, her voice was quieter, and he could hear now that she was trying so hard to hold it together. "He was a cop. It was a car chase, they were going after some guy who'd robbed a convenience store or something. When the guy ran out of gas, he ditched the car and ran. Dad and his partner started to chase him on foot. He had a gun."

He opened his mouth, to say what he didn't know, but she was still talking quietly, almost like he wasn't there. "I came down the hall this morning, and I'd already been crying a little, right? And my mother," her face twisted a little, "was just coming in the front door, doing her damn walk of shame, and–" She inhaled sharply, squeezing her eyes shut and clapping a hand to her mouth. He stood up straight, watching her, barely breathing.

"She didn't know," Bella whispered. She didn't move her hand, so it was almost hard to hear. "She forgot. And when I told her, she said I should… _get over it_. That I should move on with my life. That there wasn't any point in remembering him, because he's never coming back."

He was quiet. Her head ducked down, and he saw a tear escape from under her eyelid.

He didn't want to see her cry, and it wasn't just because he didn't like it when girls cried. Someone… like her shouldn't have to cry.

Slowly, not really knowing why he was doing it, he reached a hand out and touched her wrist. Aside from this morning, it was the first time he'd touched her since he'd walked into her the first day of school.

At once her face changed; her eyes snapped cold and she took a step back. "Look, stop pretending like you care, okay? It'll be easier for both of us that way."

He stopped breathing.

_She stood up, stretched her arms over her fake yellow hair, and sauntered across the room._

_At the door, she paused and looked back at him, smiling. "You're not gonna tell anyone about this, right, Tony? It'll be easier for both of us that way."_

He shook the memory off and glared at Bella. "Like hell."

"Edward–"

"I can't pretend I didn't hear what you told me," he told her, taking a step forward. She didn't back away, but looked at him like she was nervous as he said, "And I'm not _pretending_ like I care." He held his breath another second, then just said it. "You're not the only person who's ever been hurt, Bella."

She stared at him, studying his face, looking right in his eyes, and he didn't blink, even when what he said caught up with him. He thought he saw her face crumple, but then she stepped forward, stepped to him, and he put his arms around her, feeling her breathe as she started to sob into his chest.

He let her cry, even as he felt the front of his shirt getting wet. He just rubbed her back, trying to stop her shuddering. It felt… nice, he realized, to be making someone else feel better.

A couple minutes later, she took a deep breath and straightened up. He lowered his arms as she smiled shyly. "Sorry." Her eyes were still red.

"Don't apologize." He shrugged, already seeing she was going to play down whatever it was that just happened. "It's your right."

"Yeah, but…" she trailed off, running a hand through her hair. "You shouldn't've had to see that."

He almost laughed. "If you think that's the worst I ever seen, you don't know me," he muttered, hearing the truth in his words more than she probably did. She _didn't_ know him.

And that was better.

She tilted her head to the side a little, but didn't ask. Instead, she nodded and picked up her books again.

"You going to class?" he asked, more disappointed than surprised. He'd wanted her to maybe ask me to give her a ride home or something – so he'd know she was really okay.

Bella shrugged. "Yeah. I mean, it looks bad if I skip."

He nodded, feeling the polite, formal distance grow between them again. _Better_, he reminded himself. But something'd changed in the last five minutes, and it scared the hell out of him. Still, for some reason, he couldn't stop himself from making one last offer. "Are you sure? Because–"

She cut him off. "I'm fine," she smiled. It almost looked real. "Thanks, though."

The bell rang, and she turned to head back to campus. All he could do was follow her.

**This chapter is probably my favorite thing I've ever written. Please review for me?**


	7. Chapter 7

**So the world hasn't ended yet today, and I'm disappointed because I thought there would be rioting in the street and I could steal a Lamborghini and get away with it. Oh well.**

**Chapter Seven**

It was the wrong kind of blush.

All through Spanish and into APUSH, this one thought kept pounding itself into Bella's head. It was the wrong kind of blush.

At her father's funeral, she had spent most of the time tucked into Jasper's arm, runoff from her eyes and nose ruining his shirt. Later, when they were back home, her mother had shouted at her, calling her a disgrace who wore her heart on her sleeve. Bella had blushed then, feeling herself go red first in anger, and then in shame as she remembered the weakness she had shown. Her dad had taught her to be stronger than that.

Knowing what today was, Jasper and Alice had left Bella to her thoughts in Spanish, and none of her close friends had APUSH with her. So all morning, no one had noticed – or at least, commented on – the abstraction in Bella's eyes as she remembered Edward, his eyes as he listened, his arms as he held her, how she had just sobbed all over him, spilling out her problems like they actually mattered. But as she thought back to this morning in the parking lot, what caused the new dilation in the capillaries of her face wasn't so much the embarrassment of her outburst but rather the way Edward had acted like it wasn't embarrassing at all.

It was the wrong kind of blush.

"Bella," Mr. Barrett snapped, and she jumped.

"I – um–" Bella stuttered, glancing around, before collecting herself. "I'm sorry, what was the question?"

He narrowed his eyes at her, but repeated, "Why did the French condescend to form an alliance with the colonies during the revolution?"

"Oh." Bella sat up. "Because the French were in favor of anything that damaged the British empire, including a rebellion on this scale, and after Saratoga, they had reason to believe that an alliance would be profitable. They didn't join before then because, had they believed that the colonists would lose, when the war was over they'd be seen as abetting a rebellion, which would be reason for Britain to declare war against them."

Barrett nodded curtly before moving on to his next victim, leaving Bella to her preoccupation again.

When the bell rang, expelling the class into the hallway, Bella brushed her hair from her face and held her books to her chest as she joined the queue for the stairs so she could get down to the physics lab for fourth period. The anniversary was always hard, more so even than his birthday. But she was better off at school, with other things to think about, than just sitting home wallowing in remembered grief, she was sure. She saw Rosalie coming and, knowing that she'd be able to tell that something was wrong, Bella ducked her head as she hurried past the other girl. She'd had quite enough of talking about it today.

When she pulled into her driveway after school that day, Riley was just getting out of his car across the street. Seeing Bella, he waved, and jogged over. She groaned a little inside. Judging by the smile on his face, he hadn't remembered. "Hey, Bella."

"Hi, Riley." Bella locked the car and started for her front door, hoping he wouldn't follow her. But, being Riley, he did.

"Hey, d'you think you have time to help me out with calc tonight?" he asked, and she looked up at him incredulously.

"_You_ need help with calculus?"

He shrugged, embarrassed. "I know, right? Don't tell Alice. I just really don't get it."

Bella hesitated, knowing that she should. But she knew she wouldn't be focused, and she'd probably confuse him even more. "Sorry, Riley, I can't. I have too much else going on."

Riley studied her for a second, and she had to bite her lip to keep herself from looking away, shifting her books to her other arm. She was thankful he didn't ask her what was wrong, instead saying, "It's no big deal. I mean, in twenty years, I won't really care what I learned in calculus, right?"

Bella forced a laugh. "That does you very little good at the moment, though. But you know that Shepard offers help before school. Can you get out of zero period tomorrow?"

He shrugged. "Probably. And thanks anyway, Bee."

"No problem," she assured him, and he waved once before heading back across the street.

Well. If she could handle myself well enough to fool Riley, one of the most empathetic people she knew, then why on earth, Bella asked herself angrily, had she lost it in front of Edward this morning?

She couldn't sleep that night, although she went to bed at eight. As she lay awake all night, she heard nothing but silence. Renee never came home from work. Bella knew it made her a horrible person, but she couldn't work up the energy to worry about her mother, to wonder where she was. When the sun came up the next morning, Bella got up and showered, although she just wanted to go back to sleep. She wasn't over the previous day's residual sadness yet.

Fortunately – or unfortunately, depending on how one looked at it – when she got to leadership, she had plenty to occupy herself. The bell had barely rang and most people were still looking for seats when Mr. Whittier dropped a three-inch white binder labeled HOMECOMING down onto the table. Beside Bella, Matt groaned.

"Save it," Mr. Whittier snapped before shoving the binder at Sean, the ASB president. "You people have three weeks. By then, we're going to need a theme, a budget, a system for ticket sales, and a court nominated and elected. The game is November third; the dance is the fourth."

"Why so early?" interrupted Erin.

Whittier shrugged, but Jake, the boys' athletics commissioner, answered her. "That's just how the numbers worked out. Something happened with the league, so there were fewer football teams in our league this year."

"Anyway," Whittier interrupted, "we don't really care. Now get moving."

He left the room for his standard coffee/breakfast run, and Sean, sighing, flipped open the binder to last year's file. "Okay, so the theme last year was 'Shadowplay,' because it was Halloween weekend or something. So we can't go there…."

"We can't do anything that this year's senior class will remember," Beki interjected. "Go back four years."

"How about this." Jesse stood. "Why don't we look at themes from other dances starting four years ago? Prom or Winter Formal or whatever." Nobody stopped him, so went and grabbed two more fat binders.

Forty-five minutes later, they had managed to limit their choices down to two: 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' and 'In the Jungle.' Brittany, the commissioner of special events, called for a vote.

"Somewhere Over the Rainbow," she called importantly, standing up to tally. Bella raised her hand and glanced around to see about two thirds of the class doing the same. Brittany shrugged. "Okay, then. Majority has it."

"Cool." Jesse closed the Prom and Formal notebooks and moved to replace them on their shelves. "Since that took way longer than it should have, we need to get moving tomorrow with floor plans and stuff. I nominate Bella as being in charge of the music."

Bella sighed. "Do I have to?"

"Yep."

The bell rang and they all packed up. Never mind that Bella was busy, or tired, or just not in the mood. She'd do it, though. She always did.

Bella hadn't seen her mother since the previous morning's walk-of-shame debacle, and she didn't really want to deal with her again just yet. During calc that afternoon, she asked Jasper if she could have dinner with him and his dad that night. He didn't ask why, and Bella didn't volunteer it. It wasn't so much that she didn't want him to know about what had happened with Renee yesterday – hell, he lived next door and had since they were born, so he knew what Bella's mother was like. It was more that she had already told Edward. It had the feel of something personal now, something tangible between the two of them. Something they could both lay claim to, if they wanted.

Did Bella want to? _Could_ she?

After her dad's death, she had diluted all her relationships – except my friendships with Jasper and Alice, who'd been her rocks through the funeral and the tumultuous five years thereafter. Bella had never allowed anyone new to get close. Was she capable of changing that now?

And was it even worth it? He'd already told her that he was leaving next summer. She'd had enough of being left. Maybe it was better to not even be in that position at all.

"Hey." She jumped at the sound of Jasper's voice from the driver's seat of his truck. "You awake?"

"Yeah." She passed a hand over her eyes.

"Long week," he said, smiling sympathetically. "Worse than usual this year?"

Bella was about to say yes, but then she remembered Edward's face yesterday morning, his arms wrapped around her as she finally allowed herself cry. "No," she realized. "It wasn't."

His eyebrows raised, but he didn't ask. Instead, he commented, "Alice's got a new song in the works. She won't show it to me."

"Yeah?"

He nodded. "I hate it when she does that, you know? We're all going to see it anyway."

"Hey, just because you've got no aversion to letting others see your works-in-progress doesn't mean the rest of us are immune."

"True." He pulled into his driveway and they both got out. Bella ignored her own house and Renee's car in the driveway, following Jasper up the slanting concrete and onto the porch while he dug around in his backpack for his key. He got the door unlocked and they stepped into the quiet; his dad was on the board of a company that did something involving insurance downtown, and didn't usually make it home before Jasper. His mom had left when Jasper and Alice and Bella were about six.

Despite the healthy income he had, Michael Montgomery refused to buy a house in the wealthier area of LA, or Beverly Hills, saying he'd rather have money in the bank than a house that was more trouble than it was worth. This proved useful when Danny, Jasper's brother who was four years older than him, had gotten into Pepperdine but not qualified for much financial aid.

Jasper dropped his keys on the shelf by the door and he and Bella both left their bags in the living room before heading into the kitchen. "Do we want to eat now?"

Bella shrugged. "Whatever you want is fine. It's your house."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Did you have lunch?"

She shifted. "Maybe," I muttered.

"Did you have dinner last night?" Bella didn't answer, and Jasper nodded grimly. "We'll eat now." He pulled open a drawer and extracted a pile of takeout menus. He fanned them out, holding them like a hand of playing cards. "Pick a menu, any menu."

Bella couldn't laugh. She shrugged and nudged forward the menu in the middle. Chinese. He picked up the phone and placed the order as she brought their school stuff in to the kitchen table. She sat down and started in on her APUSH reading. She realized that the class was already at the War of 1812. October was passing alarmingly fast. Jasper hung up and joined her, and she asked him what he was getting Alice for her birthday.

"Oh, I've been meaning to ask you," he said, pushing his book away. "Paramore's coming to town in March, and tickets go on sale in three weeks. Should we–"

Bella nodded with a good imitation of enthusiasm. "That'd be great. And you're brilliant, and I am forever grateful to you for not making me think."

He grinned and went back to his homework, but they'd been working for no more than fifteen minutes when he spoke again.

"Can I make an observation that is completely objective and not influenced by any personal feelings?"

Bella warily put her pen down on her notes and looked up at him. "That sounds ominous."

He tilted his chair back so that it balanced on two legs. "Maria doesn't seem happy."

Bella sighed and he held up his hands. "Let me finish," he pleaded, and she closed her mouth. He continued, "She doesn't smile as much as she did last year. I'm in English with her, she sits diagonal to me, and she hardly ever looks up in class. I'm sure it's The Boyfriend."

Bella raised and eyebrow. "Isn't Alice in that class, too?"

He shifted. "Yeah."

"And what does she think?"

"I haven't told her yet," he confessed, shrugging. "She'd just lecture me again about not asking her out when I had the chance or something."

Bella sighed. "I don't know what to tell you," she said. "I don't have any classes with her, I haven't since freshman bio. But you have to let her go, Jasper. She's not yours, and it's not up to you to look after her."

He glared at her. "Quit telling me to let her go. At least I have the sense to know when I've fallen for someone."

She felt her face change, and he was instantly apologetic. "Bella–"

"Jasper, stop. Not today. I don't want to think about it today."

"Okay," he replied, and bent his head back over his book. They worked in silence until the food came, and he got up to pay for it, waving off the money Bella extracted from her bag. Half an hour later, he asked for her help on a calc problem, and she talked him through it. But her mind was only half on any of it.

Because despite what she'd told Jasper, she _was_ thinking about it. About Edward. About how he'd told her that he understood her hurt, how he implied that he had his own tragedy somewhere. About how she could feel herself growing more and more attracted to him. About how something was changing for her. About how she had to stop it, whatever it was, now, before it hurt her too.

~oOo~

"_¿What're you doing?" she demanded, and Tony jumped and looked up from the comic he was reading. He knew that there was no right answer to that question. He also knew he had to try and answer it._

"_N-nothin'." He trembled. He didn't want her to come closer._

_She slapped him across the face. "You lyin' to me, Tony? That's not cool with me."_

"_I'm not–" He stopped. What did she want him to say? "I'm not lyin'."_

_She took a step closer, and another, before squatting in front of him. Her fake yellow hair looked old and gray in the late afternoon sun._

"_No_," Edward shouted, sitting up straight.

Jesus Christ, not _again_. That was the second one in five weeks. He fell back on his pillows and pressed his hands to his eyelids, trying to force out the memory of her face. "Leave me alone," he muttered to nobody.

Suddenly disgusted with himself, he threw the bedcovers off and left the room, heading for the kitchen. He was seventeen years old, and he'd seen worse than that and survived. So why the hell did it keep coming back to him? It didn't matter anymore, he thought as he passed through the dark house.

He filled a glass of water at the sink, not bothering with the water purifier thing in the fridge. Before he could drink any of it, the light snapped on behind him. He jumped and turned, hating how his body reacted in fear.

"Edward," Carlisle said, his hand still on the light switch. "Are you all right?"

"I – yeah," Edward muttered, turning back around. He'd forgotten that Carlisle was working the five AM to three PM shift in the emergency room this week. Edward looked at the clock over the stove, and it said four-oh-one. "I was just thirsty."

Carlisle walked towards his newer son, and Edward hated how the man's forehead wrinkled in worry. He told himself that he'd have to remember to keep a cup or something next to the bathroom sink so he could avoid crap like this. "Are you sure?" Carlisle asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I had–" Edward stopped himself before he could say the word, but Carlisle finished the sentence for him.

"A nightmare?"

There didn't seem a point to lying, so Edward just nodded, avoiding his eyes.

He was glad that Carlisle didn't touch him, but then he leaned up against the counter next to him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." Edward shook his head. "It doesn't matter. Dreams aren't real."

Carlisle stood there for another minute, appraising Edward, before he nodded. "All right. But if you change your mind, just come find me this afternoon."

"Sure."

Carlisle put his hand on Edward's shoulder for a second before he went out the back door to the garage. Edward stood where Carlisle had left him, watching him go. Carlisle was a good father – one only had to look at Emmett to know that. But Edward didn't need a father. What he needed was for everyone to stop thinking he _did_ need someone.

He went upstairs, showered, checked his homework – anything to avoid going back to sleep. When it was finally late enough to go down for breakfast, he picked up his stuff and went downstairs. Esme was already in there, with Emmett.

"Hey," Edward said, but didn't look at either of them as he went to pour himself some coffee.

"Good morning," Esme replied, smiling. "You're up early."

Edward shrugged. "Couldn't sleep."

"Ah." She dropped a pad of butter onto the griddle behind her and watched it melt and sizzle. "Emmett, why don't you go make sure you have all your homework ready for today?"

"Sure," Emmett replied, grinning, and got up and left the room. "Subtle, Mom. Really subtle."

Once he was gone, Esme pointed a wooden spoon at Edward's chest and planted her other hand on her hip. "You need to start telling us about these things so we don't find out about it first from the team's emails."

"What?" Edward was too tired to keep up with her.

"Your race next weekend, silly. Why didn't you tell us? We'll be there, of course, but it would have been nice to hear about it from you personally."

Edward stared at her.

"What is it?" she asked, concerned.

"You actually want to go?" he blurted out, and then clamped his mouth shut.

But Esme didn't look surprised. "Of course we do," she said quietly. "I know you're not used to people caring. But we're going to your race because we want to be there, and we want to be there because we like you and want to see you do well. That's why we go to Emmett's games." She reached out and touched her son's cheek lightly, smiled, and went back to cooking breakfast.

Edward said hardly anything as Emmett came back down the stairs, as all three of them ate, as, an hour later, he went out to the truck. Only when he'd pulled into a spot in the nearly full parking lot did he realize what the date was. October sixteenth. That meant that he'd been with the Cullens for a month and twenty-one days.

All around him, people beeped their cars locked, talked, laughed, walked onto campus. But Edward didn't move.

He'd made it more than a month. He was still here, still in the Cullens' custody, and so far, the only person who'd even mentioned relocation had been him. Esme had said that they were coming to his race on Friday. He hadn't been pulled in to talk to any administrators about switching schools.

The Cullens wanted to keep him, he realized. God knew why, but they wanted to keep him.

He didn't know how long he stood there before he shook himself and headed to class.

When he got to chem, Bella was sitting at their shared table, making notes on what looked like the rough draft of an essay. She looked up and smiled at him when he sat down. Just like the day before, she didn't mention how she'd cried, and he didn't either. He wanted to ask if she was okay, though, and that bugged him, because he didn't know why he even cared so much. Or he did know and just really didn't want to deal with it.

"Hi," she said.

"Hey." Edward glanced at the paper. "The Wolberg essay. Due in two weeks, right?"

"Mm-hm." She crossed out a sentence and rewrote it above the line.

"Yours?"

She shook her head. "No, it's a friend's. She asked me to proof it for her."

"Do people do that a lot?" he asked.

She nodded. "I don't mind," she told him, and paused. She tilted her head and looked at him again. "You want me to look at yours?"

"Uh," Edward said, startled. "Sure. I mean, if you have time."

"I have time." She smiled again. "And anyway, I owe you one."

He looked at her in confusion for a minute before he realized she was talking about two days ago. He shook his head. "No, you don't."

Bella put her pen down and looked at him, earnest now. "I do, though. You didn't have to take all that trouble for me. And you certainly didn't have to listen." Edward opened his mouth to argue, but she interrupted him. "Listen, just let me proof your essay, and we'll let it go if it makes you feel better. Okay?"

"Why?" he demanded.

Her eyebrows pulled together. "Why let it go?"

"No, why do you feel like you owe me?"

She sighed, and looked away. Edward frowned. He wanted her to look back up – it was easier to guess what she was thinking that way. "Because it was important," she said quietly, almost like she was talking to herself. He saw that far-off look in her eyes he'd seen the other morning. "It mattered to me. And…." She hesitated, blushing a little, then shrugged. "That's it, really. I want to make it up to you."

Edward was glad Miss Somerset opened the lesson then, because he didn't have the first damn clue how to respond to that one._ "It mattered to me. And…_" And what?

Already, today was pretty damn weird. And it didn't get better for a while.

When he walked into pre-calc third period, Mr. Taylor was handing back the second test they had taken. Edward's was already on his desk, facedown, when he took his seat. Slowly, he turned it over.

Forty-one percent.

"_Fuck_," he hissed under his breath and slammed it back down. The girl in front of him, Leah, who was on the girls' JV cross country team, turned around and raised her eyebrows at him, then glanced at the facedown test. Wordlessly, she faced front again.

Edward didn't hear much of the lesson, which, all things considered, wasn't really helpful. He had _told_ Esme he couldn't pull honors classes, and she'd ignored him, and look what had happened.

There was a minute of panic when Edward didn't remember if there was anything in his contract about school. He was sure there was – there always had been before. Shit, if there was….

He shook it off. He hadn't actually done anything else to get himself in trouble, except for that thing in the locker room with Chris Janssen, and it looked like Emmett had kept that one to himself. Without this test, his grade in the class would've been a C. Not perfect, but passing. He didn't even want to think about what his grade was now.

When the bell rang he shoved the test into the cover of his book and was the first one out of the classroom. He didn't want Leah or anyone to ask him exactly what he _had_ gotten. He pushed his way to the front of the crowd at the stairs and went down without looking where he was going. Which was how he managed to walk into Bella. Again.

"Shit, I'm sorry," he muttered, but at least he didn't knock her down this time.

"It's fine," she replied automatically, smiling, and then looked into his face again. "Edward, what's wrong?"

Without saying anything, he took the test back out and handed it to her. They stepped out of the direct line of traffic by the stairs, and she looked down at it. She saw the score and grimaced, then began flipping through it, studying the problems. "Ah."

"Yeah. And if my grades slip, the system'll take me out of the Cullens' house." Edward ran a hand roughly through his hair as he stared across campus. "My grade wasn't all that great to begin with, and doesn't the quarter end soon?"

"Last Friday in October," she replied, handing it back. "So not really. There's time. You guys should be starting the trig unit next, right?"

He looked back at her. "What?"

"The trigonometry unit," she repeated patiently. "Isn't that what's due up next?"

"I – I think so." Why did she care?

"Good." She nodded briskly. "So I'll tutor you."

"Really?" Edward raised an eyebrow, not believing it. "First my essay and now my math class? Bella, you don't owe me anything."

"I'm not doing it because I owe you," she retorted, looking almost like he'd insulted her or some shit. "You remember that conversation we had on the second day of school, about you dropping out?" She waited for Edward to nod before going on. "I'm trying to give myself the opportunity to say I told you so. I'm hoping that if your grades stay up enough, you won't quit. So this is purely selfish, because I like being right."

Edward laughed; he couldn't help it. "I'd actually really like it. How much do you charge?"

"I don't." She held up a hand, shutting him up. "And don't argue, or we're both going to be late to class. I have rehearsal today, but if you want, I can come by your house around four-thirty tomorrow afternoon."

Her chin came up, and Edward was pretty sure it'd be a bad idea to argue. He agreed, "Fine. Thank you. You know how to get there?"

"Of course." She'd started to walk away, and said this last over her shoulder. "I was at that kickback, remember? The one you bailed on." She smiled again and disappeared into the crowd.

He shook his head and went to class. At least he had a shot at help.

He turned in his summer assignments to Mrs. Wolberg a full week before she expected them, earning him a couple of points with her. She didn't look as surprised as he expected – it wasn't exactly a secret that he'd been a gangbanger in Tucson, and he'd thought it would shock her that he was in her class at all, let alone being responsible about it. But she just accepted the papers like it was the easiest thing in the world to do. And they took notes in APUSH, so nothing else bad could happen there. During practice, he made sure he got back from the run in the middle of the pack and then got up quickly after dismissal. In the locker room, he avoided Chris Janssen, trying to ignore the way Emmett kept glancing at him.

But he needed help. "Emmett," Edward asked as soon as they were outside. "What would Esme and Carlisle say if I failed a test?"

Emmett grinned. "Hypothetically?"

"Yeah."

His brother shrugged. "They wouldn't shout or anything, they'd just do the disappointment thing. Which is worse, in my opinion. If, _hypothetically_, it was your first F all year, not just in that particular class but in anything, and if we still had a couple of weeks to go before quarter, I wouldn't bother. It's not worth the headache."

"For real?" Edward asked, wary.

"Yeah," Emmett assured him, clapping Edward on the back. "And I won't rat you out."

"I didn't think you would." Emmett looked at Edward skeptically and he insisted, "I didn't. If I did, you think I'd've brought it up at all?"

Emmett raised his eyebrows. "You finally decided to trust us?"

Edward hesitated before answering. "I'm not sure yet."

Emmett shrugged, shaking his head in something that almost looked like disgust, but left it at that. And when they got home, he challenged Edward to an epic _Call of Duty_ battle on the Xbox, and for the first time, Edward accepted. He even had fun with it, pretending he didn't know how to play at first, and then wiping the floor with Emmett's ass. Several times. Even after Emmett figured out Edward was messing with him.

Three hours later, Emmett was staring at the screen with his mouth open. "You are a dirty rat bastard liar."

"Yeah," Edward grinned. "Go again?"

"Hell, yes." Emmett sat forward and set his face. "I'm not losing to you."

Edward raised his eyebrows. "Then what do you call the last seven rounds?"

"I was going easy on you at first," Emmett defended himself indignantly. "And after that they were flukes."

The doorbell rang, and Esme left her study to go answer it. Edward didn't pay much attention until he heard a voice – a voice he recognized – ask for Tony. He froze, and Emmett shot him.

Emmett whooped, but Edward ignored him, dropping his control and standing, facing the door. Esme had stepped aside for James – he was in a suit, his tats covered, and he looked perfectly respectable – and was about to invite him in. Edward strode forward.

"That's okay, Esme, we'll talk on the porch." _Hell no you are not getting inside this house_. And, ignoring her confusion, Edward stepped outside and shut the door before turning to face James.

This may have been Peter's brother but it wasn't Peter – Edward couldn't just intimidate him and make him swear to him like he had that night outside Talbot's and that'd be it. He had to be polite. "James."

"Anthony," he rumbled in reply. Edward could see the discoloration where he'd used some sort of cover-up to hide the tattooed teardrops by his eye. James was only a few years older than Edward, but the suit and the hairstyle – combed instead of covered with a bandana – made him look at least twenty-five. "Long time. How you been?"

Edward shrugged, waiting for him to get to the point. The less time they wasted, the sooner James would be gone. Hopefully.

James looked over Edward's shoulder, like he could still see into the house through the closed door. "So you're living the good life here, aren't you? New family, new clothes – I noticed you've been lasered." He stared at the place on Edward's bicep where the AG symbol used to be.

"Why are you here, James?"

"Well, nobody sent me," he said, holding up his hands and smiling. "I'm not even strapped." Edward didn't believe it, but if James could tell he ignored it and kept talking. "I'm here because Peter was confused, and didn't know what to do with his two conflicting oaths. Aro doesn't know I'm here."

Edward cursed internally. He'd been so stupid to believe Peter.

"I just want to know," James continued like they were friends, "why you believe that you were jumped out."

"Because the intent was to kill me and I survived."

"Ah," James smiled, holding up a finger. "But it was interrupted."

"Were you there?"

James shook his head. "No, but I heard about it. My little brother felt quite bad about it. He told me he hadn't really wanted to hurt you."

Edward said nothing to that, but he took his turn to speak, keeping his voice low. "I wasn't the narc, James. I don't know who ran to the cops, but it wasn't me."

James shrugged. "Doesn't matter now, man. The point is that you owe them your loyalty and you left. You could've come back and you didn't."

"James–" Edward broke off, looking into the street. It was so quiet, so domestic… across the street he could see a bike lying in the lawn where the little girl who owned it had left it when she'd had to go inside for dinner. "I'm trying to do better. Okay? I'm trying to just leave it, and be safe another way."

"By relying on rich people?" James demanded, the calm breaking for a second. "I don't think so." He was about to say something else, but the front door opened. Edward looked towards it, prepared to turn Esme away again, but it wasn't her.

"Is there a problem?" asked Emmett, his eyes on James as he snapped the door shut again behind him.

"No," Edward snapped, but it was too late – James had seen Emmett's face. He'd recognize him again.

James shook his head, hitching his smile back into place. "Of course not. Just having a conversation with Tony about where his loyalties should be – who protected him when he needed it."

"Yeah, a damn good job you guys did of it when you beat him to a pulp," Emmett retorted. "Leave him alone. It was a jumping out. He hasn't informed on any of you since, he hasn't gone to the cops."

"What–" Edward started, glaring at him, wishing he'd go back inside.

"You were covered in scars and tattoos when you came to live with us, and my parents had to sign your medical history papers," Emmett said without looking at Edward. "And I came this close to landing in it too, remember? It wasn't hard to guess."

James was watching Emmett too. "It seems I misjudged him," he said slowly. "If you're telling me the truth, and he didn't betray us even after the fact…." He stopped and looked at Edward, then he shook his head, muttering, "No. He still swore to us on his jumping in. And he left us."

"You would have killed me for something I didn't do!" Edward almost shouted, losing his temper for the first time. Emmett shot him a warning look, but Edward ignored him.

James nodded again. "True. I have much to think about," he said, still smiling. "I'll leave you now. But just so you know, Tony, I don't plan on telling them where you are. All I'm concerned about is what _I'm_ going to do." He turned to go. "I'm parked around the block – I didn't want any of your foster family members to see the car – I'm sure you understand."

And with a last smile, he went down the steps. Edward waited until he'd turned the corner at the end of the block before going back inside. When he did, he pounded straight upstairs to his room, and he didn't notice that Emmett was following him until he'd pulled his duffel bag out from under the bed.

"What're you doing?"

"Nothing is going to happen to any of you," Edward said, going to the closet and pulling out clothes. "I promise."

Emmett leaned against the doorjamb and folded his arms. "Doesn't look like you can guarantee that, Edward."

"I know. I don't want you people involved in my problems." Edward stuffed the bundle of clothes into the bag. "That's why I'm leaving."

Emmett snorted. "The hell you are. When they endanger my family, they become my problems too."

Edward shook his head, thinking out loud. "I can't stay here. When I'm gone, and they see I've left here, they'll leave you guys alone. They'll know I wouldn't tell you where I was going. You'll all be safe."

"I wasn't just talking about Esme and Carlisle, Edward," Emmett said quietly, and Edward heard but didn't listen at first. But when his words registered, Edward stopped what he was doing and looked at his foster brother. Emmett met his eyes as he continued, "You're family. Whether you like it or not. Now put your shit back, and let's go talk to Carlisle."

Edward hesitated, and Emmett sighed in exasperation and unpacked the bag, putting the stuff back in the closet and throwing the bag under the bed. Then he motioned Edward out the door and followed him down the hall.

They stopped at Carlisle's office and Emmett knocked. After the invitation to enter, he pushed open the door, motioned Edward inside, and shut it behind them. Carlisle looked up from the file on his desk, his hazel eyes worried. "What's wrong?"

Emmett sat down in one of the two chairs in front of the desk. Edward reluctantly did the same, and Emmett motioned to him. "Tell him."

Edward looked from Emmett to his father, the man who was willing to be Edward's father if he'd let him, and realized maybe he wasn't alone. It wasn't like he was suddenly a believer in the family system, or that he thought he'd be safe through the power of their healing love or anything. It was just that he knew, suddenly, that these people were willing to help him, and his life would be easier if he accepted their help.

So he told Carlisle. Not just about that night, but also about the night at Talbot's, and the exact circumstances and consequences of his beating. When he finished, Carlisle was quiet for a long time. He took his glasses off and stared out the black window adjacent to the desk. "He came here," Carlisle mused, and Edward froze, sure Carlisle was going to call his caseworker and have him taken away. _Better_.

Emmett interrupted. "I believe him when he said he came of his own volition, Dad. I know gangbangers, I know drug dealers. When they come to intimidate, they come in groups. Three, at least."

Carlisle nodded. "That's as may be, but tomorrow we go to the police. We should inform the school, as well." Now he looked at Edward. "I'm not going to force you, but I'd suggest that you spend as little time in public as you can. No need to make it easier for them." He stood up. "Dinner should be ready soon."

"Wait," Edward said as Emmett stood too. "You're not going to send me back to the system?"

Carlisle looked at him like he was honestly surprised he'd suggest that. "Of course not. You're safer here with us than you'd be at Saguaro House."

"That's not what I–"

Now Carlisle's face changed as he understood. He came forward and put a hand on Edward's shoulder. "Edward. Don't worry. We're not going to turn you out just because of this." He smiled. "We weren't planning on ever turning you out at all, actually."

"Told you so," muttered Emmett.

**Review for me?**


	8. Chapter 8

**Merry Christmas Eve, to those who celebrate!**

**Chapter Eight**

Edward tried to never ask for help from anyone, because, in his life, when you needed help, people either screwed you over or made your problems worse. When he had needed protection, he'd been pulled into a world where he spent half his life dodging bullets. And the foster care system, which was supposed to provide help of the most basic kind for kids, placed those kids in houses that… sometimes didn't exactly work out. So he was a little nervous about having Bella tutor him.

Carlisle got Edward excused from practice that day so he could take him down to the nearest police precinct to file a report about James, then dropped Edward off back at the house before he went back to work. Emmett was still at school for football and Rosalie, and Esme's last class on Fridays didn't break until five, so Edward was alone in the house until practice broke. He went out to the backyard and crouched by the pool, dangling his fingers in the water. He'd never been in this pool. He didn't want to admit that he didn't have a suit, because then Emmett would give Edward one of his, and then Edward owe him. More than he already did.

The sandstone was hot from the sunlight it'd absorbed, but Edward shifted anyway so he was sitting on the ground and looked up into the sky. In this part of town, so far away from the center of the city, there wasn't really any smog, and the sky actually looked blue. A couple of fat white clouds drifted across it. Edward remembered learning in eighth grade – in an overcrowded classroom surrounded by other AG – that when clouds were moving, it meant that there was a wind higher up in the atmosphere that people couldn't feel down on earth. It had seemed like a cheap trick to him at the time. The guy next to him, whose name he couldn't remember now, had whispered why the smog stayed so low over the city, then. Edward thought back to Tucson – his last foster mom's apartment had been in a complex right next to the twelve-lane freeway, and the smell of smog was always there.

How had he gotten from there to here? And how did he feel so _comfortable_ here, in a place so far from what had been his real life for seventeen years?

Maybe it still _was_ his real life, he thought wryly, remembering what had happened at the precinct. With his past experience with police stations, it really wasn't surprising that the same fight-or-flight instinct kicked in. Edward had swallowed it, though, and reminded himself that he hadn't done anything wrong. But it didn't help that everyone – from the lady at the front desk to the guy who took Edward's statement – had looked at him like he was nothing. Just a punk, part of the brown trash they had to clean up from their streets.

Carlisle had stayed next to Edward the whole time, which was something Edward had never had before – someone on his side when he was around cops.

Which got Edward back to Bella. The whole time they'd been at the station yesterday, half Edward's mind was wondering if any of these cops had been her dad's partner, had been with him when he was gunned down. A chill crept over Edward as he realized something: he could've known the guy who killed Charlie Swan.

He shook his head. Doubtful. The only gang he'd ever run with had been in Tucson, and Phoenix wasn't their territory. Still, though. He'd probably been killed by someone _like_ Edward – or at least how Edward used to be.

How much status was a cop-killing worth to the AG?

Edward jumped as the glass door behind him slid open. He turned around as Rosalie seated herself beside him, taking off one sandal and dangling her leg in the water. "Hi."

"Hey." Edward didn't know how much Emmett had told her about last night. He looked back at the water, waiting for her to talk, and mostly kind of wishing that she'd go away.

"So what's up?"

He glanced at her suspiciously. Did she really want to just _talk_? "Nothing," he answered warily. "I mean, someone's coming over to help me with homework in about half an hour…."

Rosalie nodded, reaching up to mess with the ribbon she had wrapped around the base of her ponytail. "Yeah, Bella told me about that. Emmett and me are gonna leave so it'll be easier for you guys to concentrate. He's in the shower now, but as soon as he finishes, we're leaving."

"Okay," Edward mumbled. _This is weird…._

He looked up to see her staring at him, and he noticed for the first time how _piercing_ her blue eyes were. Like she was trying to read him. "All right, then."

"Rosalie…."

"Yeah?" She turned back expectantly.

"Why's Emmett in foster care?" Edward blurted. He didn't know where the question came from, but he really wanted to know the answer. He knew he should've asked Emmett before now, but he hadn't, and Rosalie probably knew the answer.

She laughed. "Have you asked him?"

"No," Edward muttered. "At first I didn't… didn't care, and now it'd just be kind of weird. And something he said last night…." He cut himself off and just stared at her.

Rosalie studied him for another second before turning away. "Where do I start?" she asked herself, looking out across the pool. "Okay, so his parents were never married, and he lived with his mom because his dad's a trailer truck driver – he's all over the country all the time." She looked up at Edward, and he nodded. She continued, "His mother couldn't hold a job to save her life, 'cause she apparently didn't like getting up in the morning or talking to people, and most jobs that don't require a college diploma need at least one of those skills. When Emmett was eight, she just kind of left him alone in their apartment. The super noticed, and he called CPS."

"He was _eight_?" Edward repeated.

"Yeah." She shrugged. "His dad didn't want to take him, I don't think he could afford to, and there wasn't any other family. So he got put into the system. When he was thirteen, everybody in his foster family was a user. He started out on just marijuana, but eventually got into the hard stuff. When he was fifteen, he was arrested for possession. Since it was his first offence, he just had some community service, and then he was moved to the Cullens. Lucky for him."

"Damn," Edward whispered. "That sucks. Not the last part, but everything before it."

"It does, doesn't it?" Rosalie asked conversationally. "I think he still hears from his dad on occasion – he sends birthday cards, and calls every few months. Emmett said he got married a couple of years ago."

They both looked up at the sky for a while before Edward said, "You don't have to leave. It's Emmett's house."

She stared at him for another minute, and he wondered if she was going to say anything else. But she just nodded, stood up, and replied, "We're going anyway. There's some stuff I want to get from the mall, and Emmett already said yes."

Before Edward could answer, she put her shoe back on and went inside, sliding the glass door shut behind her. He stared at it, seeing his reflection in its dark surface. He looked so out of place here, in the middle of suburbia. But he couldn't picture where he _did_ belong. Up until a couple weeks ago, he'd have said he belonged on the streets of Tucson, or in the AG warehouse. But he couldn't see himself in those places anymore.

He sighed and got up. The house was quiet again when he reentered it, and all his movements sounded really loud as he shifted his school stuff to the kitchen table. Just as he went to the fridge and pulled out a couple bottles of water, he heard a car pull up in the driveway. He glanced out the window, then moved to open the front door as Bella got out of her car.

"Hey!" she called as she came up the porch steps. Edward nodded and let her in.

It occurred to him then that he had no idea what the correct social protocol was in tutoring sessions. He shifted.

"Uh. I thought we could work in the kitchen," he muttered, leading her down the hall and back to where he'd left his school stuff. The two water bottles he'd taken out and left on the counter were going all condensation now, and little puddles of water had formed around them.

But Bella seemed to know what to do. "Cool," she smiled, and placed her bag on the table next to his. Edward was glad she sat down without him needing to offer her a chair or anything. "So get out that test."

"Why?" he asked, even as he sat down and handed it to her. "The material's over."

She shook her head. "This isn't like English. You don't just finish the novel and then forget everything you learn so you can go on to the next one. Math builds on itself. You have to understand everything that went before to understand what comes next." She swept her hair up and pulled it over one shoulder, letting it fall between us. A couple of the curls brushed his hand, and he moved it away. He didn't think she noticed.

"So what we're going to do now is look at all the questions you missed, and work through them again." She chose a pen and motioned him to get out a fresh sheet of lined paper. "Here." She pointed to number two, the first one he'd gotten wrong. "What did you do?"

He tried not to be distracted by the smell of her hair as he took the test from her and picked up his own pencil.

It didn't go like he thought it would. What he'd expected was something like class, where she'd lecture him and make him do practice problems until he got it right. Instead, she kept him working on the same problem as long as it took, and she didn't tell him how to do any of it. She just pointed out steps and options, and let him pick. An hour and a half later, Edward realized that he'd not just fixed his whole test (which made him really proud and really frustrated at the same time) but he'd gotten through the homework assignment for that night.

"Damn." He put the pencil down. "Thank you. How'd you do that?"

She laughed. "I'm not doing anything. This is working because you want it to. Congratulations." She pulled the sheet with his homework towards herself, checking it, as she asked, "Is there anything else you want to go over? Like, for chem or anything?"

"Nah, I'm good," he replied, even though he really wanted her to stay. "Besides, I've eaten up enough of your own homework time, haven't I?"

She waved her hand. "Don't worry about it." He thought she was about to say something else, but Esme came into the kitchen just then. She'd gotten home half an hour ago, but had just smiled and left the two of them alone. Now, she asked Bella if she could stay for dinner.

For the first time since she'd gotten there, Bella glanced at her watch and apologized, "I'm sorry, I can't. I need to get going. Thanks, though." Even though she'd just told Edward to not feel bad about taking up her time, he felt a lock of guilt. She saw, and smiled at him. "Don't worry. My lowest grade at the moment is a ninety-two in calc. I'll survive." She handed his homework back to him, and his hand brushed her fingers as he took it. He swallowed hard and put it down before standing.

"Yeah," he rejoined as he walked her down the hall, "but I'm guessing your grades are so good because you bust your ass every night."

She glanced down over her shoulder. "Well, my ass is still there, so I don't think that's it."

He laughed out loud. "See you tomorrow. And thanks," he repeated, as he opened the door for her.

"No problem." She smiled as she walked out into the orange light of the setting sun. Edward waited until she was in her car before he closed the door. There was something weird about the guilt in my gut, he noticed. It wasn't going away….

Shit, it wasn't guilt. It was disappointment. He didn't want her to leave.

Shaking his head, he went back to the kitchen to move his books and set the table for Esme. She'd pulled her reddish-brown hair into a knot at the base of her skull, and she smiled at Edward. "It'll just be us and Carlisle tonight. Emmett called, and he and Rosalie are going out."

"Okay." Edward put one of the place mats back.

"Edward…" she started, and he cringed a little, worried she'd ask him about Bella. But instead, she said something that was almost worse. "Can I just say that I'm really proud of you? You're putting a lot of effort into everything you're doing."

"Esme–"

"Let me finish." She held up her hand. "You've come a long way in a short period of time. I respect you for that, especially because I know it can't be easy."

He didn't know what to say, so he just nodded and went back to what he was doing. The thing about coming a long way is that you have to be really messed up to begin with, just so you can catch up to everyone else. So maybe it's not a compliment at all.

As they carried their gear out the back door of a club, the name of which Bella already forgotten, at around one thirty on Saturday morning, Alice asked Markus, "How much exactly were we being paid for that? 'Cause if you sold us short again, I'll be slightly irritated."

"Alice," Jasper and Bella both said, in matching warning tones, but Markus cut them off.

"Enough to pay for that tech support that we need for the website," he snapped. "And I'm sorry if you can't afford that new set of eyeshadow or whatever the fuck–"

Alice's eyes flashed. "Hey, just because I don't stuff every single penny I earn into the bank doesn't make me a shallow dumb girl, Markus. Get off my back. All I wanted to know is if you're still taking whatever damn job comes up, rather than anything that pays enough to compensate for the lost study time."

"Enough," Bella barked, adjusting the guitar strap over her shoulder and overriding Markus as he opened his mouth furiously. She wondered, ignoring the beat of the canned dance music that reverberated through the wall of the club behind her, if there would ever come a day when they could pack up after a late night show and not really just want to strangle each other. "It's been a long day, okay? Can we just go?"

Nobody answered her, but Nick nodded handed Markus the keys to the van. "Meet you back home?" he asked, and Markus nodded. Nick, Jasper, and Alice turned and got into Nick's car, and Bella slipped into the passenger seat of the van.

Once they got on the freeway, she put her feet up on the dashboard, because she knew Markus would let her get away with it. He glanced at her and asked, "We've got another show on Wednesday night. Do you want to call an extra rehearsal this week?"

Bella sighed, tilting her head back. "Markus, it's just a half-hour set for recurring clients. Nobody cares. And anyway, I can't. I'm tutoring someone, and we've got the Homecoming dance to plan. And then there's this little thing called _homework_."

He waved his hand impatiently. "Homework doesn't matter. Not really."

Bella smiled. "Some of us don't have the luxury of senioritis. Or of knowing that we've got guaranteed acceptance into our parents' college."

"Still, though. Do you ever get the feeling you're working too hard?" he asked, eyeing her speculatively.

"Constantly. Why?"

He shook his head, grinning. "Nothing. It'd bother most people, is all."

"I'm not most people."

"Oh, I know."

An occupational hazard of spending so much time with someone who looked like Edward Masen, especially when there was an entirely one-sided attraction on your part, was that you had to deal with other girls' infatuation with him and speculation about what, if anything, was going on between the two of you. Monday afternoon, Bella's butt had been in her seat in English for exactly three seconds when it started.

"Oh, my God," she heard Taryn, a blonde girl from Advanced Dance, squealed to her friends. "You guys know Edward Masen, the new guy? Like, he's Emmett Hastings's foster brother or whatever?" Once she'd gotten the little noises of acknowledgement from her friends, she continued breathlessly and with some weird kind of perverse pleasure for gossip, "Chris Janssen's going around telling people that Edward tried to jump him after practice last week."

Bella sat up straight, but picked up the book on her desk and pretended to read.

"What _happened_?" asked one of Taryn's friends.

"Well," said Taryn with unnecessary relish, "my boyfriend was there, and he said that Edward didn't try to jump Chris – Chris, like, came over to him and started talking smack about Bella." Her voice dropped to a stage whisper, and Bella could almost feel that entire group turn to face her. She kept her eyes fixed on her book, even as her ears strained to pick up their lowered voices.

Another girl, Mia, gasped. "So he _hit_ him?"

"Yeah," Taryn said, her eyes sparkling. "It was, like, super-dramatic. I would kill to have two guys fighting over me. I'm sure Edward totally wants to be with Bella. How weird would that be, right? She'd so never go for him. It'd ruin her perfect reputation."

_Don't blush. Don't blush, don't blush, don't blush…. _Bella squirmed, trying to ignore the implied insult. Thank God Alice wasn't here.

"Taryn, come on," Marissa hissed. "Do you even know him? I mean, beyond a casual word here and there? Because I have chem with both of them, and I'm pretty sure they're just friends. I don't think he dates."

"Uh, _yeah_ I know him." There was now a ring of authority in Taryn's voice. "In case you haven't noticed, he's _hot_. Like, every girl in cheer and dance made a point of talking to him the first week of school. But, like, thank God Rosalie Riverton's going out with Emmett. Otherwise, we all know she'd get him first. Lucky me."

"Don't you _have_ a boyfriend?"

Taryn snorted. "I may be taken, but I'm not, like,_ dead_ or anything. And like I said, Bella would never go for him anyway. So maybe he'll need comforting after that final rejection."

Bella's near-choking on her own spit was covered by Mrs. Wolberg standing up at the front of the room and telling the class to flip to the beginning of part three of _Heart of Darkness_, otherwise known as the most evil piece of print ever published since the death of Johannes Gutenberg. Which was just as well, because Bella realized that Taryn was wrong. She was wrong, and Bella was just beginning to realize that herself.

Because she _did_ want to be with Edward. And what was stopping him was the oldest reason in the world. She didn't want to give him the chance to reject her. Even if she was sure that sometimes, she felt something the same from him, she still wasn't willing to open herself up like that. She had already exposed to him a part of herself that she never shared with anyone except her two closest friends. Granted, he hadn't laughed, and Bella was sure that he hadn't told anyone, but he hadn't spoken to her about it since. She didn't know if it was because she had made him feel uncomfortable, or if he was just respecting her space. She could have just asked him. But she didn't.

It was cowardice, she knew. She wasn't proud of it, and if it had been Alice in her situation and Alice had come to her for advice, Bella would have told her to go for it. But Bella wasn't Alice. She didn't have Alice's confidence, or her strength. If Bella was shut down by someone as important to her as Edward had somehow become, she didn't know that she could deal with it.

And as for those rumors about a fight in the locker room, Bella dismissed them. Of course Edward hadn't gotten into a fight for her. She wasn't worth it to him. She shook her head and placed her fingertips to her temple. But, God, she wished it was true.

But the subject seemed to follow her over the next few days. Edward was waiting for her at the door Wednesday morning before chemistry; with a huge grin she'd never seen on his face, he handed her a pre-calc quiz he'd taken the day before. She smiled at the eighty-eight percent at the top of it, and hugged him in congratulations, but let go very quickly. He held on a beat longer than she did; there was this weird little dance as they tried to pull apart. The air between them was awkward for the entire rest of the class and Bella blessed providence that Miss Somerset was giving lecture notes all period, so she didn't need to talk to him. When Rosalie saw the two of them coming out of the classroom together but not talking, Bella still red in the face, she shot her a significant look, which Bella ignored.

Bella was so out of it that she had completely forgotten about another one of her problems until fourth period, when she saw Sean again in physics.

He slapped a manila envelope onto the lab table. "Homecoming tickets. One for you and one for a date."

Bella eyed the envelope. "You mean the game, right?" she asked. She didn't have a good history with school dances.

"No," said Sean, "but we all have to go to that, too. Those are for the dance."

"Oh, no," Bella shook her head. "Why do I have to go to the dance? I don't even have a date."

Sean looked at Bella like she'd just informed him that the moon actually was made of green cheese. "Hasn't anyone asked you?"

Bella flushed. "That's not the point." She had been asked – and she'd said no.

"So ask someone yourself, then." He waved a hand impatiently. "It's not like it matters who does the asking. Your tickets are already paid for."

"Let me clarify," Bella told him, sitting up straighter. "I don't have a date because I don't want to have a date! I don't want to go!"

Sean sighed as Mr. DeWitt started collecting the homework. "How about this," he offered. "You stay for two hours, just so people see you, then you can leave. Okay?"

"You're not asking me because I have a choice, are you?"

"Nope." He grinned, and turned back around.

"Yay!" Bella lightly clapped her hands together as Edward put down his pencil, grinning at the pre-calc homework in front of him. He was a quick study; the most she'd ever needed to explain something to him was twice. Privately, she wondered why he understood her lessons and not his teacher's.

Almost like he'd heard her thoughts, he asked, "Why is it easy now? Why can't I get it in class?"

Bella shrugged, unfolding her legs and placing her feet on the tile of the Cullens' kitchen floor. "Some people need repetition, is all. Alice's like that with chem."

He tilted his chair back so that it was balancing on two legs. "Maybe," he allowed, still smiling as he looked at her. "Either that or you're just brilliant or something."

"I'm not," Bella said, even though his comment set her glowing inside.

A lock of his bronze hair fell in front of his eyes. She wanted to push it back. She wanted to reach over and run a hand through his hair, like he was always doing.

Instead she shook herself mentally, stood, and packed up her things. "You did really well this afternoon – you're making me feel bad. I really need to get going and go start on my own homework." Again, she tried not to feel overwhelmed at the thought that she was losing a night of homework tomorrow, because after dinner, she was going dress shopping with Rosalie and Alice. The three of them – or rather Alice and Rosalie – had made plans for it today at lunch after Bella complained that she had nothing to wear to the dance.

Edward let his chair fall to the floor with a bang. "Yeah. I should start on my APUSH reading." He paused, then asked, "You okay? You look weird."

Bella made a face at him, and since she couldn't tell him what was really bothering her, she just talked about how she'd found out she was being forced into Homecoming.

"Oh yeah, the dance." He shrugged. "Emmett's making me go, too. Says it's part of the high school experience I've been missing out on or some shit like that."

He glanced up at Bella; her heart froze, then began pounding. For a second she thought he was going to ask her. But then he looked away and said, "Whatever. I'll just leave early when he's not looking."

Bella forced a smile. "Sounds like a plan." She slipped an arm through the straps of my bag. "See you tomorrow?" It came out like a question.

"Yeah." He was still staring out the window, preoccupied suddenly. "See you."

Bella stared at him for another instant, then turned and left the kitchen. She waved at Rosalie, Emmett, and Riley, who were playing some video game in the living room, and let herself out of the house, swallowing the disappointment that had congealed into a lump in my throat.

Edward heard her leave, but he didn't turn around until he was sure she was out of the house. Then he stood, trying to shake off the feeling that he'd just missed an opportunity. No way would she have said yes to him, if he'd asked her to the stupid dance.

He stuck all his homework back in his backpack, and was going to go up to his room, but then Rosalie strode into the kitchen and glared at me. "Sit," she ordered.

Edward raised his eyebrows – didn't she have her own house to go to? – but he sat. She, however, kept standing, her hands on her hips. "I just heard you guys. Would you care to explain to me what the hell that was?"

"What are you talking about?" Edward asked, even though he thought he had an idea.

"You care about her. Why didn't you ask her to Homecoming?"

"I don't care about her," Edward protested, then stuttered, realizing what he'd said. "I mean, yeah I care about her, but not like–"

"Don't give me shit," Rosalie snapped, and he blinked. "Spill. Is it because of the Tucson gang stuff? You scared she'll judge you? That she'll run away from the big bad Latino–"

"I'm scared she'll get hurt!" Edward interrupted, and he realized he'd shouted. Rosalie stared at him and dropped her hands from her hips. In the living room, Riley shouted a cuss word as he got shot and died.

Edward turned away from Rosalie to stare out the window, as his words caught up to him.

"I can't do it, Rosalie," he said quietly. "I won't do it to her."

"Do what?" she asked, and her voice was as low as his. He heard a chair scrape against the tile floor and knew she'd sat down next to him.

"Get her in all the shit in my life," Edward explained, turning to face her. Her forehead was wrinkled, like she was trying to process what he was saying. "I _do _care about her. A lot." He made himself stop there.

Rosalie started to smile, but then Edward said, "And that's why I should stay away from her."

"Before we get to that part, _what_ shit, exactly? It's over, isn't it? It's done. You left it in Tucson."

Edward opened his mouth, but then closed it. If Emmett still hadn't told her about James's visit, he'd probably had a reason. Instead, Edward said, "This isn't my life, Rosalie. I don't belong here."

"Only because you're fighting it so hard," she rejoined, getting angry again. "I know you plan on ditching the Cullens as soon as you turn eighteen, I mean, Emmett told me he was the same way. But what good is that? They'd be your family – a true family – if you'd let them. And you've got not only the Cullens, but also a girl who wants to be with you. Explain to me why you want to throw all that away."

Edward shook his head. "You wouldn't get it."

"Yeah? Try me."

It was quiet for another couple of minutes before Edward said, hearing the defeat in his own voice, "Look, it's not worth anyone's effort to fix me. I'm too broken."

"That's not true." She said it simply, calmly, like they were arguing about the weather. "Either part. You're never so broken that you can't be fixed. And it's worth their effort because you're part of their family." She stood and headed for the kitchen. "But it's up to you whether you want them to be part of yours."

**Hopefully you enjoyed... What do we think of Edward's motives? Review for me!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

The Homecoming game is traditionally a high school football team's last home game of the season, although there are occasionally more away games thereafter. However, in addition to being a celebration of the return of certain alumni to the school, it is supposed to be the triumph of the team – even though the institution was marred slightly by the fact that all the high schools in the district shared the same field so Santa Inez's team didn't really return _home_, as it were. Anyway, the school selects one young woman and one young man, both of whom somehow exemplify the victorious spirit of the event, particularly through exceptional participation in clubs or extracurricular activities. The boy is crowned king during an assembly the day of the game, while the girl is crowned queen at halftime. The next night, a large celebratory dance is held on campus, usually in the gym or outdoors in the quad, in honor of the conclusion of a valiant, successful football season.

None of this explained to Bella why she needed to go to all the bother of getting a formal dress.

"At least you don't need two," Rosalie commented vaguely, sliding a series of bright yellow dresses along the rack at Nordstrom's, looking for her size. "I have to have one for halftime and one for the dance."

"Rosalie, shut up, you know you love any excuse to play dress-up. And you do realize that you could wear the same dress?" Alice pointed out, raising her eyebrows. "The tiara doesn't mean you have to prove anything."

"And I _do_ need two dresses." Bella held a long light purple number up against herself and faced a mirror. "I'm helping stage halftime, remember?"

"Put that back, the color looks horrible with your hair. And your halftime thing is supposed to be a cocktail dress or whatever," said Alice, waving her hand impatiently. She was apparently in some sort of a tetchy mood, trying to play both sides of the argument. "You can just borrow one."

Rosalie nodded. "I have an emerald green one that'd be gorgeous with your coloring. We'd have to take it in a little at the bust, though."

"Oh, thanks," Bella said sarcastically. "You know, we can't all be thirty-two D's."

Rosalie glanced up at Bella, amused. "I'm a thirty-four C. Thanks, though."

"Ooh," cooed Alice, interrupting them. She seized a bright red knee-length dress with a daring amount of lace and held it up to her chest before looking in the mirror. Then she wrinkled her nose and returned it to the rack, evidently agreeing with my unspoken opinion that it would make her look like a hooker. Rosalie sniffed at Bella and started walking towards the dressing room, three different dresses over her arm. Her high heels clicked on the overly polished marble.

"What do you think?" Alice held up two, one short black one and one halter in a loud floral print. It matched her personality.

Bella chewed her lower lip. "Try them both on, but if it were me, I'd save black for Prom or Formal. If you and Toby are just going as friends, it might be better anyway."

"Really? I like the black better. And it's short." Alice held it out, inspecting it. "But if I bought it, I'd probably take it home and remove the tulle."

"That'd be even worse!" Bella wrinkled her nose. "You'd look like you were going to a funeral. And to the best of my knowledge, nobody in your family has died recently."

"Not yet," Alice retorted, making a face, but she put the black dress back to avoid any further argument.

Eventually, and after much debate, Rosalie chose a soft butter-yellow slinky off-the-shoulder deal for the dance that emphasized the gold in her hair, and a pink mermaid cut for the game. Alice picked the patterned halter. The two of them wound up choosing Bella's dress for her, and they selected a short strapless one, turquoise covered in black lace and tulle with a wide ribbon sash, and Bella groaned at the thought that it would involve double-sided tape. The whole process was more trouble than it was worth, and Bella hadn't even been home yet that afternoon. She'd been finalizing the preparations for the assembly since three.

After they'd all paid, they headed outside and decided that they didn't have time to go for coffee. They hugged goodbye and headed off in opposite directions across the parking lot. When Bella and Alice got to Alice's POS, the latter slid the key into the ignition while the former turned on the radio. On the way home, they argued about what was to be done with Bella's hair for the dance (Bella wanted to just straighten it and leave it down; Alice wanted to play with it and put it up). Alice eventually guilt-tripped Bella into conceding, saying that since her hair was so short she should have the right to play with Bella's, especially if she didn't appreciate it myself, because _someone_ had to.

When the car turned onto their street, Bella sighed. Her mother's boyfriend's Camaro was in the driveway. Alice grimaced. "You want to come over?"

"Can't," Bella replied glumly. "I need my computer. And you know we wouldn't get anything done."

"If you're sure." Alice pulled into her driveway and they got out. Bella slid her arm through the straps of her schoolbag and lifted her dress sack and books. She could feel Alice's eyes on her, worried, as she crossed the street.

The front door was already unlocked, and it was quiet inside. Bella slipped in, praying that she could get to her room unnoticed. Alice had called Martin a creeper after she'd first met him, and while he'd never really done anything to warrant it, Bella had a hard time disagreeing with her. As she crept past the kitchen, she glanced in; Renee was stirring something on the stove and Martin was leaning up against the opposite counter, his arms folded across his chest as he stared off into space. Neither of them was speaking, but Bella's mother was flushed and there was a bright pink stain on Martin's collar.

Bella made it to her room and dumped her school stuff on her bed, breathing a sigh of relief. She hung the dress up, hesitated, and then went back to shut and lock her door.

It only took her an hour to finish up the essay that she had due on Friday, and since she'd pulled an all-nighter last night, she didn't have anything due tomorrow that wasn't already finished. She didn't feel like working ahead; she figured she'd earned the rest of the night off. Smiling, she got out her guitar.

"Hey, sweetheart," she whispered. She checked the strings, making sure it was still tuned, and then dug out her Notebook, an extremely beat-up blue spiral-bound that held all her works-in-progress. She sat in the green bean bag chair she'd had since she was five, the guitar in her lap, and flipped towards the back of the Notebook. She found what she was looking for, a song she'd only just started working on. Picking out the notes, she sang quietly, not wanting to attract the attention of the other two people in the house.

"_He lies awake, all alone, watching the shadows crawl across his walls. He wonders why he's here tonight, he wonders why he's still alive."_

Bella paused. It was more haunting now than it had felt when she wrote it. She shook her head and kept going.

"_He falls so slowly, he feels so lost, though he says he doesn't miss the past that is gone, but she thinks he's forgotten to take a breath, to realize that there's still something left._

"_But she feels he's worth it, she wants to stay and know everything. And she could be beautiful, and she could be his harmony."_

That was all she had thus far. She stared down at the lyrics scrawled in the Notebook, jotted down at the end of calc. Frowning, she flipped back through the pages before closing it and setting it back on the floor. She put the guitar aside so she could stand, and went to her window. As she looked across the backyard, she tried to process what she'd found – or rather _hadn't_ found – in the Notebook.

She'd never written a song for a guy before. And she knew, even if she hadn't known it while she was writing it, that this song was for Edward.

The rest of the week was hell on wheels. The student council tabulated the votes for the Homecoming King and Queen, got the assembly sorted out, had all the tickets sold (in order to prevent a selling-out, they had to quickly get some more printed at nine on Tuesday night), and ordered all the decorations that they couldn't provide themselves. The art classes had painted the backdrop for the photos as well as put together a few more rainbow-themed murals. These and the rest of the dance decorations were currently stacked or piled around the leadership room, since they couldn't get them into the gym until after the assembly.

Finally, it was Friday. All of leadership got to school at around six-thirty in the morning to finish setting up for the assembly. They got done around nine, and since it didn't start until ten, Mr. Whittier pretended not to notice when Erin left campus and came back with two dozen donuts. As Bella ate hers, sharing the group's feeling that, for better or for worse, Homecoming was almost over, Trish leaned over and whispered to her, "You know we have to be here tomorrow morning at nine to get it ready for the dance? And that we have to do this all again for Winter Formal? And again for Prom?"

Laure threw her napkin at her.

The assembly itself was one of the biggest examples of organized chaos Bella ever lived through. Sean, the ASB president; Jared, the senior class president; me; Brittany, the Commissioner of Special Events; and Jesse, the Commissioner of Elections, were positioned at strategic points around the gym during the whole thing, communicating to each other on walkie-talkies that looked like they'd come out of a seventies space invasion movie. They had to keep the skits at the appropriate length, cue the dancers and music at the right times, and maintain the proper lighting. Bella kept holding her breath, sure that _something _was going to go wrong. She was so distracted, she almost missed the announcement of the King. It was a guy on the Varsity football team, which she knew would make it interesting for Emmett if Rosalie wound up Queen. And Rosalie probably would, too, Bella thought, smiling to herself.

As everyone was filing out of the gym once the assembly was over, Bella saw Edward leaving with Emmett and Riley. Since she'd been here setting up all morning, she hadn't gone to chem, so she hadn't talked to Edward yet today. She ducked around the rest of the crowd, not wanting him to see her in her grimy, dust-covered sweatshirt with her sloppy ponytail, not up against all the Advanced Dance girls in their bright perky leotards.

And it wasn't like she could go home and relax once school was over. She booked it over to the leadership room, where she found the rest of the class. They loaded everything for the halftime show – an individual little stage for each princess to stand on, fifty yards of red fabric, the crown, the speaker system, huge amounts of balloons, and the walkie-talkies. As they walked off the trailer for the last time, Brittany sighed. "Was it supposed to be this hard?"

Bella shrugged. "Formal will probably be better. We'll all know what to do, anyway."

The girls got to change in the leadership room first; Bella pulled on Rosalie's green dress – which they had indeed had to take in at the chest – and decided to just carry the high heels to the bus. It took the guys much less time to get their suits on, and they caught up to the girls before Whittier could get even more pissy than he already was.

Once they were all settled, Bella glanced at her watch. Thirty-one hours until it was all over and she could go sleep.

"So we have to win this game," Edward checked, looking from Jasper to Riley.

They glanced at each other, and Riley shrugged. "Well, it'd help, of course. And it's not like the other school would throw the game for us. We wouldn't do it for them. My freshman year, we lost Homecoming to our rival school. And that _sucked_."

"'Course, we've never had a great football team," said Alice, who was on Jasper's other side. "Not that we can say that around Emmett or anything. Granted, we _are_ six for eight right now. Why is it always so _cold_ here?" she complained, interrupting herself.

Riley raised an eyebrow at his sister. "You could've worn a jacket. It's cold because these are concrete benches, and it's almost night, which is what we call it when the sun, that universal source of heat and light, goes away."

"Smartass." She slapped his arm. "I can't wait 'til you leave for college. My life'll be easier without your attitude."

"Nah, you know you're gonna miss me."

Edward looked down across the stands, which were about two-thirds full, towards the football field, and saw Emmett warming up with the rest of the football team as the cheerleaders set up their boxes and whatever. Alice had told him that Rosalie wouldn't be with the cheerleaders for the first three quarters of the game, since she was a Homecoming princess.

"So do you guys usually lose the Homecoming game?" Edward asked.

Alice tipped her head back, thinking. "We won it last year. My freshman year… I don't remember, 'cause it was our first year doing the Firebird convention, so we were busy with that. Riley? Do you know?"

"Don't remember." He turned his head. "Jasper?"

He didn't answer, and I looked up to see him staring across the stands at another group. Alice followed his eyes and sighed loudly. "_Honestly._"

Jasper jumped like she'd shook him, and spun his head back around. "Sorry, what was the question?"

"The _question_," Alice snapped, glaring at him, "is, 'when are you going to get it through your head that Crystal _has a boyfriend_, and that you need to get over her?' So it's two questions, really."

"Alice, leave him alone," Riley muttered, and shook his head at her. When Edward was sure nobody was watching him, he glanced over at where Crystal and The Boyfriend were sitting. He hadn't talked to her since that issue with The Boyfriend in the hallway outside of Physio three weeks ago, but every time he saw her, she looked okay. She looked fine now, anyway, leaning back against his chest.

The leadership kids showed up then, all in some kind of formal-looking clothing. Edward found Bella, in a green dress that looked really good on her, and even from here he could see how tired she was. She'd been so busy, and they'd just had lecture notes all week in chem, so he hadn't had a chance to talk to her after their tutoring session on Monday. But she hadn't looked like she'd tried really hard to find an opening to talk to him. Maybe he'd imagined the disappointment he thought he'd seen when he didn't ask her to the dance, right before Rosalie went off on him.

He heard Riley talking to Jasper: "You're part of our group for Homecoming, right?"

Jasper shook his head. "I'm not going."

Edward turned around as Alice sat up and yelped, "What?"

Jasper shrugged. "I didn't get around to buying a ticket."

Alice's eyes narrowed. "Jasper Whitlock, is this some stupid sort of, if-I-can't-go-with-Crystal-then-I-won't-go-with-anyone mentality? You know that's a totally defeatist shit attitude, right? _Right_?"

"Alice, lay off. That's not why I'm not going," he snapped, but he was looking down when he said it. "I just have some stuff to do for And See, She Flies, and I thought I'd be better served taking care of that than I would going to a dance that I don't have a date to!"

"And whose fault is that?"

"God, shut up, both of you," Riley groaned. "I was just trying to get a head count." Alice crossed her arms and scowled at the field, where both teams were finishing warming up; Jasper pulled out his phone. "Anyway," Riley continued, "if Jasper's not with us, that leaves me and Kaylee, Rosalie and Emmett, Alice and Toby, Bella, and you, Edward. Eight people, two cars. We're meeting at our house," he added, indicating himself and Alice.

Edward nodded, then frowned. Every time the subject of that dance came up, he felt kind of sick. Even though he knew this was not something worth getting nervous about. He'd been shot at and beaten – a _high school dance_ sure as hell shouldn't bother him.

"Hold up," said Alice suddenly. "We're not getting a limo?"

"We're poor, Alice," Jasper reminded her before Riley could say anything.

She snorted. "Yeah, we can't get a limo for five hours but Riley can go to Cornell."

Riley opened his mouth, but Jasper cut him off again. "You know that's not all coming out of your parents' pocket. And anyway, would you rather he not be able to go to Cornell?"

"I said _shut up_," Riley interrupted, loud enough that the people in front of them turned around. "My God, could you guys either start going out or leave each other alone? You're ridiculous sometimes."

Edward looked between Jasper and Alice when Riley said that, but neither of them reacted. Alice looked down at her phone as it buzzed in her hand.

A bunch of whistles went off down by the track, and the marching band got on the field for the pre-game show they always did.

"Ladies and gentlemen," said a man's voice over the loudspeakers, "if you would please rise and face the flag for our National Anthem."

Alice, Jasper, Riley, and Edward all stood, and Edward took off the baseball cap I was wearing. But as the anthem played, he wasn't looking at the flag. From the corner of his eye, he was watching Bella. She and the rest of the leadership people were in the front row of the stands, by one of the staircases down to ground level. She was standing still, her hand over her heart, but Edward could see the stress in her shoulders.

What if he _had_ asked her to go to the dance with him?

It was a weird feeling, caring about a dance. God knew, he never had before. For one thing, he never would've been able to afford Homecoming, and he felt weird about Carlisle and Esme paying for his ticket. Emmett didn't seem bugged by it, though. Suddenly, Edward was a little pissed. These rich fuckers didn't think there was anything bad about handing their kids ninety dollars for a dance ticket when some families lived ten people to a room, and just to get out of the house, boys hung out on streets and got themselves jumped into gangs. The excess of this side of Phoenix was disgusting sometimes.

Edward couldn't focus on the game, even though Jasper and Riley were cheering, and Alice was doing a pretty good job of screaming herself hoarse. Right before the first quarter had started, Bella had turned around in her seat, and Edward guessed she was searching for their group. He was the only one who'd been looking towards her, and she smiled at him and waved to him before turning back around. He kept catching himself looking for her during the first half. He jumped a little when the gun sounded for halftime, and Alice laughed at him.

"Have you been paying any attention?"

Edward shook his head. "Not really. What's the score?"

"We're up by two touchdowns," she replied happily. "And, look, there's Emmett."

Edward looked where she was pointing, and he saw his foster brother, still in his football pads and tires, jog over to where Rosalie was waiting with her dad, in a line with all the other Homecoming princesses and their fathers in the end zone. Ignoring her bright pink dress and tiara, he picked her up, spun her around, and planted a kiss on her lips. She slapped his shoulder pad, but Edward could tell she was laughing.

Just then Bella and a blonde girl hurried up to the princess people with a huge bunch of red fabric. Two of the cheerleaders stood on an end that dropped to the ground, and Bella and the other girl walked backwards with the red stuff rolling out between them, making a kind of runway along the sideline to the fifty-yard line. Cheerleaders knelt down on either side of the carpet, holding it in place. All the ASB people who were rushing around getting everything ready were in that pointless formal wear, which seemed kind of stupid to Edward.

He noticed that behind the cheerleaders, five different-colored mini-stages, each with a big black-covered panel behind it, had been set up on the field, and a balloon arch was set up at the end of the red carpet.

God, why did they have to make such a big damn deal out of this? It wasn't like it really mattered.

Bella lifted an old-school walkie-talkie, the same kind Edward had noticed her using during the assembly that morning, and talked into it, staring up at the announcers' booth at the top of the stadium. A couple of seconds later, music started playing over the stadium's speaker system. The Homecoming king, wearing a fuzzy red crown, stood under the balloon archway as one of the ASB girls started talking into a microphone about Homecoming and how important it was and stuff. Another girl handed her a piece of paper, and she introduced the first princess in line.

As the princess's dad walked his daughter up the red carpet, the ASB girl read off the paper how she was a good student and played Varsity volleyball and loved puppies and some other shit. The princess posed for a picture with the king and then went to go stand on one of the mini-stages.

The whole damn show was repeated four times before they finally, by dropping the black fabric from the panel behind her stage to show a rainbow, named Rosalie the Homecoming Queen. Like it would have been too easy to just call out her name over the speakers and get it over with. Whatever.

After they'd put the crown on Rosalie's head, Bella and the other princesses and ASB girls hugged her. The cheerleaders were all screaming and clapping.

Santa Inez barely won the game, and by then, Edward really didn't care anymore. Riley, however, was satisfied. "The dance'll be fun, then. It's never any good when we lose the game."

Edward grunted.

Since Emmett stayed out late with the rest of the team, Edward didn't really have a chance to talk to him before they had to leave to go to Riley and Alice's house for the dance. He went for a run, working on his times, trying not to think about the AG or how bad the dance would be that night.

He almost laughed at himself. He'd managed to put pissed-off gangbangers on the same level as the dance.

He'd never been to a dance before, even though they'd been a lot cheaper at his school in Tucson. Mostly, it was because the AG had made it clear that dances – and any other school thing – were for pussies, but there was also the fact that he'd never met a girl he'd really been interested in dancing with. For a long time, he was sure everything that had happened to him since he was a kid would keep him from ever dating, or wanting to have a girlfriend. Since he got moved around the state so much, it wasn't like there were any girls he could hang out with on a regular basis, even if he'd wanted to. And the whole concept of a _relationship_ was just stupid.

Knowing all that, he was having a hard time figuring out how he got here, in a suit, surrounded by people in more formal wear, posing for pictures taken by Riley's mom. Alice kept telling Edward to stand with Bella – "It has to be balanced!" – when the rest of them lined up as couples. Even though he didn't mind being close to Bella – and he was really glad she wasn't going to the dance with an actual date – it was awkward because he couldn't figure out where to put his hands.

Edward glanced at Riley, whose hands were on Kaylee's waist as she stood with her back to him, and they weren't even going out. Feeling really clumsy, Edward lifted his hands and put them on either side of the ribbon thing on Bella's dress, keeping them way above her hips. Her head turned slightly, and her cheek was bright red. Since her hair was pinned up, Edward could see the flush go all down her neck, too. He flinched and was about to drop his hands, but Mrs. Coleman shouted, "Last one! Smile!" and they all faced the camera. Moving slowly, Bella leaned back so her head was resting on Edward's chest. The camera clicked.

"Awesome sauce!" sang Alice. "Now let's go, or we'll be late to dinner."

As Mr. and Mrs. Coleman shouted warnings about not drinking and being safe and getting home by one _at the very latest_, Edward followed the rest outside. The sun had just set as they piled into the cars, everyone else talking over each other. He reached up and tugged at my collar.

He wound up sitting next to Bella in the back seat of Riley's car. Riley drove with one hand on Kaylee's thigh, and Edward was really aware of the couple inches of gray upholstery between Bella's leg and his own. Thank God Kaylee and Bella could talk to Riley; Edward sure as hell didn't know what to say. He stared out his window. While it was nice of Emmett to try and include him, Edward was sure he'd've been better off staying home.

He watched Bella's laughing reflection in the glass and remembered how she'd blushed when he'd touched her. There had been two times since he'd met her, he realized, that she'd leaned into him, like she thought it was safe.

What sucked most was that he had no context for this. Where he came from, girls were up-front when they wanted you. And while he'd never wanted any of them, he realized he had still taken their obviousness for granted. He never had to assume anything.

He couldn't assume that Bella cared about him, even if he did care about her.

Edward was uncomfortable as hell during dinner, and he didn't eat a lot, because he still hated it when the Sheridans spent money on him. Alice and her date were sitting between him and Bella, so Edward didn't have to deal with not knowing what to say to her. Even though it meant that they'd have to go to the dance, he was glad when they finally left the restaurant. He'd noticed that with these people, the subject of college came up at least once during every conversation. College was just one more thing Edward didn't have in common with any of them. Bella glanced at him once, but he didn't talk about dropping out, so she didn't either.

In the car, Kaylee turned the radio up and she and Bella sang along with it, eventually breaking off to just giggle. They only stopped when the car pulled into the school's parking lot. Already, Edward could hear bass of the bad dance music pounding.

"Wow," Kaylee whispered as they got out of the car. She stared out at the campus, which looked kind of like one of those Skittles commercials with rainbows and shit all over the place. She smiled at Bella, her eyes wide. "It looks great!"

Bella smiled back, and for the first time that night Edward noticed she still looked exhausted. "Thanks. It should – we started working at nine this morning, and we didn't finish until five." Emmett and the others caught up with them, and he and Rosalie led the way onto campus along a path marked by twinkling little multicolored light things and balloons.

"You put any of these up?" Edward asked Bella. It was the first time he'd started a conversation all night.

She shrugged. "I strung some on the roofline," she told him, nodding up at the roof of the performing arts building. "But I was mostly working inside."

They got to the door of the gym as she was talking. Someone checked their tickets, and they walked inside. It was already really crowded and loud and kind of dark, since most of the light came from more of the little twinkly things.

"Damn." Edward looked down at Bella, talking louder so she could hear him. "You got all this done today?"

"No," she said, but he could tell she was proud. "The murals" – she pointed – "have been done for a while. We just did the streamers and balloons and draping – and the outside – between yesterday afternoon and today."

She glanced down, and when she looked back up he kind of thought she was going to say something else, or ask him something. But this other guy showed up out of nowhere and asked her to dance. She went, but she shot a quick look at Edward again.

Edward turned back to the rest of the group, but they were all gone except Emmett. "Where's Rosalie?" he asked.

He leaned against the wall. "She's gotta dance with the Homecoming king," he told Edward, pointing. " Photo op. What about Bella?"

"Somebody asked her to dance. And don't say it," Edward warned. "I've heard it enough from your girlfriend."

Emmett held up his hands, but he was grinning. "I'm not saying anything."

"Good," Edward muttered. "And you can get that damn smirk off your face too."

"Defensive, aren't we?" He reached over to punch Edward shoulder. "Yeah, I'm saying nothing. Nothing at all."

That song ended, and another one started, this one faster. Rosalie left her Homecoming king, looking like she was pretty glad to do it, and came back to Emmett. Alice's date was distracted, and Edward guessed she felt sorry for him, standing by the wall by himself, so she had him dance with her.

"You look out of your element," she told Edward bluntly as they started dancing.

"Thanks," he said sarcastically. But then he admitted, "I got no idea what I'm doing here."

She shrugged, almost shouting to be heard over the music. "I get you. And if it makes you feel any better, dances are always a lot more fun in theory than they are in practice. My freshman year, Homecoming was a total disaster for me."

"Yeah? What happened?"

She scowled, clearly still not over it. "Some bitch had my same dress."

Edward laughed, even though he wasn't really sure if she was joking or not. He'd never really talked to her alone, and she was pretty funny. Also – thank God – she didn't talk about him and Bella.

A couple more songs passed, and Edward noticed he wasn't the only person there without a date. He danced with a couple of girls from cross country, but he felt kind of bad, because he was just looking for Bella the entire time. Guys kept coming up to her, and even from across the gym he could tell that she was trying to sit down. Didn't any of them see that? Even her ex came up to her and asked for a dance.

Edward sighed, remembering what Alice had said during registration about Bella being a forgiving person. Of course she'd want to be with a Ken doll like Chris Janssen. How stupid to think of her wanting to be with someone like Edward.

But he stopped answering Kristen, the girl he was dancing with, seeing how Bella's smile suddenly turned fake. Even though it was a faster song, Chris was trying to sort of pull her into his arms, like for slow dancing. She put a hand on his shoulder and leaned away. Without saying anything to Kristen, Edward dropped her hand and started across the gym.

He pushed past some dancing couples, still watching Bella. She almost looked worried now as she tried to take a step back from Janssen. He grabbed her arm.

"…Just one dance, okay, babe?" Edward heard him say, and it sounded slurred.

"I'm not your babe." Bella tried to pull her arm back, but Janssen wouldn't let go.

Edward finally got there. "Hey," he snapped, noticing with pleasure that he was taller than Janssen. "Leave her alone. She said no."

Janssen tried to glare up at Edward, but it was like he had a hard time focusing. Definitely wasted. "I'm talking to my girl. What do you want, beaner?"

Bella's eyes blazed as she ripped her arm back. "How dare you?" she demanded, but Edward put an arm on her shoulder, shaking his head.

"It's not worth it." Edward had heard worse, after all. "Come on."

"Hey, you don't walk away from me–"

"Janssen," Edward interrupted. "I'd gladly beat your ass, but I'd rather do it when you're sober. Just fuck off, okay?"

"Name the place, fucker. I'll be there." He flipped Edward off and staggered away, bumping into another couple as he did. _Stupid pussy. _Bella frowned up at Edward.

"Was that necessary?"

Edward shrugged. "Worked, didn't it?" I took her hand and lifted it, trying to see her arm where he'd grabbed her. "You okay? Did he hurt you?"

"No," she said, and he almost didn't hear her over the music. But she didn't take her hand back. "I mean, my head hurts, but…."

"Let's go, then."

Bella hesitated, then nodded. Still holding Edward's hand, she pulled him through the crowd until she found the first guy who'd danced with her. She tapped him on the shoulder. "Sean."

"Yeah?" He turned, and the girl he was dancing with scowled at Bella.

"I've got a headache. Can I go, please?"

He sighed, but grinned at her. "Sure. I'll cover for you if Whittier comes looking."

"Thanks."

Edward tried to push his way through all the people for her, heading towards the door. He saw Emmett's face over everyone's head, and it split into a huge smile when he saw who Edward was with. Edward shook his head at him and looked away. They finally made it to the door, and he could literally feel the temperature drop ten degrees.

She shivered a little when they got outside, so he took off his jacket and put it around her shoulders. She smiled in thanks as she put her arms through the sleeves, but didn't say anything. He noticed, though, that this silence didn't feel awkward, like it would have before. It just felt quiet.

They weren't really going anywhere specific, just kind of wandering away from the decorations, and he only noticed the sounds of the dance had completely faded when they got to the ampitheater. Still not talking, they made their way halfway up the seats before she sighed and sank onto one of the metal benches, and he sat next to her. Because of the Phoenix smog, he couldn't see any stars, just the moon, and even that looked yellow.

He broke the silence first. "You sure he didn't hurt you?"

She nodded. "I'm fine. Thank you."

He nodded too, and looked down at her. Her hands clasped in her lap; he saw her knuckles tighten. Tension circled around them, like they were caught in a bubble. She reached up and pulled some pins out of her hair, letting it fall around her face and shoulders. It kind of rippled, holding on to some hairspray. It looked black in the dark. Black and soft.

As he watched her, he thought about himself. About how much had changed for him since the end of July. He was not the same person he'd been, and suddenly he was happy about that. He was happy that he was sitting with her now, and happy that she wanted to be here too. Wanted _him_ here.

She relaxed and leaned into him, and even though he hadn't expected it, he didn't pull away. She rested her head on his shoulder, and without really thinking about it, just knowing that it felt natural, he slipped an arm around her waist. He could feel his heart beating fast now, feel everything around him changing.

And he realized what was happening. What he was _allowing_ to happen, even though he'd sworn to himself he would not let it get this far.

Bad enough that he was falling for her. That, he could live with. But what he couldn't accept was this, whatever in the hell it was, building between them, building and growing into something out of his control. It could hurt her. If she got attached to him in any way, _she would get hurt_. People around him got hurt. And this attraction he had for her, that he was almost sure she had for him, was turning into more than he could handle, more than he could protect her from.

It felt like too much. It felt like he had to stop it.

He didn't want to stop it.

"Bella." He said her name quietly and she tilted her face up, her dark eyes finding his. He suddenly remembered that one random dream he'd had the first week of school, the one where he'd been kissing her so hard. He forced it away. _I can't do this to her. I owe her that much_.

"We shouldn't do this shit," he told her quietly. "There's stuff in my life that I don't want touching yours. It's… not good for you to be around me. You should be with someone who can give you everything that you deserve."

She didn't blink. Her face hadn't changed the entire time he was talking. "Do you want to?"

He frowned. "Do I want to what?"

"Do you want to give me everything that you think I deserve?" Her voice was so quiet he almost didn't hear the question.

"It doesn't matter," he said, shaking my head. "I can't. You shouldn't be with me."

Her eyes set, seemed to burn. Her hand drifted up, her fingertips brushed along his jaw. The stubble that was just beginning to grow felt rough against her skin. When she spoke again, it was just a whisper. "Let me be the judge of that."

He exhaled. _No_. If something happened to her, if she wasn't safe because of him…. He didn't want to let that happen. But what about what he _did_ want? Didn't that matter, too? Didn't it matter that it was the same as what she wanted?

She didn't move, except for her fingers, which were curling into the hair at the base of his neck. She was watching him. She was making this his choice.

And, not because her hand was drawing him down but because it was what he wanted to do, he leaned in and brushed her mouth with his own. He drew back, and saw her eyes smile into his briefly before she reached up and kissed him again.

Some corner of his mind realized this was nothing like his dream; it wasn't rushed, it wasn't frantic. But as he lifted his other hand and put it on her cheek, feeling the blood rush up under her skin, he knew that it felt right anyway. She was so sweet, and so soft, and she wanted to kiss him, and he wanted to kiss her back. And right now, that was enough to make him forget all the reasons why it shouldn't happen. Right now, that was everything.

Eventually she sat back and just looked up at him, her face light and open as she ran her fingers across his eyebrow and down to my throat. The corners of her mouth lifted as her eyes closed, and she lay her head on his shoulder again. And he just held her, feeling her breathe.


End file.
